Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

Once You Go Barack…

September 12, 2008

You never go back.

Don’t know when this was, but that is hilarious.  Bill was slacking on his pimping for real.

Fox News Turns on the Republican Party!

September 2, 2008

Remember this piece of analysis critical to defending the American people against a massive conspiracy?

Well, they’ve finally turned their brand of sharp analysis on the Republican Party to reveal this bombshell about McCain and Palin.


Damn.  Are the interns drunk down there?  We need to sharpen up the UvT Photoshop department.  Then we really could be like Fox News.


Barack Did It

August 29, 2008

Shout out to Barack Obama for accepting the Democratic Nomination last night.

This is a moment in history that most people didn’t think America was ready for.  Barack seized the moment and delivered eveything anyone could have possibly asked for.  He acknowledged the history, he addressed the issues, he set the prime moments of his agenda, he drew a stark difference between himself and McCain.  And yes, I will be watching the Republican convention next week to see what they have to say.  I fully expect to see more of this.

Fuck Fox News.


Jesse Jackson has Gone Nuts!

July 10, 2008

Oh Jesse, you had to go ahead and do it, huh?

Jesse got caught off guard with a “hot mic” and said that Barack Obama talks down to Black people and that he “wants to cut his nuts off”. First of all, any reference to another man’s nuts is a clear violation of rule #1. Jesse didn’t even say “no homo” before he said it. Second, why doesn’t Jesse tell us how he really feels. Finally, since when is “cut your nuts off” in anyone’s arsenal of insults? What happened to “take him out to the woodshed”, or “give him a piece of my mind”, or even a good old fashioned “whoop his ass”?

I guess his endorsement back in March doesn’t mean a damn thing. In fact, when was that last time Jesse did something that did mean a damn thing?

Right, in th 60’s. Jesse, look we’ve let you ride this long but you just officially wore out your usefulness. Your own son even called you out on this one.

That means that even a man who still rocks a high top fade has better judgment, tact and sense than you.

Look, we look past the fact that his latest “large-scale protests” end up looking like this

We will forget the fact that you got your side chick and staffer pregnant back in 2001. We will even look past the fact that for some reason your mustache has never been quite right. But come on Jesse, you know better than this. I know you didn’t expect everyone to pick up what you said because of the mic, but who the hell were you talking to and under what circumstance is that comment ever appropriate?

Right. Never. I know, I know, you wanted to be the first Black president in 1984, and now Barack is stealing your thunder.

Damn homey, in the 60’s you were the maaaaaaan homey.



Wait, wait, wait….  Now when I first heard this story I knew it was the worst, but I automatically imagined the best, worst case scenario.  You know, Jesse is backstage at a speaking engagement and there was a mic nearby.  He was sitting down a dais having a private whispered conversation a little too loudly.  Come to find out, this man was on a television set, fully miced up, sitting in front of a bank of televisions…DOING A FOX NEWS INTERVIEW!  And like my dreams of every taser incident that ever occurs from this day forth…THEY CAUGHT IT ON TAPE!

Jeeeeees.  I haven’t seen a “that ain’t right” look away like that since Mike Meyers was standing next to Kanye when he said “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people“. Jesse, you didn’t know the mic was on?  That’s like a chick being on the Bachelor and saying she didn’t know there were going to be 24 other babes there.  Like going to Vegas in July and saying I didn’t think it was going to be so hot.  Like doing an interview on Fox News and thinking they are going to be Fair and Balanced.  Wait, that’s what you did.  Dammit.  This clip is going to run forever.

Obama Stays out of the Turrible Gear Hall of Fame

May 9, 2008

The media went nuts today when Barack Obama rocked jeans for the first time even on the campaign trail.

I like how he busted out the Jet/Ebony male one leg up pose on it. So of course we had to make sure he stayed off of the ARod and MJ, Mom jeans program. After all, the leader of the free world can’t be caught slippin.

Nice, he keeps it respectable. Did you hear the screams in the video? I guess the Huffington Post has taken to calling the moment of ecstasy when a supporter erupts when in the presence of Barack the O-bama face. What does it look like?

and he makes the ladies go…

It looks like that. Brock…errrrrr…Barack drives the women crazy.


Guam Represent! Barack Wins!

May 3, 2008

My man Barack Obama just won Guam by a clean seven votes. Hell yeah to those seven people. You just saved us from Hillary extrapolating some ridiculous claim of superiority based on Guam. The worst part, those 4,500 votes in Guam count more than anything done in Michigan and Florida.

What do you call people from Guam, anyway? Guamanians? Guamish? Guamamammas? Guamericans?

Whatever, shout out to the Guelsh for holding it down.


Hillary and Obama Getting it On?

April 3, 2008

I know we dropped a lot of heat on you guys this morning, but you’ve got to watch this right now.

That is brilliant work. Props to whoever put this thing together. That look Obama gives her at the beginning is great.

I guess we should have seen it coming.


If you don’t recognize the source material, (that means you haven’t been one of US for long…) check it out here. And the response here.



Yooo, that’s perfect.  We need more Obama unnecessary censorship bleeps.  The way that cat says his own last name is nothing short of classic, “She bleeping O-bama”…  Maaayne, if ‘Bamer actually makes it black comedians are going to have a field day rocking the parodies.  Best thing I’ve seen all month…

– Lake

Is Hillary Serious with this Theme Song?

February 29, 2008

I know Hillary is pulling out all the stops for the campaign, but after Barack drops the hot Will.I.Am joint, Hillary comes back with this Latino flavored track.

Is it just me or did they jack that hook from the Dora the Explorer theme song? Also, is it authentic or racist that they had a cat sing the song with an accent so thick that her name came out “Hee-lary Cleeent-tawn”? You tell me.

Now you know Barack got the version that bumps in the club, right?

Como se dice…como se llama…Obama…Obama.


Hillary Clinton Needs Better Advice

February 20, 2008


Hillary Clinton is clearly being told she needs to give off more energy. In the last three weeks, especially as the race has gotten tight, Hillary has been working on trying to be “more exciting” because she is just screaming at the top of her lungs at this point. I mean it has gotten really bad.


Could it be more obvious? I mean how much more fake can it get?  Hilly Clint, let me tell you volume does not equal passion.  You can talk all you want about Barack Obama being “only” talk, but you are sure running around trying to catch his lightning in your bottle, aren’t you?  Speaking of plagiarism, anyone who has seen a Barack speech is familiar with his “Yes We Can” chant. Well, here is Hillary with “Yes We Will”.

Here’s Hillary Clinton’s “Yes We Will”

She gets to it right in the beginning…and it really doesn’t take off. Stay until the end when she screams herself hoarse. Yikes, that is just scary.

Of course, we’ve seen what happens when Barack says “Yes We Can”, musicians and celebrities put this together.


Hillary Clinton on the Ropes!

February 11, 2008

What a difference a week makes…Hillary Clinton’s former campaign manager was fired…errrrrrr...quit…was reassigned to “senior adviser” after Hillary got beat down over the weekend. Barack Obama took Louisiana, Nebraska, Washington, Maine, and the Virgin Islands. Not only did she already drop $5 Million of her own loot-cakes into the campaign last month, now Hillary looked up and just figured out that she might not get another win until March.


I know Hillary, you’re feeling a bit tired, huh?

On Tuesday, they go to battle in Virginia, Maryland, and DC. Now Murrrlan’ (shout to Raafman) is supposed to roll with Obama, and Virginia is supposed to be Hillary’s best shot. Now DC you better stand up, you know how DC rolls, right?


That’s right, DC’s gotta go a brother’s way.

HIllary saw what happened to Rudy G. Three weeks without a win could be a straight death blow. If Barack wins Texas, PA or Ohio in any combination he will be solidly in the lead. Speaking of the lead, I’m a CNN man, but I’m tired of them throwing “super delegates” into the count without explaining the fact that they are doing it. Without them, Obama is up by about 80, with them Clinton is up by 100. Fine if you count them, just show it both ways. People who aren’t paying attention might actually thin Hillary is winning.

The real gangster thing is that this is going to come down to the wire. Some people know what will happen at the convention if neither Obama or Clinton goes in with the correct number of votes, but don’t let the general American public find out that their vote really doesn’t count and that we are going to have a wild west style decision for the nominee. Not only that, but this guy is going to be leading the discussion.

We’re gonna count the delegates, and Obama, and Clinton, and Edwards, then we’re gonna cut a backroom deal, and one of them will be the nominee and the other will be Secretary of State! Yaaaaaaahhhhhh!



I guess someone at CNN reads Us Versus Them because those fools finally owned up to the fact that Obama is leading Clinton in pledged candidates and fully explaining how they are calculating their delegate count.  Not only that, but they actually say that their superdelegate count is ALSO AN ESTIMATE.  A step in the right direction, but they are still on the asshole list for the moment.