Posts Tagged ‘Alicia Sacramone’

UvT Olympics Update

August 19, 2008

I don’t know if my Tivo ain’t hittin’ right, or if there really isn’t anything on anywhere else in the world other than these Olympics on NBC, but ever since Michael Phelps and gymnastics ended, the Olympics aren’t giving me much anymore.  Honestly, I was in a sports bar this weekend getting my fantasy football on, and we ended up with Olympic trampoline (why is that a sport?) and rowing (ditto).  So here’s a quick recap.

First of all it did me proud to see Cullen Jones in the water in the swimming competition.  Sure, the kid almost drowned when he was 5, but he fought against nature to become a gold medal winning swimmer.  It meant a lot to me, especially since the last time I saw a brother in an Olympic pool, this is how it went down.

Now see, that is why brothers don’t swim right there.  Sure, he was representing Equatorial Guinea but somehow that still ain’t right.  He must be the only brother who can swim at all in E.G.  I need to get my Equatorial Guinea citizenship tight so I can go on ahead and get into those 2012 London games.

Next, you all know Brock loves the gymnasties.  She may have busted her ass and lost the gold, but she wins the UvT gold medal for actually looking like a grown woman during the gymnastics competition.

Holla if you hear me girl.  I know, I know, Be On It, she’s not that good looking.  At least she’s not a Blonde, right?  She’s just the best available.  Her body is just in shape.

You gotta love a chick who goes for the reverse crease.  She doesn’t even go with the traditional ass crease, she goes ahead and drops it in the front.  Hilarious.  Look, the lady even looks reasonable in street clothes.

You know what though.  None of that makes her UvT quality.  Okay, some of that does.  But here is what really tipped the scales.

Daaaaamn.  I know old boy didn’t want to go out like that.  But that is what you get for letting a girl, hell letting anyone, who can probably do handstand pushups hit you square in the jaw.  My man dropped like a pile of bricks.  He can’t be that tall if Alicia was looking him dead in the eye.  That is that big, small man problem there.  Trying to be tough.  Now 788,000 people saw him get knocked out cold.  Great.

You know, now Olympic recap is complete without the men of the Olympics.  The ladies of UvT, have been clamoring for it.  Threatening a boycott.  Invoking Title IX.  Hating on Amanda Cicchini.  So we did the right thing.  We took a closer look at the Olympics, trying to find out what the ladies like.  What is that?  I mean I know I like tight tails and thick thighs.  Do the ladies like skrong arms?  Broad shoulders?  Hey, I don’t want to get too deep into our research techniques.  So here’s a little something for the ladies.  These guys are strong, dressed in tight gear.  Willing to show it all off.  Some of the greatest Olympians ever.

Olympic Super heavyweight wrestlers.  Enjoy ladies.  Don’t say I never did anything for you.

Ha!

-Brock