Posts Tagged ‘Boxing’

Down Goes Floyd Mayweather!

June 9, 2008

Aw Hail Naw. I’m out trying to get my drink right on Friday night when I see the information come through on the UvT hotline that Floyd “Money May” Mayweather has retired from boxing.

That’s right, Floyd threw them deuces to his entire career and said that hes not coming back.  Why, Floyd, why?  First, we find out that you were making it rain in a club with fake $100’s, now you are quitting the game altogether?

Look there are only a few reasons why Floyd would stop now:

1.  Floyd is scared of Oscar De La Hoya.

I’m hoping that isn’t it.  Oscar is way past his prime, Floyd always dominates him, and the payoff is worth $20 Million plus.  In addition we’d get another great season of 24/7 on HBO.  Always entertaining.

2. He’s worried about ending up punch drunk.

I actually hear this argument.  If you are a boxer, you don’t want to go out after you’ve slowed down, started taking too many hits and really begin to lose your faculties.  Besides, Floyd has seen the effects of staying in the game too long up close.  His dad took so many hits he thinks this haircut is acceptable.

My bad, that is mean.  The cut is acceptable if you are a predator or a klingon.

3. Money May plans to go UFC.

I hope this isn’t the case because I like Money May.  In boxing welterweight is 147 pounds…right that would be the average weight of a dude in high school…if you count the freshmen in the average.  That is not grown man size.  In the UFC a welterweight is 170.  Now I don’t know what weight Floyd “walks around” at, but he doesn’t seem like the biggest dude out there to me.  Let me be the first to say this.  Floyd might be the baddest, quickest dude in the division with the fastest hands, but no one is ever going to stand up with him.  They would have to be crazy.  Floyd will catch a kick to the leg and and takedown before the bell is done ringing.

4. Money May just needs a vacation.

This is where Lake shakes out.  He doesn’t believe Money May is going anywhere.  Floyd just needs a little time off, the right opponent, and the right payday.  So Floyd just needs a little R&R.  Where you ask?

Mexico of course.

And no Floyd.  We don’t want to hear about how you plan to follow your passion and release a rap album, or start acting, or any of that. We don’t care, you are a boxer and if you aren’t going to box we don’t need to see you do anything else.  Okay?  Thanks.


Kimbo Slice is Real

February 18, 2008

Kimbo Slice is a youtube street legend. This cat just used to come to your backyard and whoop your ass for money. Well I guess he figured out that fighting on TV is better than fighting for $1,000 in the streets of the MIA. Kimbo is still in the minor leagues, and he may be fighting people custom fitted for his brawling style, but this dude is whooping ass. Here is a fight against legend Tank Abbott a few nights ago.

Sure, Tank is washed up now, but no one has ever accused him of not being able to take a punch. Kimbo absolutely destroyed that dude.

I’m sure his ground game is suspect and he will get caught off guard by anyone with half a ground game. Right now though those punches look deadly.  He needs to get control of those punches to the back of the head, but people are going to be scared of stepping into the ring with him as he really hits hard.


Boxing: Jones v. Trinidad

January 18, 2008

I would love to offer some detailed UvT style analysis of the upcoming Roy Jones, Jr. versus Felix “Tito” Trinidad fight on Saturday, but I honestly barely care.  I loved to watch Roy Jones fights almost as much as I loved to watch Prince Naseem Hamed, but neither has been entertaining since 2000.  But instead of hard hitting analysis of the fight, I will analyse this single picture from the weigh in.



Why the hell are the fighters wearing parkas?  Is the weigh in outside?

Tito has on that “It never gets this cold in Puerto Rico, so I just got a windbreaker” coat on.

When did Roy Jones grow out that beard?  It certainly isn’t going to make him any faster.

Roy Jones is 39, when does his contract with Brand Jordan end?

What the hell is Don King looking at?

When Mr. T decided to stop wearing gold, did Don King purchase it all at a cut rate?  Why did he decide to wear it all at once?

Is that jacket that Don King has on both airbrushed and bedazzled?

Did Don King actually get a haircut?  That almost looks reasonable.

Is anyone actually planning on dropping $50 for the privilege of watching this fight 6 days earlier than you can watch it on HBO for “free”?  I didn’t think so.


UvT Sports: Mayweather v. Hatton

December 9, 2007

That was a great fight last night.


Me and my man Smokey have a quick message for Irish Ricky: