Posts Tagged ‘Brett Favre retires’

The Brett Favre Saga Keeps Getting Better

August 1, 2008

I can’t tell if Brett Favre is a hero, an asshole, or an evil genius, but I’ve never seen anything like this.  Brett Favre got two consecutive Man Up Mondays, might have gotten a third if Miguel Cotto hadn’t punked out at taken a knee at the end of that fight.  It has gotten so bad that the Packers are asking begging Brett Favre to stay away.  To which Brett Favre replied, “Sure thing, chief”.

Then Brett said, “Now when I said I was going to stay away from camp, I meant I wasn’t going to beak out the s’mores and tents at the camp grounds near my house in Mississippi not Packers training camp.”  Brett Favre is talking about going to Packers camp, punking Aaron Rogers for his job, creating a split in the team, making the coach and the owner play one of the worst games of chicken in the history of sports.  In fact I think Brett is going to try to steal the team one man at a time.

I get it, the Packers want it all.  Brett put them in a horrible position by playing this whole thing out in public, but he’s at least partially right.  The Packers are ready to start building the next Brett Favre in Aaron Rogers, but can’t move on…they could end up with nothing.  Favre wants to play, but may end up playing for the Bears or the Vikings and rolling up into Lambeau at least once a year and whooping on the Packers.  The Packers can’t have that. In fact, the Packers think that would be sooooo bad.  They allegedly offered Brett, $20,000,000 to stay at home.  I mean no one has gotten paid that much to not do shit since Brady Quinn (damn, haven’t gotten one of those in for a long time).

Brett could’ve cashed that in and been straight rollin’

Where is this clown going to end up?  I think he has one of the best seasons of his career wherever he ends up, as long as it is not Green Bay.  I know my man Grande Mequon does not like this.  Nope, not one bit.

-Brock

Man Up Monday: Brett Favre is Back

July 21, 2008

It is our first repeat performance, Brett Favre put in another week of bitchassness to get a second consecutive Man Up Monday.

You know the crazy thing about Brett Favre?  We all know he’s a cowboy asshole, but I’m not sure he knows it.  One thing is for certain, Brett Favre sure looooves him some Brett Favre.  I mean, this guy is always Brett Favre first and everyone else second.  It shows up when he tries to throw into triple coverage because he thinks he’s the only man in the history of the world who can do it.  It has been showing every time he didn’t retire for the last few years.

This is what Brett Favre looks like when he is not retiring.

So here’s what Brett did this week.

He had an interview with Greta Van Susteren, Wisconsin native and Packers shareholder.  Nice one.  Way to jump right into the hard hitting interview.  Way to step outside of anyone who knows anything about sports and football.  Drunk Joe Namath would’ve asked more pointed questions.  Hell, they could have agreed on one thing, neither of them could care less about the team strug-ga-ling.

Then Brett makes the announcement that he might show up at Packers camp to call their bluff.  What bluff is that Brett?  The bluff that they couldn’t possibly want anyone other than you to be quarterback?  Distracting and holding the Packers hostage so they can never play with anyone other than him?

Favre is going to stick it to the Pack this year.  The Vikings are supposedly in the mix and being investigated for tampering.  Can you imagine Favre and A. Pete rolling into Lambeau?  Ugly.  You upgrade Tavaris Jackson to Brett Favre?  Actually, the Vikings would still suck.  Brett just needs to go away or formally become the GM of some program so he can hire himself as QB.

Brett, Man Up and head back home.  You know good and well the Packers can’t make this decision without looking like assholes.  Your real retirement as a Packer is going to be tarnished now, and no one wants to see you wearing anything but green and yellow.

See, that doesn’t even look right.

Brett, I told ya last week, now you need to listen to me.

Man Up!

-Brock

Man Up Monday: Brett Favre

July 14, 2008

Brett Favre must think that “retire” is what you do when your car gets a flat because he sure as hell has no intention of quitting football.  Just FYI Brett, here is the real definition: “to withdraw, or go away or apart, to a place of privacy, shelter, or seclusion”.  Got it?  Go away, withdraw, get out, stop.  Brett, you’ve got the ring, you’ve got the MVP’s, you’ve got the touchdown record, you’ve got the yardage record, you are a first ballot Hall Of Famer, you define the modern Green Bay Packers, and you’ve had a great 16 year career.  By the way, remember this?

Riiiiiight, that was when you promised yourself that you wouldn’t get emotional, told everyone you were hanging it up, when you decided to stop holding the Packers and Aaron Rogers hostage.

Come on Brett, what is it really?  You always say it is the love of the game, you claim that you’ve still got it, people at a high school in Mississippi still talk about you throwing it 50 yards “on a rope”. Hey Brett, you can come clean with me:

Deanna looks like a nice lady.  Is it that bad staying at home?  Does Deanna need to step her game up or something?  I’ve never seen a man who wants to stay on the road more than you do bruh.  When I first heard the news, I knew at least these chicks would be happy.

Naaaaaah, their pissed too.  Because long about 2 hours after Brett tried to rescind his retirement, he also dropped the formal letter asking for his unconditional release.  Which means he can roll anywhere he wants, including a division rival, a title contender, anyone.  Unconditional?  Probably not.  Look, don’t get me wrong the Packers are more than ready to start the post-Favre era…BUT they aren’t going to do it if you are going to be showing up in a Bears uniform whooping ass in Green Bay twice a season anytime soon.

You know what, I knew when I saw you throw that pick in overtime that you were going to come back, there was no chance you were going to let that be your final pass.  Fun fact, the first pass that Brett Favre ever threw in the NFL was in Atlanta…was an interception…and it got run back for a touchdown.  Classic Favre right there.

You know what, this one is going to sound backwards.  Normally Man Up Monday is about sacking up, stepping up, and making it happen.  This time, it takes a bigger man to step down.  Just like I told Hillary, there is a time to pack it up and go home for the good of the Packers, for the good of the future of the league, and for your own damn good.  Besides you are already on the cover of Madden.  You’re cursed.  They tried to pick a retired player to avoid players ducking the cover, we’ll you just brought yourself back and right into the crosshairs of one of the nastiest bad luck streaks ever.

Brett, man up and stay home.  The best players in the game have passed you by.  Don’t go all Vinnie Testaverde on us, ok?

Man Up!

-Brock

Favre Finally Calls It a Career…Yawn.

March 4, 2008

This is barely news for me, but I’ll post on it because one of our boys from back in our college days had the audacity to send me a sentimental email on the topic, so I figured I’d just give a quick comment and move on, so here it is: Brett Farve retired, then, jimmy cracked corn and I don’t care.

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See unlike some of these clowns out here, I don’t see Brett like this:

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Sure, homey was a good QB and you basically had to be an asshole, which I am, to hate on him, but let’s face it, toward the end of his career, 75% of the time he was about as off key as a William Hung solo.

1. Selfishness – While everyone else in the league gets rapped on for being a “selfish diva” which is doubly disrespectful because it’s really just a soft way to call a dude a bitch (They do it to TO, Chad Johnson, Moss), Farve was the epitome of this toward the end. First, dude had the nerve to get miffed when the Packers drafted Aaron Rodgers as if they aren’t supposed to think about life after Favre. Like he wasn’t holding the club hostage after each and every season with this silly talk about retirement. Nilla Pleez!

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Then he went out of his way to diss Rodgers, even going so far as to say that he wasn’t there to help another guy develop. Then homey asked for a trade, gave some silly line about having the most talent around him since he’d been there (Reggie White anyone?) and just so happened to retire AFTER he broke a bunch of Dan Marino records he claims not to care about.

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What a dick.

2. Interceptions – Has anybody gotten more of a free pass for throwing the most ridiculous interceptions ever known to man?

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I know, I know, he’s a good ole gunslinger… A good ole boy who plays like he’s 10 years old, back in the bayou, eatin’ rattle snake and snackin’ on crawfish.

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Believe me, I get it. Farve can get a free pass for his horrible decision-making, but with every other QB, that’s a sign of immaturity. Farve is the NFL’s All-Time career leader in Interceptions! Farve was a walking contradiction. A double standard personified. I will miss seeing him throw interception after interception at the most inopportune time, but I won’t miss the fact that it was always glossed over. Tarnished his legacy? That IS his legacy.

3. Man crushes –

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God will I EVER be happy not to have to hear all these clowns on ESPN, CBS and Fox talk about “how good Brett Favre is”, how “you won’t find another guy who enjoys the game as much”, how “he just goes out there and plays.” I mean, come on. Brett must be a pretty cool dude to have all these dudes on his nuts like that.

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Let’s face it, dude was pretty good but he wasn’t that good. He’s not Joe Montana, he’s not John Elway, he’s not Steve Young, hell, he’s not Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. Dude is good enough to be a Hall of Famer and that’s good, but he’s on the bottom of that list, not the top.  I’m really happy that I won’t have to hear anymore Brett Favre dack riding, so I’m happy to see the boy go and no, I won’t be crying that I won’t see Brett play ever again.

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He does enough crying for all of us. Next.

– Lake