Posts Tagged ‘Big Brother Chill town’

Big Brother 10: Season Premiere Review

July 14, 2008

Well well well…if it aint one of my favorite reality tv shows back on the air, BIG BROTHER.  Man, I’ve often told Brock, if there is one reality tv game I’d do, it’d be Big Brother.  I mean, just breaking cats down mentally, tricking them into icing down their friends and playing politics based purely on my powers of persuasion…that’s me.  Survivor is great, but without gel to smooth my hair down, I’d already be at half strength from jump.  And while Lake despises the metro-sexual, which is really a nice way of calling a cat gay, I keep shit too pretty to have bugs, rats and dirty hippies crawling on my while I’m catching a Z or three.

Nah, if I did a reality show, I’d definitely be doing Big Brother and I’d certainly be following the Chill-Town model with ala Will and to a lesser extent, Mike Boogie.  I still love those guys.

So I peeped this first episode and mostly I was underwhelmed.

But that’s ok, because I felt the same way about Big Brother 9 and that shit ended up being INSANE.  So I’m sure it will be fine.  The short of the first show is that they went ahead and picked the Head of Household on looks alone.  Naturally, the old dude, Jerry, won given that generally speaking, everyone else in the house looked exactly the same.  And the old dude was asked to verify, which he happily did, whether some J’s were fake or real….I liked that about him.  No quit.

Hey, who knows, maybe there is hope for John McCain after all.  Anyway, the old dude rolls up into the HOH room and we see the obligatory pic of him in his Korean War get up, then some young buck comes in and basically tricks him into picking his two nominations, a crazy broad from New Orleans that everyone thinks is annoying and a wild professional body builder.  Hey, we’ll see.  It’s basic Big Brother, antics.  Do you get rid of the annoying chick who scarily slid on a wig/head band combo?

Yuck… Or do you out the potentially threatening meathead?  I say off the meathead while you’ve got a shot, plus annoying chicks who ruffle people’s feathers are always good for everyone else in the house.  Keeps the eyes off them.  Oh and we had the sell out sister on display and that’s always a good thing.

And by good thing I mean terrible.  Fine, you’re with a white dude, but you don’t have to be completely defined by it.  I mean, just play it cool.  This chick gets in the house five minutes and suddenly is babbling about her “fair skinned” daughter and the fact that she’s got twins, one a blue eyed “white baby” and the other a “black baby, that looks like (her)”.

AND?  I got a dog that looks like the Men in Black pooch only different, so the fuck what?  Look, nobody cares about your sold lifestyle, your extra light skinned 2 out of 3 children or the fact that your kids have different skin colors from any of the versions of Michael Jackson.

You know who cares about shit like that?  Chicks who have MAJOR issues with the fact that they’re sold.  And I know what you’re thinking, “Lake, why so harsh, maybe she just said it in passing”… nah, I went over to the broad’s profile and she’s got it in there too.  Meanwhile, her twins are only 5 months old and she’s running off to play a Reality TV game?  Perfect.  Why’d you wait so long?  You should have been on Big Brother 9, taken the spike from both Crazy James and Parker and then you’d really have something to talk about when you first meet people.

What kind of parent, let alone a mother, leaves her extra light skinned blue eyed baby and “looks just like her” black child all alone to deal with their first months of life?  I mean, what are they going to drink in lieu of breast milk, Gatorade G2?  “It’s good because my mama like it and if my mama like it, I like it…”  AHNT haa  That’s a horrible commerical by the way, D Wage.. Just awful.   And with their mother gone, whose going to pass along those all so important color issues to the next generation of sellouts and self haters?

Anyway, I’m pretty amp’d for Big Brother.  My tivo was looking pretty dry and anemic, so this should definitely give it a boot along with Generation Kill, From G’s to Gents (lol) and I Love Money.  If yall think of any other shows I need to add to my list, please shout me a holler.

– Lake