Posts Tagged ‘Chad Johnson’

Chad Ocho Cinco Has Lost His Mind!

September 5, 2008

Now last season when Chad called himself “Ocho Cinco” for an entire week and showed up on Sunday with the rigged Ocho Cinco jersey, it was pretty funny.  I’ve even called him Ocho Cinco since then.  In a sport where you get paid to create your own personality, I have to say it was a good move.

Now Chad has officially changed his name to Chad J. Ocho Cinco.  Uhhhh Chad, this joke ended 10 months ago homey.  Now you’ve made it permanent and the Bengals are officially changing his name.  It is already updated on the rosters page on ESPN.  Chad, let’s keep it fresh.  You could have changed it to “Unstoppable”, really made it crazy.  Touchdown by Chad Unstoppable.

This is the worst thing since He Hate Me.

You better rip it up Chad, or change the name back long about Week 4.  Oh you also better hope the Bengals are playing winning ball this year too.  There is nothing worse than being 2-7 and walking around with Ocho Cinco on your back like an asshole.

-Brock


Man Up Monday: Chad Johnson

April 28, 2008

Since the end of last season, Chad Johnson, Mr. Ocho Cinco, Mr. Touchdown celebration, is been saying he wants out of Cincinnati. A few weeks ago, when there had not been an movement Chad demanded a trade, saying he would not play for the Bengals anymore, trade or not. He’s got it all planned out, right? It was a few weeks ahead of the draft, he’s a future Hall of Famer, and one of the premier receivers in the league. But wait, Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis apparently doesn’t play that shit.

Marv went on and hit Chad with that “brother please”. Marvin called him out and said you want to sit out? Be a man of your word and sit out. How do you feel about that Chad?

For those of you who can’t read faces…that look above is known as the “Oh Shit”. Yeah Chad, Marvin is calling your bluff. Chad you signed a contract extension just two years ago for an additional $35.5 million that extends for another three years. That means you’ll be leaving at least $7 Million on the table this year.

To prove it, the Bengals went on ahead and drafted a gang of wide receivers to cover their ass. Hey Marvin, which way should Chad go to find the Bengals locker room?

Haaaaaaa. Marvin doesn’t give a damn. He’s like an old gangster. “Chad is dead to me”. He’s already looking toward the horizon and will let Chad rot at home if he doesn’t want to suit up. So the ball is in Chad’s court and right now it is Marvin Lewis – 1, Chad Johnson – 0. Here’s the position Chad will be playing next season…left out.

I guess Marvin wasn’t on your infamous list of people you can beat.

Chad, Marvin has completely called you out and the ball is in your court. I don’t know what you are going to do next, so this Man Up isn’t even from me. Marv is calling you out, he’s pulling your card, he demands that you MAN UP!

What ya gonna do Chad?

-Brock