Posts Tagged ‘Angel Lola Luv’

Are You Gellin’? The Kardashian Arse Debate Rages On

June 12, 2008

If you’re a loyal reader of UvT you know there has been a crazy debate about Kim K’s ass in the comments section.

A self described and admitted ass geller (lol) “Zsa Zsa Cookie” told us that she knows Kardashian’s ass is not real. She further alleges that Kardashian’s dumper is filled up with the same substance, ass-a-licious love gel, that she put into her very own ass to give herself that synthetic thunder.

I shit you not. And then, she commanded me to google that “Hydrogel Butt Injections” to prove her point. Well, sheeeit, as a committed life long learner, you know her will I did obey and what I learnt astonished me. WOW.. There really is some wild chick flying around the country, selling bagged up ass to the highest bidder! What is this, some kind of bastardized Robin Hood, rob from the lab, give to the needy stripper? And it appears that dat ass is selling like HOE CAKES!!! Dude, I’m like my boy Will from the comments, if the ass gel is so good and so effective in the fight against negative arse-ness, why doesn’t everyone have it? Or do they?

Right and that’s when you start to feel those walls closing in on you. I mean, could you have been hittin gel for all these years and not even know it? If you were running your hands through Barbaro Mane for the better part of your adult life, why not?

Just as an aside, don’t you love how they make the broad so miserable in the “before” pic? I mean, she aint got no lip chap, is in desperate need of Proactiv and from the looks of it just got popped for trying to lift condoms from her local 7-11. I mean, basically they give you a mug shot, right? Then it’s weave time and everything changes. Suddenly our convicted felon has the custom fit and feel of Aubrey from Making the Band. And yes, I’ll resist expounding on Aubrey….this time.

Yo, I’m here to say that I can’t tell you if Kimmy K’s ass is gellin’ like magellean, ok? Lola Luv’s neither.

What I can tell you is that they’re both banging like a benzy and just like Mario Winans, I don’t wanna know. I mean, if you’re gellin, keep it on the lo.

Dude, let’s just try to put that crazy Angel Lola Luv arse into perspective.

I mean, it’s just hilarious to actually think for a microsecond that such an ass could even possibly be “real”. I mean, come on. Has ANYONE seen a body like that? Fine, I’ve seen asses that big, but they’re attached to a regulation sized lower back, a skrong thigh and study calf. I mean, could her shit be any more out of proportion?

I just don’t have that kind of expertise, but the ladies in the comments sections, some that have first ass errr hand knowledge of today’s technology, swear up and down that her ass (and Kimmy K’s) is as phony as a $3 bill.

Man, I hate this shit. It’s like when I first learned that chicks had weaves. Dude, literally, I really didn’t know and I aint been right since! I mean, you can’t trust anything these days. Double D breass-tah-sis have to be looked upon with suspicion, sub prime mortgage backed securities got my 401k actin’ a bitch, Jello allegedly has swine hoof in it (that’s why it’s so good?), and Petro costs $5 a gallon!!! I can’t trust long silky hair without a background check and two witnesses from the hairdressers. 1 in 4 mufuckas in NYC have herpes and now ass aint even ass! Seriously, this is what you call Lake Arlington hell. Forget the culture wars, can a nilla get a honest and wholesome table dance?

Oh yes, it’s all fucked up.

– Lake

Asymmetrically Thick Chick: Angel Lola Luv

December 10, 2007

Just when you thought you understood all the asses out there, another one pops right up in your face. We almost forgot the Asymmetrically Thick Chick!


That tail is so stacked that it just started to give up on itself at the bottom. Dude, I want to say that her ass is like Medusa, meaning that you look at it and you’re just stone faced and can’t look away and of course that’s true, but it’s more than that. This joint reminds me of the tractor beam from Star Trek days. You look at it, it scares you, but A. You’re intrigued as to what’s to come and B. You just can’t help but be drawn into it. It’s like Pookie said in New Jack City, “it just be calling me, man, I got to go to it.” I mean, look at this chick at a standard party.


Ok, all this pic does is set up the outfit, oh and do you see ole girl right there in the purple? I mean, what are those jeans made of, elastic? Just look at the manipulation of that denim. It’s insane. Look at the belt just holding on for dear life….hating itself and loving the experience all at once. I’ll tell you one thing, that belt aint gonna last for long. Who is that chick, a fellow video uhhh “vixen”?


Ole boy in the white shirt has the right idea. I know exactly what he’s thinking. “I can’t stop looking at this chick in the pretty pank’s ass, but at the same time, I can’t just stare at it all night long.. So I’ll just make sure I know where she is all night long so I can get about 46 to 53 views before the night is done.” I’m with you brother. That’s a good strategy.


I think Lil Jon said it best, “WHAT?” Yeah, this chick redefines the concept of a “low rider.”

She certainly wasn’t mentioned in Brock’s Assology piece, but now we see that even a cat with a Ph.D in the posterior needs to become a lifelong learner. Well, I’m not being fair, we really didn’t forget her. The Asymmetric Ones are just always poorly represented by used-to-be physical freaks of nature, turned semi big girl. A perfect example of that, of course, is Flavor of Love 2 star Deelishis.


Yeah, I thumbnailed her because I aint letting her ruin my beautiful post with her “bootyful azz.” (NSFW joint here) And no, by calling her “bootyful” I am NOT giving her a compliment. At any rate, at one point, I’m sure Deelishis was a 19 year old phenom with an unbeatable frame. Truth be told, chicks with bodies like this just can’t afford to carry any extra weight and still look like a homo sapien. They’re already something out of freaky science fiction movie, but when you add extra meat to a chick who is already 36-22-40 (!) you’re just moving into a realm only seedy porn directors have ever fathomed.

Now I say this, but let’s face it, if you have the Asymmetrical ass on the Asymmetrical body, and studies have shown this, you are 30 times more likely to have a kid before the age of 23. That means you’re guaranteed to gain weight. Now, as you gain that weight, there will still be thousands of dudes who will continue to holler at you just for a chance to ride that thing and a few hundred who like you ever more because of the weight gain. Oh they’re out there alright. That’s the kind of dude who looks at this chick, turns to his boy and says, “did you see that ass?” Terrible. Back to nature’s goodness, airbrush style.


Bang. I’m not sure how you airbrush the jeans, but these cats did. Let’s go anti-airbrush to understand that this chick is the truth.


I’m not much of a visible ass crack outfit guy, but please note that this babe has a beautiful face, breasts, hair, mind, inner chi and soul… Damn. Let’s get the cell phone cam angle.


Yikes, intern, hit me with an interpretational, artistic, but I’m still a freak booty ho…angle.



At any rate, we’re lucky to have an Asymmetrically thick chick in her prime and her name is Angel Lola Luv. Looking at these pictures brings me back to that look on Nino Brown’s face in New Jack City when he first saw Uniqua. LOL


What do yall think? Fake Js or not. I know, I know, they gotta be fake, but you’d think that arse was fake too. I own know. They are sittin on high, but not in a grotesquely unreal kind of way.


I love the airbrush.. Dude, I could errr will post pics of this babe all day.


Last one.


I’d be willing to bet she’s got brains but that body is stupid. Later.

– Lake