Archive for the ‘Nude photos’ Category

Damn, Audrina From The Hills Is Naked Too

March 20, 2008

Hey, I’m one of the most liberal minded, “hoes gotta eat too” type cats you’ll ever meet. I mean, I’m not for these religious freaks running around telling everyone how they should dress, live, or conduct their affairs in the privacy of their own bedrooms. With that said, we got a lot of wild ass whorishness running around here. I mean, I can’t type as fast as these sex tapes, prostitutions scandals and nude pics are getting generated. This time it’s Audrina from the Hills.

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I said before that I thought she had that “porno chick appeal,” little did I know, baby girl was trying to sell off her soft porn material.

“I took these photos years ago when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I was young and very trusting of others and I didn’t know to protect myself. It is a lesson learned, for myself, and hopefully for the young girls who look up to me,” she says.Damn, does anybody keep their clothes on?

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Incidentally, here’s the link to the completely NSFW shots. I mean, these pictures were staged too. I thought The Hills chicks were supposed to be from high society families with money. Why was this chick laying down for a skin rag when she was 18? What, college was too boring? Damn. And worst of all, word on the street is that Playboy and the other rags wanted nothing to do with this chick. Maybe it’s because she’s got Aubrey O’Day syndrome. Too much make-up, too much bottle tan, wild hair and just overall not hot. If I want to see a chick in stripper gear, I’ll go to a skrip club with the professionals. Terrible.

Kristin Davis: “Caught Me On Camera, Waddent Me”

March 19, 2008

Charlotte says it aint here in those pictures.

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Meanwhile all the buzz around the internet says that they’re real. I don’t know. All I can say is that it looks like her, dead up.

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At any rate, more of those pictures (about 14 in all) that she claims are not her have surfaced. Supposedly they are just still shots. Anyway, I refuse to look at this sort of thing, but if you want to they’re all very NSFW and they’re all RIGHT HERE.

– Lake

Sex Tape and the City

March 18, 2008

UPDATE:  Check out what Kristin’s camp has to say about the alleged sex tape and get the link for the new pictures right HERE.

Anyone who watched “Sex and The City” knows that at times, Charlotte was pretty much a hizzoe.

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She’s working that dress though.

Remember during the first episode when she was propositioned about whether she’d give up the back door with her only reasonable objection coming in the form of “I’m not a hole, what is this, I went to Smith!”…. Exactly. Smith indeed, which is why ole boy was trying to go back door because he knows how wild those all girls school chicks can be (Wellesley, we see ya)! What about the time she was that terrible rock star’s groupie? I think he hit in the limo or something, right?

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Damn, I guess Kristin Davis isn’t Charlotte, because C would have never given up the see-through J with the spread leg to boot. Wow, I really liked that more than I thought I would.

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Anyway, Charlotte was the most prim and proper babe within the crew, but on the low, she was also the biggest freak. Who could forget, after all, that true-to-life and painted to scale cavernous vagina artwork ole boy hooked up in honor of her. Anyway, Kristin Davis always said that she was much wilder and free-spirited than Charlotte. Well, clearly she wasn’t lying because just in time for the pub surrounding the Sex and The City Movie is the pub around this Kristin Davis aka Charlotte York sex tape! And from the looks of if, Schooner (also known as the world’s worst phallic symbol) isn’t even bothering to worry about Rebecca (shouts to Be On It). Check out this alleged screen cap from the tape that’s supposedly being shopped around right now:

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Daaaaayum homey. And yes, you’re seeing precisely what you think you’re seeing. And if you want to get real deal uncensored, NSFW joint, you know Lake n Bake has it. Aint peeped it myself of course, don’t recommend you do, but it’s right HERE in case you feel like you just gotta get that real deal peep for yourself. And supposedly there are more screencaps coming right HERE.

I know, I know, it’s not Kristin, just a babe who looks EXACTLY like her. Hey, in my estimation, at least 50% of these Hollywood stars have a sex tape out there somewhere, why not Charlotte?

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Damn, didn’t know Ms. McDougal could bring it like that. Now see, this is a perfect example of why women don’t need to upgrade that J into a higher cup. Just work what you got and everything will blend in perfectly. Kristin looks great by the way and Trey couldn’t hit…terrible.

Besides, on account that she was by far the most hittable chick within the group, I choose to believe this tape is authentic until I learn otherwise. I can only assume that the hottness disparity is even more stark now that the Golden Girls have been on the shelf for a clean 5 or so years. Let’s face it, they were getting a bit long in the tooth even back when…

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I know, I know, what kind of man watches Sex and The City, but talks tough on all these other topics? I’ll tell you who, the kind of dude who has range and thus, has consistently been able to target and slay assorted tail since cats referred to it as “hittin skins” back in the days of yore…that’s who.

– Lake

Indiana Hoops fans finally have something to smile about

March 6, 2008

No, it’s not the hoops team, it’s this news we got about this IU student/cheerleader with a perfect body who went ahead and took all her clothes off. We didn’t really comment on the whole Kelvin Sampson debacle because the whole thing seemed pretty silly to us. I mean, yes, dude was an idiot for making all those illegal calls, especially after he got busted at Oklahoma, but there are far worse things you can do in recruiting and life than lob a few kids too many phone calls.

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Anyway, it’s no surprise that Indiana Basketball fans have been pretty down right now. Eric Gordon is a guaranteed one and done, DJ White is graduating and the coaching situation there hasn’t been right since the late 90’s. As such, we figured we’d do something to cheer you guys up like highlight one of your own… Yep, not since Jimmy Chitwood hit that final shot in Hoosiers have I been this excited about an Indiana native. Not only that but this babe is a hot cheer leading butter face who happens to have the best body I’ve seen in all of 2008. We’ll start slowly. Here’s the whole squad.

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Butterface credentials please:

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I know, I know, completely useless. I mean, you see some potential talent around that IU symbol, but nothing to break your stride over…right? That is, until you get a little more body and place her right next to a stand issue, probably 8 to 12 pounds too heavy, IU cheerleader that we otherwise have absolutely no use for:

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Very nice and that shade of crimson really brings out the definition in that waist to ass ratio.

Then for some reason that we don’t know or really care about, this same babe started taking her clothes off. Uhh, they don’t call it a butterface for nothing. On this chick, EVERYTHING looks GREAT But Her Face! Peep it.
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Let me guess, she works out. Now from what we can see (or as you will see later), everything is real. Let’s face it, that chest, to waist to tail ratio is off the meters:

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Even Kelvin got it. Damn, ladies, first off, someone call KFC. Secondly, this babe is proof that if you build it, they definitely will come.

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Damn.

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Now we know the real reason why Eric Gordon switched schools.

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My question is who’s the cat on the camera. You know he’s blazing this babe. I wonder if there’s any information we missed:

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Right, predictably the babe is crazy flexible too. Would you look at those thighs? And the clear stripper heels are a nice touch. Look, what isn’t conveyed though these semi safe for work pics is how dope her top game is. This babe has a perfect rack piece. I mean, this is definitely what Kelly Rowland was looking for when she threw those full C’s on herself. If you want to check those out and plenty of others, you can find the NSFW joints HERE.

Go Hoosiers…?

– Lake

Top Chef: I Like What They’re Cookin…

March 3, 2008

Look, I know talking about Top Chef is a big departure for us here at UvT. No one knows that better than me, just bear with me here. So they just got a new host…I know what you’re thinking, boring…right?  Well check out the new host, Padma Lakshmi.

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Uhhhh, on the right…not fake Kojak.  Sure, I know what you are thinking, just another hollywood model that strutted out there as eye candy.  Probably doesn’t know how to cook, and on a cooking show, she’s probably not really that not anyway.  Let’s take a closer look.

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Well damn.  As The Rock would say, I can smell what Padma is cookin’.  It looks like she specializes in melons, cakes and hams.  I thought chefs ended up tasting all the food and looking like this.  Let’s see what else Padma’s working with.

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I mean my word.  Lake is going to go nuts when he sees this chick.  In fact, he’s really gonna go nuts when he finds out she has a bunch of NSFW, nude…errrrrrr…artistic photos.  If you are at your job bright and early this Monday morning, do not click here.  If not, hell, click away.

I’ll tell you this, I’ve got a whole new respect for Salman Rushdie.  I thought her was just another interpretational author, but his pimp game must be tight, because he bagged Padma as the wife piece.  I mean look at this guy:

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I mean, he must have some old Bishop Magic Don Juan type game to have pulled her down.

I know there are a lot of Food Network fans out there.  Of course there are some Giada DeLaurentis guys. There are also some pre-swole Rachel Ray guys.

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That is some phantom thickness right there. It can’t be all right.

-Brock

International Pimp of the Year: Edison Chen!

February 21, 2008

With all this talk about sex tapes out there, I figured that we should highlight the true king of the international players. His name is Edison Chen.

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Talk about a playa from the Himalayas, not only did this cat slay like every single Hong Kong starlet, he got them all on camera giving him hizzead!! I mean, really hitting them off like it was some jerk jock from a small town High School football team, but these babes are among the best known chicks in all of Hong Kong entertainment and high society.

And in case you’re wondering, they aint ugly. Here’s movie star and singer Cecelia Cheung:

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And here’s Cecelia Cheung Edison’s way (The other way – Marlo):

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Incidentally, this babe is a DIME!!! Jeez. Here’s Actress Bobo Chan one way:

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But young Edison hit it, flicked it and flipped it….the other way:

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And just so you know, it’s not that there aren’t other pictures…oh there are NSFW ones of Bobo Chan right HERE, and HERE it’s just that among the 85 shots this cat has of Bobo, this is literally the ONLY ONE I felt comfortable posting on my blog. Pimp or Die, Edison, PIMP OR DIE!!!!

Then we have the lovely and I do mean lovely Ms. Gillian Chung, the singer, writer, actress triple threat who looks like dis:

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Oh, that’s fierce baby, and dis:

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But my man Eddy had her like dis:

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And this:

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Then she held a presser apologizing for all this mess where she looked like this:

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Damn, even when she’s crying she looks good. I guess the Wu had it right after all.

I mean, the list goes on and on. Some babe named Vincy Chung, Rachel Ngan (by the way, why do they all have American sounding names?), Cathy Leung and some one named babe named Jolin. Oh I know what you’re thinking, “What about Candice Chan“.. Yes, he fucked her too…and he’s got it on film. Jeez, in fact, look, if you want all of this cat’s conquests, just go ahead and download the most recent compilation of all his NSFW pics Here. It’s literally a couple hundred shots of Hong Kong’s most sought after young starlets.

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It’d be like if Lake errr Justin Timberlake, who probably has banged out and taped all kinds of hot Hollywood stars, came out with pictures of Britney, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel (stop me any time when I’ve mentioned a chick Justin hasn’t hit.. got dammit!), Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton (gotta drop a lo one in there), Kim Kardashian (Justin had to hit that, right?), Rihanna (sorry, Ri, but if you can’t dance, you can’t cut) and Megan Fox. You name her and Edison has hit, taken and picture and dimed her out to the entire world.

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The only problem is that Edison actually did his job too well. See some wild computer technician jacked these pics from his PC when he took it in for maintenance (duh) and it had shots of high powered cat’s fiancee on there and influential business men’s daughters, too. Awwww, you mean there won’t be a happy ending? Ha.. damn, that was unintentional. Anyway, nah, Edison is now a marked man, hell, some wild Chinese mafia cat has placed $90,000 for anyone who can deliver one of Edison Chen’s hands to him.

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Maaaaayne, I don’t mess with them Asian thugs. They got that extra look in their eye.. It’s that old school thug twankle of yore that I want no parts of.. Anyway, it seems that Edison wants no parts of it either. Homey went ahead and RETIRED because of this. Peep his rhetoric:

Damn, Edison sounds like a white boy from Exeter. I’m not saying I expected a hot voice over ala Bruce Lee, but he could have at least given me an accent to add to the drama. Oh I see, Edison is Canadian-Chinese, nice. Damn, Eddie, I know some more pics came out with you and some chick named Kira, but stay strong bro. Just look at it this way, you’ll go down in history as the biggest Asian pimp to ever run game. I mean, you had them all and now everybody knows it. Just keep your hands to yourself and you’ll live to pimp again.

Oh and by the way, I’ve taken the liberty of attaching this NSFW video with some of Edison’s work. DO NOT CLICK THIS IF YOU ARE AT WORK. It starts off slow and takes some time to load, but it picks up later and gets very aggressive toward the middle and end. Enjoy.

Vodpod videos no longer available. from uberclip.com

Pimp or Die baby….

– Lake

They say Vanessa Hudgens has a Sex Tape

February 21, 2008

It’s been rumored since the nude pics of Vanessa first hit the net, but now some internet outlets claim to have possession of a cell phone recorded Vanessa Hudgens Christmas sex tape.

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Aww, don’t tell me she went ahead and really rocked those Christmas Boots ala H-Town. Then again, from the look of her expression, I bet there’s more than just a Christmas tape floating around. Baby girl has the look of a certified freak.

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Very nice. I must say, I am enjoying the arch of her career. She went from a chick I never heard of and didn’t care to know, to this:

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To a not safe for work legend in the game. Aww, what the heck, those NFSW pics are HERE.

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Anyway, we’ll keep a look out for this alleged sex tape. You’ll know as soon as we do.

– Lake

Why Not? Gene Simmons sex tape

February 20, 2008

Damn, I just knew the Sex Tape gods would send me some marvelous shit for Valentines Day, they always do. But I thought it would be Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan (though they did hook up the “artistic” pics) or Angel Lola Luv, but Gene Simmons?!?! Argh. The sex tape gods must be pissed off at me. Oh well.

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The best thing about this tape, I’m told (remember, I never watch these things) is that he hits it to Foreigner’s Classic anthem, “I Want to Know what Love Is,” LOL!!!! Now you know you’re really hittin some old school arse when you’re cuttin and some long hair from the 80’s starts lacing you with prophetic words that literally send you to that special place. I mean, the drama, the emotion. Oh yes, you’re hittin some righteous ass when you hear this classic build up:

In my life (!) theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

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I mean, is there a better song to cut to? It just says it all, “In MY LIFE had heart ache and pain,” meaning, I haven’t hit in a while and I need me some, “I can’t stop now, blah blah lonely niiiiiiiight.” LOL! And then, I mean, literally, we all just wanna know what love is and most of all, we want someone to show us. Jeez. Why haven’t I ever thought of this?

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Perfect. And yes, HERE is the link to the Not Safe For Work video of the actual cut session. Come on now, yall know I got your backs on this. Gene Simmons, an American original. Ha This sex tape phenomenon is getting a bit ridiculous. I mean, who’s next with their tape, Jerry Seinfeld? Hulk Hogan? LL Cool J? You know they’ve all got them. It’s just a matter of time until they come out. Ha.

Hitting to 80’s hair band slow ballads…what could be better than that?

– Lake

Thick white woman alert: Lindsay Lohan!!!!

February 19, 2008

If there was any question whether Lindsay Lohan was UvT quality, there isn’t anymore. Look at her homage to Marilyn Monroe in Playboy errrr the New York Magazine.

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“Click, click, HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!” (shameless, They Know reference)

Dude, this babe is really killing me right about now. Brock and I debated long and hard about the NSFW pictures in this group. While I want to post them dead up because I really don’t give a f*ck, I must show respeck to our readers at work who don’t want their boss rolling up on them with Lindsay Lohan’s J game suddenly overpowering whatever inane request they have of you. So we’ll link the more aggressive ones below, with the see through joints retained for their ahem artistic integrity. You know Lake loves art.

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Ummmm, since when did Lindsay roll down to her local KFC and order up all that thigh?!?! Jesus! She looks thick as shit in this fucking shot. Yo, I’m losing it over here… It’s like Mike Tyson said, “she’s just ferocious, she wants your heart, she wants to eat your children, praise be to Allah!!!!”

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Now see, Lake likes to keep it classy and if nothing else, this little Kappa curtain she’s got going is classy.. ha At any rate, there is a fine line to walk between white girl thick and doughy fat, but baby girl is nailing the thickness. More art!!!!

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Oh yessss. Now this piece truly inspired me and lord knows it’s one of my favorites in this collections. I’m not one for the whole concept of a chick being “sexy” but this babe just is. I mean, for real, she looks fantastic in these shots. I call this one:

“Useless Shower Curtain with Ridiculously enticing Breast Plate ‘pon Freckled and Speckled Thigh Piece.”

I want royalties. Look at the position of her hands. Look at the passion in her face, oh she knows her angles… I mean, the way she opens up and gives us this dead center and shows us the breasts Aubrey O’Day asked for when she got her cans enhanced, it’s just masterful. Brings a tear to my eye… or is that the weed smoke from my intern’s office? I can’t tell. Next.

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Ohh yeesssss. This one is indeed a doozy. the slight shoulder lean to the right gives us perspective on that J to stomach ratio we all love so much. Hey, this just in, she’s stacked!!! Looks like Grey Goose and a splash of Cranberry with two perfect tittays floating inside (the perfect drank actually). The mini boy shorts smack of a cheap times of yore, with draped fabric reminiscent of my Valentines Day packages I sent out to the millions and millions of Lake ladies out there.

I love it, all of it. And though I lacked the requisite heart to post up the fully nude joints. They are linked her for your attention and consumption. I love Lindsay Lohan. Clearly rehab does a body good.

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Lindsay Lohan Nude Shots Not Safe For Work (Click HERE).

Enjoy,

Lake

Paris Hilton Reconsidered: New Evidence

December 12, 2007

I know we’ve already questioned Paris Hilton and the very nature of her celebrity. We’ve asked if she was still hot, why she is famous, and how she keeps popping up in the news. We all know she really got famous once that sex tape hit the internet, and I don’t think anyone can even look at Paris Hilton without thinking of that room washed in the glow of night vision with those raccoon eyes staring back at you while getting bucked by old boy.

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Tell me I’m wrong.

Anyway, here is my problem with Paris. I know she’s not hot, she’s definitely not my type (body type that is, she’s definitely a freak and down for whatever, that in fact is my type) But then she breaks something like this out:

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Not I know she is physically airbrushed, then digitally airbrushed, then they obviously dropped her in the middle of some photoshop stock backdrops. This is the teaser ad for her new champagne, Rich Prosecco. Dammit I know it ain’t right, but once again once you’ve seen a chick get banged out, a picture of her butt naked with a look of ecstasy on her face makes this picture worth more than a thousand words.

I still don’t think she is UvT quality, but I appreciate the fact that she is stepping her game up.

In the battle of the body paint, I’m still going to have to go with Rihanna.

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Silky smooth right there.

-Brock