Posts Tagged ‘Atlanta Falcons’

Man Up Monday: Fantasy Football “Geniuses”

September 8, 2008

I just want to start off by saying I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.  I could barely sleep last night, stayed in all day.  Only instead of toys, turkey and Christmas lights, I broke out the mini keg of Bell’s Oberon and rocked the homemade wings (buffalo and lemon pepper with a side of blue cheese) and fired up this HD NFL Sunday Ticket (rocking the main game on the projector with the “game mix” on the side with all the other games running simultaneously.)  My man cave is real.  The NFL is back.

And it is already great.  My Falcons and Michael Turner drug the hell out of the Detroit Lions.  Carolina came down to the wire.  T.O. had a crazy almost lost it behind his back catch, and my fantasy squad just broke the 100 point barrier to lead all teams.  Oh! Bears defensive TD!  Killing these fools.  Anyway, for those of you who follow Fantasy Football, the big prediction this year was that the traditional running back era was over and the the QB gives the best value in this years draft.  You see, normally running backs are the best fantasy players, they score the most touchdowns, they get the ball 25-30 times a game, and they end up being pretty durable.  This year, because Tom Brady and Randy Moss went wild, everyone said Brady was an early first rounder, as high as 3, he went 5 in my league.  They were also pumping Romo and Moss as other first rounders.  Well, here’s the risk with taking an early QB:

Brady may be out for the entire season with a knee injury which will kill the Patriots season.  Did I mention I picked last?  That means that although I didn’t want to, I ended up with Randy Moss and Peyton Manning in the first two rounds?  Who were my running backs?  Well for one, I got Michael Turner in the 3rd round…and he killed it today.  Oh and to the rest of the cats in my league, don’t even bother looking for Matt Cassel on Wednesday, my #1 waiver wire position puts him on my squad.  Thanks.

So now the Patriots season, and all those fantasy geniuses who just killed thousands of fantasy squads probably feel a lot like this:

So all the pros need to go back to the drawing board on trying to break out of tradition.  Oh, and everyone in my league better watch out.  I’m picking up right where I left off last year, dominating.

So to all the Fantasy prognosticators, to the New England Patriots, to Matt Cassel, to my man H. Larry who somehow inexplicably ended up with Tom Brady, Rudi Johnson and Vince Young, to the squad who would have beat every team in the league this week other than mine…MAN UP!  HAAAAAAAA!

-Brock the Week One Champ

Arthur Blank is an Asshole

December 13, 2007

Check this interview with Arthur Blank, owner of the Falcons last night when asked to talk about Michael Vick’s opportunity to come back to the Falcons.

Did he say the only thing that could hold him back was Fried Chicken and Fries? Damn, tell us what you really think. I guess watermelon is cool since it is fruit, huh? Should he stay away from government cheese and rap music too?

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In his half baked apology, some PR hack said that Blank was referring to all fatty, unhealthy foods, using Fried Chicken as an example. Yeah, thanks Fuzzy Zoeller. Look, here are some words you should never use when discussing Black people. Fried Chicken. Watermelon. Monkey or simian of any type. Boy. Nappy Headed Hoes. Afro AmericanNi**er.

While we are on the subject, the Falcons are a damn debacle at this point.

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How does a NFL coach just tap with two games left in the season after getting drug on national TV by a mediocre New Orleans Saints team? It can’t wait two weeks? Arkansas isn’t going to pull down a five star quarterback about to sign with USC because Bobby Petrino is the new coach.

It will be 2011 before the Falcons are scheduled to play on Monday night again. Dammit!

-Brock