Posts Tagged ‘ass whoopin’

Rudy Giuliani – Now You Know You Done Fucked Up, Right?

January 29, 2008

Oh Rudy. You thought you were going to out thinkerate the system with a little trickeration, huh? Well it looks like the joke is on you. I don’t know what political genius lined up your strategy to skip the entire first month of voting, effectively making you disappear from the national scene, but whoever it is deserves a crisp asswhoopin’ tonight.

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You’re gonna need a big hug tonight when the headline reads “Now entering the race, Rudy Giuliani, now leaving the race Rudy Giuliani”. I mean you came and left the race faster than a cat who logs into IM and sees someone they don’t want to talk to. (Accompanied by that classic door swinging open then immediately slamming shut sound)

After seeing a Rudy that is this big of a loser, I need a Rudy who is a winner to cheer me up. Interns, cue my clip!

More later once this debacle is final.

-Brock

===========UPDATE===========

Damn, Rudy just dropped out of the race and endorsed McCain.  Thanks for coming homey, you spent just about as much time campaigning as Lake did.  I know your entire White House bid was based on the assumption that you’d keep America safe from terrorists.  Only, I didn’t feel so safe knowing that my “savior” was willing to wear a damn dress.

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Sorry, that was just a bad move all around.  Not even Hillary looks this bitchy in pink.  Then you went ahead and endorsed McCain?  On what grounds?  I know Mitt won’t like that.  Still posturing for that Vice President position I guess.  Hey, you never know.. NY is a big state and you’ve got traction in “the city”.  I wonder when Huck will drop out, you know it’s coming.  President McCain, nah….doesn’t sound right.

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Definitely don’t look right.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, Episode 4 roundup – Crazy!

October 31, 2007

If you can’t tell already, I watch a hella lot of tv. That includes my daily diet of sports, reality tv, politics, crime dramas, nonsense, football de telemundo and romantic comedies. Yes, tivo has destroyed my life. Anyway, so I’m watching Tila Tequila on A Shot at Love, LIVE, which is crazy for me since I hate commercials, but that’s just how good this show has been to me. I can’t miss it.

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I’m watching Episode 4 thinking about what I’m going to write on the blog about it and I must say, at first, I’m a little disappointed (that would change as the show progressed). Initially, I figured that the show this week had degenerated into:

  • One part predictable “battle of the sexes” (which I understand and expect),
  • Two parts buck naked Tila Tequila/barely dressed up in some crazy outfit (incidentally, it’s pretty crazy how good this chick looks in each different outfit).

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Again, I can deal with that format, but it just doesn’t give me exactly everything I need. I’m a purist. Give me a protagonist. Give me an antagonist. Give me a chick who lies and conjures up some silly faux persona where she acts like she’s 1. a lesbian, 2. a virgin ;), and 3. “innocent.”

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Oh yeah, we’ve already been given that chick. And just peep the look in her eye, then pan down. “Ashli, Kelly not guil-tee.”

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This chick Ashli (not to be confused with the nutso dude named Ashley) is clearly a fraud and quite frankly, I won’t stand for it. It’s not that I don’t like a tv fraud, hell, I love them. But if you’re going to be a fraud, be one by saying you’re wild, crazy, promiscuous and ohhhh dangerous. Don’t come on here acting like you’re some random good girl black chick from Jersey (everyone knows there are NO virgins in Jersey, uuuh, bridge and tunnel), with double D’s and ass who has never been gotten at. Believe you me, that chick is NOT a virgin…not by a mile.

Anyway, the show was fine, standard foolishness and then they had eliminations and that’s when this fool Ashley, a dude, got to wildin out! Peep the video.

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(If you can imagine it, this cat is actually wilder than he looks, he’s NUTS and worse yet, he’s “Likes to Fight guy”)

Tila iced him out, didn’t really say why, just hit him with that weird accent she has, “your shot at love is over,” she must be a Cali chick. Anyway, this fool starts twitching and back peddling to point out all the losers (who by the way made it further than he did) and why she will eventually realize that she made a mistake. Ha.

Anyway, while he’s shitting on all his former buddies, one of the cats he’s completely dissing to their face named Bobby makes the mistake of saying, “F- off” or something like that.. Um, big time mistake. Big boy, with the cat ass name goes OFF!! Check this shit out right here, it’s classic trash tv and HILARIOUS to a cat like me. I mean, this fool had a sadistic look on his face and one thing is for sure, dude was 100% serious.

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The cat just started strangling Bobby, a cat that to this point has gotten zero pub on the show, and then he wouldn’t let go!! Bottom line, Bobby ends up in a damn ambulance (lol).

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And Ashley ends his night outside yelling like a bootleg and bullshit ass Marlon Brando in some bastard production of A Street Car Named Desire on some ole…..”Tila. Teeee-la… Teeeeeeea-laaaaaaaaaaah!!!”HAAAAA

Dude, it was so good. And then when nobody came to get him, he was just out there kicking over potted plants, ripping leaves off trees and talking shit about how he wants another piece of Bobby (what was left of him). Ha. It was classic.

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What a great show. Sex, lies, violence oh and now we’ve got video tape. A loyal reader, Chris in South Carolina, just sent over a link to a video he claims is an ahem authentic Tila Tequila adult film. I “reviewed” a portion of the “film” and I have three comments.

Comment 1. This alleged Tila Tequila porn tape is really aggressive and definitely NSFW, so just know that before you click on it. Hell, if that was Tila doing ahem, those things, I can see why ole Ashley was fighting, kicking inanimate objects and defacing foliage.

Comment 2. The woman on the tape definitely looks like Tila.

Comment 3. Sadly, it’s probably not her. I just feel like a tape like this would be a known commodity on the web by now if it were truly a Tila Tequila sex tape. Hey, you decide. As always, I never look at these tapes and find them morally objectionable like a Republican in a bathroom stall. Out.

– low lake