Posts Tagged ‘A Shot at Love’

Thick Sorta-Rican, Likely Asian Woman: Tila Tequila Got Ass?

August 20, 2008

You know we try to keep an eye out for unexpected arse and thickness.  I mean, sometimes it just jumps up out of nowhere.  Remember the Badu sightings of ’07?

Ahhh, yes, it’s like where were you on 9/11.  Discovery of dat ass was truly a defining moment for me and I remember it well.  Honestly, just for context, look at what that clown mirror ass looks like from the side, found below, and just ask yourself what the composition of that tail must be like up close and personal.

Seriously, ponder that.  HARD STOP.

Moving on.  What about that thing that jumped up and attached itself to Angela Simmons?

That was so crazy that the only supporting evidence we could find to verify its legitimacy was the fact that Bow Wow was supposedly hitting.  Well, here’s another one.  Peep Tila Tequila’s act:

Say what?  What the farg am I looking at?  Oh wait now, I’mma need me an angle two on that!

Daaaaaayum.  Tila is thicker than a mug!  Had I known this I wouldn’t have stood still while she hooked up that “I kissed a girl and I liked it, taste of her cherry chap stick” special on her show.  Sheeeit, I like this.  Let’s go ahead and just make this an “All Tila’s Undiscovered Ass” kinda day:

Saaaaay whuuuuud?!  Damn, what three inches of rotation can do!  Blasted cameramen!  Curse-ed Lycra!  Now see.  Let that be a lesson to you budding Assologists out there.  My grandpappy warned me of fools tail like this.  He said, “Boy, believe half of what you see and this chick here!!!”  Or something like that.  Stuck with me to this day.  Oh well, at least we’ll always have those Tila NSFW pics.  Peace.

– Lake

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila: Episode 5 roundup

November 8, 2007

Ok, so I heard that Tila won’t be starring in the next show in the A Shot at Love series.

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Some of the news outlets said she was “fired” because she wouldn’t be in A Shot at Love 2. Tila said that it wasn’t true and that she just found true love. Well, from watching this last less than stimulating episode, I think that sadly that may be true.

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Well, I can accept that I guess. It’s probably more about the same way I feel writing this blog: at some point, there but so many pictures of Tila’s boobs, ass and face you can show until it gets tired.

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(or not, NSFW)

Moreover, unlike Flavor Flav and New York aka Tiffany Pollard, Tila actually seems like a reasonably sane person. Translation, she’s not all that good for Reality TV. I wonder who they’ll put up there next. You’d think it’s gotta be someone who likes guys and girls and it must be a woman at the center because I haven’t met a woman yet who thinks it’s cool that her man likes man on man love. Stay tuned to see who is the central figure in A Shot at Love 2, Hoes Return.

Anyway, off to the episode. So Tila had them do a standard silly “challenge” this time it was to wash off the car provocatively.

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(There was a little too much man rubbed up on machine if you ask me)

I thought I saw this one on Next, so you know it wasn’t original or entertaining. Of course, again, she had the dudes in speedos just to put them out there on that “open to anything” sexuality tip. Then they hit a spa where the dudes had to get waxed up. Oh yes and this clown volunteered to do his legs (ugh), arse (yuh!) and ahem balls (Aaaaargh!!!)…

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(And no this is not a filler pic. This is literally the screen cap of dude getting his stones sanded, yikes)

Yes, his family jewels got waxed and not in a good way.

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Terrible. Again, as I’m watching the show I’m wondering, has this thing finally ran out of gas? All this talk about people’s feelings and real relationships. Who wants to hear about that? At any rate, two of the chicks got into a chick fight, which apparently goes on into the next show.

Now one of these babes is damn fine (and when I say fine I’m talking about her crazy body). Her name is Vanessa and she’s already done some oil rubbing and pole straddling errr modeling for Maxim. Peep it.

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(Vanessa is in the middle)

The other one, Brandi, is one ham sandwhich and a catcher’s mitt away from becoming softball girl, which is something like Brock’s Sponge Bob Square ass, just all over.

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(Though I must admit it’s looking like she slathered some HGH across her chest piece b/c that upper body is lookin fit son!)

Basically those chicks look like flesh covered freezers. You know the kind you kept in the garage growing up? Just terrible. So one chick is tight and fine and the other one is big and brawny…

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You know what that means. Eyeeeee gotta feeeeeel-in that somebody who is hotter, sexier and smaller is about to catch a serious ass whoopin. Too bad I couldn’t catch any better pics of ole girl’s body, it’s official. Oh now wait a second, this just in.. Here is a video with Vanessa from some Maxim shoot. Check the babe out for yourselves.

Anyway, the fake virgin black chick and num nuts (meaning that idiot who waxed his balls) got sent off, basically for being wack. Hopefully next week’s show will pack more of a punch. We need some threesome action right away to save this show from itself. Shit, maybe the writers really are on strike.  Oh well, here is another NSFW pic of Tila to make us all feel better.

-Lake