Archive for the ‘Making the Band 4’ Category

Making the Band 4, Season 2 Premiere

January 29, 2008

UPDATE:  Check out the Premiere of Season 3, The Tour, of Making the Band 4 HERE

UPDATE: Check out how Diddy hit Robert with that “Bitchassness” label in episode 2 HERE.

So like any true MTB4 fan, I went ahead and tuned into that Making the Band 4, Season two premiere last night.

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And even though it sounds cliche at this point, I gotta just say it, Diddy has done it again. I know some of you have tried to get on young Lake for giving Diddy too much credit, but really who else deserves the credit, Aubrey? Medium Mike? Nah, you’ve gotta have that slack jawed, part time curl, always sun glass covered, “got something for your face f*ck Pro-active” exterior in order to do this thing and the boy is an entertainment genius.

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One thing that did surprise me was how basic Diddy looked in that first scene. I mean, did this cat just come in from a morning jog or something? Take the sunglasses off this cat right here and you aren’t working with much. And what’s with that patch of unblended hair up above his left temple piece? What, homey doesn’t have access to a club brush? I need a bit better for the Premiere bro. Moving on. I love the show concept now that I’ve seen it in action. I mean, who wants to see 1 and 1/2 juicy cats (Willie and sometimes Q) and a bunch of “nice guys” make their album and then go on tour? That’s what was wrong with Da Band and their show, not enough charisma.

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Yeah, they were crazy as all hell, but they lacked that star quality. So what do you do? You bring back Danity Kane (still don’t quite get that name), Donnie and the rest of the fellas for an “album off”. It’s perfect. You get the subplots of the intra-band conflict, inter-band conflict and the omni present who’s gay, who’s not, and which dude is going to bang out which DK chick and under what circumstances? I love it.

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Speaking of the DK babes, let’s just talk about them some. First off, what the fuck is up with Aubrey? Man, the last time we saw ole girl she was young and flirtatious with a thing for every man that walked in the room. We all swore up in down that 1. Diddy was gonna hit (which he may have) and 2. that if given the chance, any of us reading the blog could probably hit too. That’s what was so good about her. Then she just started getting all arrogant and acting a damn fool.

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And no I don’t want to hear about your “friends” and how the paparazzi doesn’t print anything about your “two charities”. Two charities? Chick, you’re one bad single away from being a damn charity case yourself, what now you’ve got a foundation or something? What’s the cause, to help underprivileged trailer girls who have to make ends meet by selling their hair for your next weave? We all know how the game goes. You aint got no real money yet, nobody does based on their first album. Pleez. You think that Making the Band money is going to last your into the 2010’s and beyond? You’re just another thin blond chick with a decent face piece, some upgraded body parts and you should be happy to play any position MTV, Lake, Bad Boy, Diddy and yes, even the paparazzi give you.

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(Is that a pout or is that just her new surgically enhanced mug?)

I’m glad Puff set her straight with that little sitdown, but what the hell is with that highly suspect picture behind Aubrey’s right shoulder? Looks like two grown men, one of which may or may not be a homo thug, leaning up with a lil too much glee. Anyway, I also liked how Puff said, “baby gurl, if you change your eye color and it affects the group, I gotta problem with that”… haaaa, translation, “before you put those tittays on dubbs and injected that collagen into your new set of Angelina Joiles, you should have consulted me.” And of course he’s right. Diddy probably wants babes who give off the young, fresh and natural vibe like Aundrea, not that desperate cougar with too much make-up, too much weave and more work than a LA low-rider look Aubrey is going for. Baby girl, tone it down. You aren’t that hype.

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(I must say she looks good here though)

All that rhetoric in the limo about “do yall know who you’re riding with” and “we’re Danity muthafuckin Kane” was just awful. Stay in your lane baby and everything will be cool. Get out of pocket and you’ll be with the rest of the skanks at the Buffalo Jills dance team tryouts inside of 8 months. Moving on.

I liked what I saw from D. Woods. I must say, I haven’t been all that impressed by her in the past. I mean, sure she can sing and that’s important, but just didn’t get how she could make it in videos and on magazine covers. That is, until I saw this shot.

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Damn! That industry coca and champagne diet must really be doing it’s job. Or did she cop some HGH off Mary J and Timbo? Nah, if she did that then she’d look like this:

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(Lordy, those thighs lookin juicer than a Popeye’s two piece)

Damn, I never really put that picture in the lab like I should have. Jeez. Yall think Robert can handle that? Incidentally, I’m glad to hear no news of that old shat talking girl from before, June, wasn’t it? Glad to see ole Rob took my advice on that one. I don’t know, all I know is baby girl is looking trim in the middle and I like it. I could almost let her get away with that sideways mullet she’s rocking, but the business on the left, party on the right wig piece (at least I hope that’s a wig) just doesn’t work for me. Plus, it lets everyone know that she’s rocking a fade up underneath anyway. I can’t respect a chick who aint got more hair of her own than Brock does. I mean, at least lie to me, like Dawn for instance.

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Hmmm, now see. I like how Dawn came back. Beyonce weave, check… Make up done, check, a little extra effort on the tail piece, even if it’s just a back arch, check. I can’t lie, when she twirled around in tight white dress with the inappropriate white thong piece, I had to catch myself for a second.

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This budding relationship between Dawn and Q may have legs yet. I also appreciate it because it could finally take Q off “you’re gay” watch, something I’m eager to do.
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On the real, you can take all the hard yellow timbo boots with the beater and tats atop a baby grand all you want, but you gotta show me some things Q and I aint talking about in the booth youngin…knock it down and no I did not buy that “I wanna cut Lorrie Ann in that blue unitard” act you put on last season neither. That shit was terrible.

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Anyway, it was good to see Big errr Medium Mike back at it. I can’t lie, Diddy did need to set ole boy straight in the studio that one time as Mike has a tendency to treat every moment like he’s back on his front porch with his dog, Butch, just a crackin pecans and playin’ on his harmonica. Let me ask yall a question though, is Big Mike gonna bag a lady this season? I don’t know, he looked a little too reserved with the ladies at the club that night. I mean, you don’t have to cut a fool Mike, but you should show a little swag my man. Get up on Aundrea…grab a lock of Shannon’s painted on red hair. She could use the boost in energy. I mean, make something happen.

Finally, I’m not so sure about my man Donnie and his chances at stardom. Ok, apparently chicks dig his look, which I appreciate. I mean, Aubrey was doing more than break her neck for him and that was with the cameras rolling.

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You just know Donnie will or already has served Aubrey up a fresh plate of ass smackities. But I’m not so sure he’ll be hitting it right. All this shy guy foolishness, it’s just not working for me. Just like that high, but not quite right, Justin Timberlake impression he was doing in that booth wasn’t quite right.

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The jury is still out on Donnie, but he better bring it home for his countrymen.

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Lord knows they’ve got a lot riding on him. Enough for now.. If I didn’t mention this guy.

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This guy:

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Or that girl, there’s a reason for it. These people just need to step their game up or Diddy needs to do something to add spice. Still, the season looks very promising. I’m looking forward to it.

– Lake

============UPDATE=============

Check out the UvT review of Episode 2 right HERE.

Throw some Ds: Aubrey from Danity Kane

January 23, 2008

UPDATE:  CHECK OUT OUT NEW COVERAGE OF MAKING THE BAND 4, Season 2, Episode 1 right HERE.

Damn, remember when little Aubrey was just a sexy young girl with the smooth stomach and open mind trying to make Diddy’s band?

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Damn near precious. Don’t get me wrong now, all of us fellas knew she had that little freak in her waiting to get out, but damn, if that era was zero, then you have to regard her current look as 60.

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Got damn. I don’t mean to be vulgar but it looks like they literally just pulled the mic out of her mouth 2 seconds post checkin and snapped the picture while the emotion was still fresh in her mind and lip pieces. And what’s with those Js sitting on double Ds? My word, baby is packing the thunder up front like the Patriots offensive line all of a sudden. For real, if they had some “I am Legend” freaknasty adaptation, this babe and her vacant, all I do is cut look, would fit the bill of a sexed out zombie perfectly.

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It’s weird. I mean, I know that I like it, but I can’t tell how much. Damn homies, this shot doesn’t even look like her. Anyway, the enhanced cans were pretty predictable, actually. It was really all that was missing. Not getting that upgrade would be pretty shocking now that I think about it. Peep the old Aubrey from her first Blender spread:

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With the exception of that wildness she’s got hanging off her naval, I’m completely with it. It looks like Aubrey from Making the Band/Danity Kane not Christina Aguilera 2.0.

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Now I can’t lie.. I liked that shot. Smooth thigh, tight midsection, J coming out to the left, parsed lips for your consideration, freakiness in the eye and vacancy in the brain… Pretty good. I just wonder what influenced her to flow like this.

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Ahh, Kimmy K strikes again. Clearly she’s moving farther and father away from her supposed best friend Audrina who likes to keep it girl next door clean. At any rate, all of these developments are good stuff in light of the next installment of Making the Band 4. Word on the street is that the guys, Danity Kane and Donny will all be competing to make new albums. Yeah, it sounds pretty cheap but I’m quite sure it will have some cuttin’ for tracks by Aubrey and hatin’ from Robert’s on again off again lady who doesn’t like the idea of D. Woods near her man.

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Lady, I can’t lie, you’ve got a few things going on, but that “Drama King” line you hit Rob with back in the day, I just can’t ever forgive you for saying it or him for putting up with all that lip.. Sorry, you lost me on that one.

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Then you know there will be all types of “Is he gay is he not” shenanigans from Q and the supposedly married Brian A. I like the show concept in principle because of all the potential subplots, but we’ll see. Oh and for all you Brian H. fans out there, whatever happened to that burgeoning career yall were predicting after he got the Puff ax piece? Oh he hasn’t been signed yet? Naaaah…

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Maybe homey can come out with a new line of hair products for recovering dreads addicts called “Nu Cesar”… I don’t know. I just wonder where all these dread lock cats are working. Come on now, there aint that many IT jobs in America… 😉

– Lake

Making the Band 4: Diddy makes the band in the Live Finale

August 27, 2007

CHECK OUT OUT NEW COVERAGE OF MAKING THE BAND 4, Season 2, Episode 1 right HERE.

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Alright folks, so he made the damn thing. First let’s run down who actually made the band.

1. Robert

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No shocker here. Robert is crazy talented and brings plenty to the table. Nobody with a shred of common sense has him out of the band, except perhaps his lady, June, who was conspicuously absent from the crowd during the show. I guess he took my advice and dropped her after seeing how crazy she made him look on the show.

2. Willie

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Again, pro forma, you just had to have Willie in this band. He’s got the talent, he’s a cool cat, he’s got the ladies love factor and he’s older (26 I believe), so he brings a level of maturity and professionalism that you need. I think this cat was a plant from jump since he’s written songs for Joe and other artists, but I’m good with it. You gotta like Willie.

3. Big Mike

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Ok, for all you Big Mike haters, especially those from the hoods of Boston, the people have spoken and Large Miguel is officially in the building. The funny thing is just how much juice this cat Mike has picked up from the show. He was clearly the most popular contestant tonight at the Live Finale. I also enjoyed how he addressed that chick who asked him about his weight loss. “Either way, large or small, Imma still be sexy baby”. Go ‘head Big Mike. I look forward to seeing you on part two of the MTB4.

4. Qwanell

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Ok, now we’re getting down to the meat of this whole thing. I can’t lie, I didn’t foresee Q Making this band. Sure there were references to him being the best dancer in the house. He was clearly a cool cat and no question he could sing. But I just didn’t think he represented that bad boy cat. Didn’t think he had enough base in that voice…. ya know, enough strength in those steps. Interestingly, though, when they showed some of the show outtakes, Q looked a little bit like one of the guys. Then when they did that slow version of “Exclusive” he really ripped his part, so I was thinking, “where was this Q all show long?” Well, clearly Diddy saw the ability in this cat. Anyway, he’s in the band and all of Rochester, NY is happy for him. Good sh*t.

5. Brian A.

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Ok, I was dead up surprised at this selection. I said in the past that the only way Brian A. could make that band was if they had 5 members. There’s no question that he was helped out when Puff announced that he was going take 5 guys. At any rate, D’Angelo has got to be pissed right about now. Brian A. dead up took his spot and honestly, I don’t really get it. Again, I think it’s a professional call. This cat Brian A. is older, married with a kid and really a level-headed, cool cat. If this band will have longevity, he’ll be a integral part of it. I’m good with this selection, but you got to wonder if D’Angelo or even Jeremy has more talent than Brian.

==========================

Live Blog

Anyway, anyone who watched the Live Finale knows how random the show was. It’s kind of hard to blog about it because it was just all kind of jumbled together. Almost like they had never done this before, but I guess that’s what happens when things are live. I was doing a running tally of what was going on below. These comments were what was going through my head during the telecast:

10:18 PM: My lady asks me to turn on MTB4 Live Finale. She asked me as if I wasn’t aware it was coming on tonight. Doesn’t she know I keep at least a 30 minute tivo delay on all events so I can fast forward through the commercials? Women.

10:22 PM: Oh, lord! Sway, the biggest clown ever to grab an MTV microphone (yes, he’s worse than both Downtown Julie Brown AND Paulie Shore) is the host of this show. Jeez.. Now I must prepare myself for that ridiculous hat, his asinine commentary, gratuitous dack riding (even though you can tell Sway hates everyone he interviews) and terrible, corn-ball slang words and phrases. “Real talk” comes to mind. Sway is canned and terrible. Did I say I hate his hat?

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10:25 PM: Ok, dudes in tuxes, Puff gets introduced and then they introduced the “Dream Team”. Ok, Mike Bivins, B. Cox, Ankh Ra in a mock turtle neck, snap collar blazer piece, Slam and “the lovely choreographer Jamaica” are introduced.. Jamaica? Terrible, some of yall chicks need to know you can’t rock that high waist. Where is Laurie Ann?

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(this is literally a picture of LA at a party in NYC last month. Crazy)

And more importantly, who in the hell is Jamaica and why are they introducing a chick who literally never did a damn thing on the show? Maybe she’s Puff’s latest bangout. Moving on…

10:29 PM: Puff says he’s going to break them up into two groups for the “challenge”. I’m beginning to realize this format is not good TV. Maybe they should have hired the Flavor of Love producers to make this thing run smoothly. A Challenge? We here to figure out “who in the door” for Making the Band 4… this aint Survivor China (which quietly I’m hyped for). They’re going to have them both do the same song, GREAT. You mean the one song song you had? No, they’re signing a New Edition song…

10:35 PM: Ok, the first group is out there. Robert, Qwanell, Dyshon, Donnie and D’Angelo. Ok, this is cool. Donnie and Q sound better than I remember. Damn, Dyshon is off key, trying to steal juice like he did with that white jacket. Sorry bro, it aint gonna get you in this band… You got about as much of a chance making this band as I do and right now I’m sitting left couch, hand on my remote.

10:40 PM: The second group comes out to sing the same song – we’ve got Brian A., Jeremy, Brian H., Willie, and Big Mike. My impression is that Jeremy can sing.. but that first high note was a bit tart.. “then whyyyyy-EYE?” OK, he’s back on track. Fellas, it’s a good song, what’s with all the runs? Oh, Brian H was off key… LOL, What a cat. Willie was good a expected. Big Mike was hot, crowd loves him.

10:45 PM: Oh, time for a cut and damn. Yeah, let’s get out the damn hatchet. I don’t like the format of the show. Diddy cuts – Dyshon and says that he’s a better as a solo artist. “You’re going to see him, so don’t say awww..” Uh, no you will NOT be seeing Dyshon in the muisc buiness unless he’s boxing CDs in the stock room at Circuit City, ok? Sorry. Seems like a cool enough guy, but he wasn’t built for the band. Next.

10:48 PM: Back from commercial -oh, Dyshon’s parents are there for support. His pops looks like Twista, moms looks surprisingly decent for a mom-dukes.. Damn, all I can think is that she must have had him young because she looks like she’s 35 years old and Dyshon looks what, 30 errr 23?

10:50 PM: Awww, I’m all caught up on my tivo. Not that ballad version of “Exclusive” and why didn’t Puff know the name of the song?… My first thought is that this will be terrible. We’ll see. Music comes in and then the corn ball rhetoric starts. “Dis is for all da special ladies” … Ut ohhh Donnie on the piano.. Nice. Qwanell is actually selling it to me (no homo), this cat is looking like a star. Where was all this juice during the show? Robert never disappoints. No question this cat is hype. Nice to see Robert’s P fro as finally grown in right. Willie, solid as ever. Brian H honestly sounds solid, but I don’t like him, so I don’t want to hear that shit… Jeremey is predictably hot with the slow song. Has the great pure voice with the tone. He best belt it out, because it’s the last song he’ll ever sing on anyone’s tv is what I’m thinking… great talent, but he’s got the personality of bargain basement mannequin. As expected, Brian A. almost pops his vein in his forhead trying to sing too hard… Thank you young lady in the crowd for grabbing his hand and smoothing him out. Big Mike gets love…. Ok, now they’re all just singing too loud.. Where is the NYPD when you need them? Oh, here comes another cut.

10:40 PM: Diddy cuts – “Brian from Tallahassee, I mean from Jacksonville” everyone is thinking what I’m thinking, which one is that? Then the camera pans onto the terrible bean pole with his hand over his head like the woman he is.

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Perfect. Oh, yeah, Young Joc is going to be performing, What, “It’s going down again?” Oh hail naw, it’s some song off his new album.

10:45 PM: Ok, that was an easy cut. Diddy drops that same ole line, “we bought to make history” oh , here comes Danity Kane. Hmm… Shannon looking mighty cute in the shawt shorts as she walks by the camera. We may have to issue that thick white woman APB on her. “Don’t they look beautiful?” Diddy asks. Answer, yes.

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10:53 PM: Dawn talks about the process. Ok, she’s too serious with that Kanye what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger rhetoric. Thank goodness Brian H is gone. Oh, Aubrey says it “I don’t know how many times I had to change my hair color for this man..” OK, that’s not going to have settle down those rumors that you were getting cut up by Puff love. I know you don’t care, those rumors make you relevant.

10:55 PM: D Woods looks like someone’s mom and now is talking like one. So much for her magazine spreads and video shoots, I guess the airbrush can make anyone look tight.

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She said “don’t hold anything back..” hmmm, I Don’t like this. Oh young Joc’s album is in store on Tuesday, I’ll be certain NOT to buy. Sorry, but you gotta earn my free download, so you know a cat has to get the Lakey Lifetime Achievement Award in order for me to actually buy their disc.

11:00 PM: Live tv sucks.. My lady wants to watch the “Slowsky” commercial, you know those turtles who want their internet to run slower?

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Ok, that’s only funny if you have Comcast.. alright, it’s not funny even if you do. I’m just pissed that I’m about to be live, I thought this was an hour long show. Young Joc is worthless to me. “Coffee shop” -the beat is actually decent. I always just wonder who that dude is in the back who does nothing but say “shop” “uhn”… “heeeey”… I’m not really feeling this. Oh look, another middle aged cat, he must be talented because he sure doesn’t have “the look”..Oh ok, it’s Gorrilla Zoe. You gotta have talent to get on stage looking like that.

11:06 PM: Oh, that’s funny, I’ve got closed captioning on and it just said “when we come back, Diddy will be “pimping the band””.. who are these people they get to closed caption and haven’t the members of our deaf community suffered enough already? I keep closed captioning on a lot, these people are horrible at actually doing their job.

11:10 PM: Diddy gets ready to pick the band. Sway, the one trick pony, again tells Diddy that he doesn’t envy him, even though he does but just for other reasons. Terrible. Sway is a necessary evil I guess. If I never saw him, that head, that hair or those wraps/hats again, I think I’d be just about satisfied with how my life turned out.

11:13 PM: Ok, now what in the hell is Puff doing with this nonsense of step up and step back. This is horrible. Now all of yall step back…. AAAAHNNT.

11:16 PM: Diddy announces he’s going to make a 5 man group. Just remember I told yall so.

11:18 PM: Oh, here comes another cut – oh no.. Robert is told that he made the band. How much better does he look with his haircut?

11:19 PM: Willie makes the band. My lady approves.

11:20 PM: Q makes the band!!! WOW. That’s a bit of a surprise, but I like it. Not looking so good for Donnie with Big Mike still out there in a guaranteed slot.

11:24 PM: Oh DAMN!!! Brian made it. I’m happy for the dude and I’m sure his kid is clapping, but damn. He’s not a top 5 talent in my estimation.

11:25 PM: Ok, that means Big Mike… oh yes, there’s the Big Mike nod. Oh, and Donnie got a solo deal. Man, I feel bad for Jeremy and D’Angelo. They didn’t get any kind of shine and no discussion of why they didn’t make the band. They just got to sing and dance a little bit followed by the peace sign. That’s life I guess.

Looking forward to these dudes cutting their album. Also should be decent to see Donnie get in the mix with his solo career. I’ll be looking out.

-Lake

Making the Band 4: Well it’s about damn time!

August 23, 2007

As we all ready ourselves for the true finale on Sunday night when Diddy finally picks this band, we have a little treat for all you MTB4 fans out there.

Indeed, someone finally got footage of Laurie Ann Gibson from Making the Band 4 in that ridiculous blue leotard, fishnet, high heel combo. She realllllly thought she as bringing it that day. Fine, I was intrigued. I looked…looked hard even. But turned on? Sorry Laurie, that I was not. This outfit should have let us know the end was near. (That and the fact that they teased that damn fight from the first episode and didn’t deliver it until long about week 5.) Anyway, here it is in all its glory. Laurie Ann’s Blue Leotard.

Let me tell yall MTB4 fans out there…that midsection, that underbelly? It’s nooot riiiight. All the ladies out there know to rock something that flatters the shape and everyone is different. Something that looks great on one babe, don’t really look right on the next. She knew this would be on TV. Oh yeah, she waited for it, she wanted it. Just imagine the hours of prep time. The outrageous outfits that were NOT deemed appropriate for public consumption. You know you’re old as hell when you believe that outfit flatters you. “Supa uglay!”

Laurie Ann, you ruined the only thing you had going for you when you publicly dissed Diddy on his show. Sadly, like Mike Vick and his dogs, this foolishness is truly all you’ll be remembered for. Turrible.

-Brock

Making the Band 4: Quick Prediction

August 13, 2007

Here’s my prediction of the group tonight:

Willie, Big Mike and Robert are locks.

I think Diddy puts in Brian A for the fourth member, and then goes with Donnie as number 5 (after a dramatic pause and a slack jawed stare of course)

Afterwards Diddy goes out to find a slumpbuster to make sure this new group goes Platinum.

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-Brock

——————————–

UPDATE:

Well damn. My bad. The finale isn’t until Sunday, August 26th. My prediction still stands though.

Making the Band 4: Who’s in who’s out and why?

August 9, 2007

Update: CHECK OUT OUT NEW COVERAGE OF MAKING THE BAND 4, Season 2, Episode 1 right HERE.

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Well, Puff did it again and while last night’s show wasn’t all that great (though past ones did set the bar pretty high) we at least know when we’ll finally get the final band assembled, August 26th “live” (although we saw pictures of the dudes on stage already?).

Anyway, a few observations:

1. Robert should have been on the Big Mike slim down program during the break because homeboy looked like a pudgy jack-o-lantern when he came back “into the house”. It was pretty crazy how Diddy checked that cat for running out of breath during the show (and for rocking that glitter), that’s what happens when you’re carrying 15 extra lbs. And did cats check out those red jewels ole boy had in the back of his wig piece? First of all, I’m really ready for the Iversons to go out of style. Secondly, and I don’t care if he did grow that hair for 7 years with the help of his mama (terrible), that greased up baby P-fro is a MAJOR improvement, though I suspect he’s be getting grease in his hats, which are terrible anyway, so overall, it’s a win for that cat.

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(shed a few son)

He’s a lock for the group with the most all around pure talent. And boy, did he ever rip that verse on that Brian Cox joint. Gotta love Robert, even if he did let his lady kind of bitch him up on the phone….

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Incidentally, this is supposedly the babe, June, Robert was dating during the show, the one who ran her mouth on the phone and called him a “Drama King”… Rob, I aint gonna say she’s terrible, because that would be a lie and I do see what you see in her… As Mos Def put in Ms. Fat Booty, “Baby girl got all the right weaponry,” so I get that. But dude, this babe is not good looking enough to be running her trap on you like that on national tv! Keep hittin and placating, but the bottom line is, eventually she’s got to go — all the lip is just unacceptable.

2. This cat, Brian H. is f*cking terrible.

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I mean, this kid is the classic cat.

Sub Issue A. The Basketball Incident:

Remember on the basketball episode where this dude rocked that explosive errrr aggressive errr bitchy quick step dribble piece all the way down into the full unintentional split?! I mean, truly terrible and clearly soft as all hell. Then ole dude had the audacity to say in his most broken, half mouth open, geechie drawl, “people thank cuz I’m tall, I can play ball, no… I was the one where while all da ‘boys’ (suspect) wuz playin’ basketball, I wuz talking to all the girls”….right, we’ve got a name for that ‘one’, GAY. You were probably also the ‘one’ playing double dutch, braiding another dude’s hair and working on solo dance moves in your free time…In other words, real b*tch shit. And it shows.

Sub Issue B – Diva attitude – “I’m definitely very ‘flustrated'”

Did yall see how this clown talked to Ankh Ra after HE was fucking up the song at the beginning of the last episode? “You trying to clown me, dog?”

Clown you? They should have put him out on his ear at that very second. Ankh really dealt him that hot warning after Brian H started poppin’ off at the mouth, “Don’t do it”, ie. “Don’t make me, Ankh Ra, ‘do it’ to YOU, in other words, shut the fuck up!” Lucky for that cat, Ankh is a cool dude. Then, to make matters worse, MUCH worse, he dropped that “I’m definitely getting flustrated at this point” blast in the interview booth. I mean, are you flustered, frustrated or just dumb? The smart money is on all three! Seriously, for all you kids out there, stay in school. Finally, dude comes with that absurd rhetoric, AGAIN, when they did him the service of cutting off that horrible dish rag he called a hair cut only to look 300% better at the end.

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(what is that section in the front of your hairline supposed to be? Is that like a launching pad for your follicles? Seriously, those cats did you the greatest service known to man when they cut that monstrosity off your dome)

And then he pitched a hissy fit about it. I did like how Diddy’s barber really squared him up and how the other dude, not sure what his role was (stylist/henchman), just mean mugged him until he calmed the hell down. That was some real, grown man, slow down young buck type shit, not to mention completely necessary… I mean, that was CLASSIC. Meanwhile, Brian H. is sitting there, trying (and failing I might add) to keep from crying over some ole cat shit like a hair cut. Man the f*ck up dude. Dammit.

Sub Issue C – The cat ass fake mean mug

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This dude always has that ole cat ass look on his face like he doesn’t want to do something. It’s sad because he’s actually got some talent, but he’s just a fool and he’s not talented enough to overcome all that nonsense. It’s got that “fix your face” 5 year old quality to it. This dude is just awful and he cannot make that band, period.

3. Willie aka “Lucky” has already made the band as he should.

First off, if you look at Willie’s myspace page it says he’s written for several artists, including Joe. Yes, the very same Joe who was a “judge” early on in the competition. Plus Willie is 26 years old. He aint no spring chicken. I think Willie is your standard Puff plant. You know, just like that chick Denosh was on Making the Band 3…basically an old cougar with tons of talent and 8 years of experience when you’re supposedly looking for fresh faces. I can see Diddy in those production meetings now, “Now, there can only be one…and that’s me, yall don’t have me out here with no talent.. I don’t care what you gotta do, but don’t embarrass me.” Hell, that’s the same speech he gives every Thursday….anyway, plant or not, you gotta like Willie and he’s good for the group.

4. Though it hurts my heart to say this, Qwanell is suspect.

I won’t elaborate, because I actually like Q. But Q is just a (much) better version of Jonathan, the uber beeyatch who just had to go. First off, as I’ve said MANY times on this site, R&B is just inherently cat and soft. It just is. It’s bad enough with T-Pain and Neyo and to a lesser extent Chris Brown, running around here doing man on man duets like ole Rubber Neck from Jerky Boyz fame, but you can’t start out that way. Oh and Jonathan, that “I wasn’t called to do this” was just awful ok? You need to go home, take the damn skirt off, put some Ma$e in your voice, then promptly put some base in your voice and man-up.

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And just so you know, Q WORKED you in that boxing ring. AND though you may not know it now, the biggest thing you needed at that very moment was an ass whoopin! And guess what, you got it. HAAAAAAAAA Anyway, Q, maybe you can go, put on about 20 lbs (hit up Country Sweet playa), stop making some of those wild faces and get that tat lasered off your neck piece and come on back. I aint saying you…well.. I’m just saying. You aint the most rugged cat I’ve ever seen. I think Linkin Park said it best “[You] tried so hard and got so faaaaaar, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter…”

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To quote Diddy, sorry, you won’t be making the band.

5. Big Mike just has to make this band. Period point blank.

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It’s not so much that Mike is the best singer (though he is a hot singer, let’s be clear), the best dancer or even the best performer. But Big Mike does have that “it factor”. That special flow, charisma and swagger you just need in the band. He’s got the cool personality and just has a winner’s mentality. You also have to love his consistent and constant reference to the ladies (no questionable signs of switch hit-ability). Again, all very becoming of an R&B star and good for the Bad Boy portfolio going forward. In short, you gotta have Big Mike…he’s the anti Dylan from MTB2.

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“‘Who da greeeeeatis five rappar dove-all time? Die-lan, Die-lan, Die-lan, Die-lan and Die-lan” Terrible.

6. That cat Chris was f*cking terrible, relatively untalented and definitely had a severe case of fructose in da tank-ability. I mean, can anybody get this image out of their minds?

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And sure, this has NOTHING to do with the current show or who is going to Make the Band, but the bottom line is that I wanted to talk about it, so I did. Sorry Chris, I’m sure you’re a sweet kid, but your departure just let us know how unqualified you were for the group from jump street.

7. Brian A. is just sitting on the fence for me in a MAJOR way. Hey, bottom line, dude is a really cool cat. And clearly he can sing. The problem is, he really didn’t shine all that much on stage when the group opened up for New Edition. I mean, what happens when a really cool cat can’t translate his smooth flow and likability to the stage? Tough. And what’s with that crazy look on this cat’s face every time he sings hard. I mean, dude, R&B is for the smooth thug, not a cat trying to pass a kidney stone.

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I think there is crazy talent in the pool and while I’m pulling for Brian A., I just can’t affirmatively put him in my band. Let me say this, if the band is a 4 man team, Brian A. is OUT. It’s too bad too. That cat should really become an A&R or something when he’s done. He’s got that good guy industry flow you need. Oh, Brian’s biggest competition in a 5 man band is definitely DeAngelo…a cat who may not have all his personality, but who generally shines on stage and is pretty chill in his own right.

8. Donnie aka the 5th wheel is a strong contender for the band, but I like him in a 5 man team, but not really a 4 man squad.

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(honestly, is the tight man-hood necessary?)

Let’s face it, you can’t get past the fact that Donnie is white. I’m not really sure how that’s going to break for him. On the one hand, Donnie seems to be a favorite of the young white girls, a critical demographic. On the other hand, this is an R&B group and new day Color Me Badd types are never appreciated. The good news for Donnie is that he can definitely sing and can move well enough to dance to these basic B2K level dance routines (now that Laurie Ann is gone). The bad news for him is that he’s talked about himself as “the pretty white boy” with “one of the best shapes in the house”…terrible Donnie.

But as terrible as some of Donnie’s rhetoric has been, he’s waaaaay better than Dan the man, who was clearly out of his league (though he did have a good singing voice) and had some of the worst analysis in that interview booth since Kenny “the Jet” Smith first broke into broadcasting. All in all, Donnie is a likable guy and in a five man band aimed at maximum crossover appeal, it could work. It could also be a disaster. Tough call for Diddy…

9. As an aside, did anybody peep Laurie Ann backstage after the dudes opened up for New Edition? She was there camera whoring it up, just looking low as all hell, likely realizing how stupid it was to question Diddy after that absurd attempt at “Interjection”. Look chick, YOU ARE DONE IN THIS INDUSTRY.

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You may choreograph for stars as you always have, but your Paula Abdul/Jennifer Lopez dreams are OVER. You played yourself “baby gurl”…plain and simple. I guess (alleged) sex with Diddy back in 96 when you were actually tight isn’t your ticket to the good life after all.

It’s kind of hilarious when you think about it. Back in the day, Big Mike was trying to get some shine with Laurie Ann… Now, Laurie Ann just over there looking for a lil camera time with Big Mike. Question, with all the babes Puff has slept with and dissed, do you think chicks like Laurie Ann sit up at night, just wishing they were Kim Porter? Probably.. Kim actually has Puff’s kids, which is better than having a job or a real career yourself, because you know them checks just never stop coming… Right? Then Kim Porter sits up at night wishing she were Tracey Edmunds, a chick who has the loot, the kids, actually got put on with the real deal marriage to Baby Face and now is about to marry another rich superstar in Eddie Murphy. I guess the laws of nature always hold true, big fish eat little fish. Laurie Ann, you f*cked yourself baby gurl!!! Sorry.

10. Any contestant not expressly mentioned in this post is completely irrelevant.

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Damn this post is too long! Bottom line, here is my four man group.

1. Robert
2. Willie
3. Big Mike
4. DeAngelo (or Brian A, edge goes to the tall man)

And here’s the five man group (which is a more likely format)

1. Robert
2. Willie
3. Big Mike
4. DeAngelo/Brian A
5. Donnie

I think this post took 4 years off my life. Hope you cats enjoy how hard I’m working for you.

– Lakey F. Baby

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Nice work Lake. I’ll send one of the interns down to make sure you make it through the workday today after your effort on this post.

Look, let me guaran-damn-tee you that this whole “vote” idea is purely about the fate of that man Donnie. Like I said in my previous post, the Donnie dilemma is real. On one side the average “MTV Fan” like my girls Vanessa and Joanna from the comments section will buy the album on the strength of Donnie alone. Puff doesn’t want to make the band corny for no reason with the one white boy if it doesn’t mean sales. Diddy is in it for the bitniss of the bitniss. Gotta move those units. Plus, Donnie did push ups the entire two months he was at home. Gotta give him something.

-Brock

Making the Band 4: The Finals

August 1, 2007

Update:   CHECK OUT OUT NEW COVERAGE OF MAKING THE BAND 4, Season 2, Episode 1 right HERE.

Check out our Live Finale Post 8 27 07 HERE

Making the Band is quietly one of the best shows out there on TV. The last episode didn’t give me the comedy level that I usually like, but it is delivering the goods.

Overall, I have a few comments. First, there is no way Diddy is bailing out on this season like he had to do with Danity Kane, round one. At very least, this cat is going to get some solid music out of these cats. These boys can sing, and that first song is decent. The dancing….ioooontknow. I still think this is too aggressive. Who dances like that? Even in the days of Bell Biv DeVoe, they weren’t wiling out like this. nSync took it to the next level on the dance tip, but some of the moves here are too much. You have these cats moving like background dancers in Vegas, not like the main act. We’re not searching for the next pussycat doll here. (Asia’s drop it low and shake it out to “Beep” is still one of the best moments in TV history for me.)

My man “can I just sang my song” Julius gets shook when he catches that knee jammy. His leg was hurt so badly, he forgot how to sing! He thought he was done, so he was in fact done. Oh well.

Anyway, it is prediction time:

Willie, Big Mike and Robert are all locks as far as I’m concerned. These guys can only lose by really BS’ing it.

Big Mike has the best chance as Diddy appreciates a cat that “works hard” on their own and if he drops the weight, he is in. Get it Big fella!

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I mean, this cat is light on his feet for a superheavy weight. If he just gets rid of those damn stunna shades and the BS grille he wore to the skrip club, he’d be straight.

Big Willie is the other lock:

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He was quiet, but solid and the ladies should take to him.

Here is the million unit question… Does Diddy let in the white boy?

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Here’s the deal. Can you sell more with him or without him? Diddy isn’t going to forget the way those ladies were screaming for Donnie on that first showcase. That is why he didn’t let Laurie Ann talk Donnie into stepping over that line in the sand when Diddy told him he couldn’t dance. Diddy doesn’t want to get rid of him. He wants nSync numbers, not B5 numbers. Otherwise MTB4 ain’t nothing but Jagged Edge or 112. That first single ain’t no End of the Road, homay. It is hot, but not that hot. They better break out a ballad or they will be in trouble. An all black group may not even do Da Band numbers, but you add Donnie and they might just come off like some pre-fabricated BS. That’s the gotcha-gotcha.

I’ve got Diddy ultimately letting in 5, with Brian A as a front runner.

-Brock

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SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!

Okay, just kinda. Peep out Medium Mike.

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You can’t tell me this cat wouldn’t have been right back on the Twinkies and grilled cheese sandwiches if he didn’t make the cut.

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Check out Lake’s predictions for the Making the Band finale right here… Hot off the presses!!!!

Making the Band 4: Studio Time

August 1, 2007

We’ll have a more complete discussion of the best show on TV right now, Making the Band 4, but before we give you the full deal, I figured it was worth putting up this little peak into the future of this Band.

So good.  Look, Robert might allow his lady to run him, he may rock some of the most garbage head gear since Floyd Mayweather Jr. came out in that sombrero during his fight with Oscar De La Hoya (and then promptly laid an egg for all to see) and he may have one some of the worst overall combination of accessories, hair and general flow of ANYONE in the house, but that boy CAN SING!  He laces that second verse with that hot run and really just adds that juice you need.  He’s a LOCK for the Band.  More later.

Making the Band 4: Laurie Ann Gets FIRED by Puff! “No Interjections”

July 26, 2007

UPDATE:  Check out our latest update of Season 3 of Making the Band 4, “Laurie Ann Returns” HERE

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Listen, I was supposed to let me boy Brock lace up the MTB4 updates, but after watching the last show, I just had to say something about the conflict between Diddy and Laurie Ann. You guys know Laurie Ann, the crazy choreographer who clearly thought she was more attractive and talented than she really was.. case in point:

Album? Superstar? Has this chick completely lost all her good sense? First off, she played herself in that absurd electric blue leotard with those “ab implants” or whatever that soft middle region was supposed to be. Second, “baby gurl” was a fly girl on In Living Color, yes THAT early 90s hit TV show. That means she’s at least 37 years old (roughly the same age or a little younger than JLo). And finally, she beefed with a monster in the music biz, Sean Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, Combs — WHY?!?! I mean, did I really hear her say that without her “there would be no show” and “you can’t edit me out”? Excuse me? All we know you from is the Making the Band series, which means you owe all of your public fame to Puff, no matter how many random artists you’ve choreographed videos for.

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Damn, damn damn.. And what’s this we hear about her calling the NYPD on Puff supposedly because he threw a chair at her? Hey, I don’t care if he pulled a Remy Martin and shot you, you don’t f*ck with Diddy when you’re trying to start a career in singing and besides, even if he did, I’m with Puff on this one. And boy oh boy, I can’t lie. That final exchange between Puff and Laurie Ann was CLASSIC (reminded me of more than a few Durham Don “Corleone” exchanges I’ve witnessed of the years).

Puff: they’re gonna have to be able to dance, ya know? How long did they rehearse?
Laurie Ann: Just today
Puff: Today? Why was it just today (voice of total incredulity)?
Laurie Ann: Because that was the task…and we had 8 hours…and they were better when they left.
Inaudible cat in the background: uhh, err, this is the first time we could get her (Laurie Ann) in.
Puff: OK, then I told you to get me another choreographer, because right now, you want me to make a cut, I can’t make a cut on guys who learned a routine in one day.
Puff: (in utter disbelief, mouth agape, per usual) I didn’t know it was one day, I wouldn’t have been able to learn all that shit in one day —
Laurie Ann: (sounding like a 7 year old, rather than the 37 year old she is) Yes you would have…
Puff: Baby gurl that aint what I said to do with MY SHOW MEH! I told you if she can’t do it, get me another choreographer, that’s it.
Laurie Ann: (in baby talk) May I interject?
Puff: No interjection. There’s only one! (HAA) Only one person’s show.
Laurie Ann: (semi yellin) No, I don’t have a problem with, based on-
Puff: Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Naaah, I’m, Baby gurl, I’m not takin no interjections
Laurie Ann: I was just–
Diddy: I’m not takin NO INTERJECTIONS (LOL, this was just too good)!!
Puff: (slight, almost imperceptible pause) Now I’m about to go psycho for real
Laurie Ann: (inaudible neck poppin, gum smackin and mean muggin) So am Eyeee!
Puff: What? Well GET THE FUCK OUT THEN!!!!!!
Laurie Ann: I’m not scared of you!!! (translation: This is a major mistake. What am I doing right now, I’m deeply concerned and fearful for my career)

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooo we!!!!! I loved that sh*t.. Had to run it back on Tivo at least 5 times. Oh man. I wonder if he absence/inability to teach them the “routine” earlier that weekend had anything to do with that reality show she’s now shopping. That would make the “Baby gurl, there’s only one” smack make sense. He’d been telling her to “shut the f&ck up all season long”. I guess she didn’t get the hint.

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And this babe is going to publicly talk shit about Diddy AND call the NYPD on him and think she’s gonna get a record deal or get this random reality show off the ground? Maybe she better go ask Dylan, Fred, Nes, Babs, Sarah (and that Ike Turner Jr. Jr. clown husband of hers) and Chopper about what happens to your career when you don’t act right with Puff.

Let me ask yall a question, with all this “Baby gurl” talk and this uncomfortable, non-professional, line steppin Laurie Ann was doing, what percentage would you put on the probability that Diddy is, has or can whenever he wants to bang out Laurie Ann?  I’d put it at about 98.54% probability of that ass tappities have occurred.  Too funny….

– Lake

Making the Band 4: Puff is at it again…

July 12, 2007

Well Damn! UvT is blowing up! Fitzy, the new Us Versus Them intern has been reading the emails and he tells me you cats can’t wait to see what Brock and Lake think about Diddy’s Making the Band 4. You really can’t argue with the media genius of Sean Combs. Sure, he had a bit of a slip up with Da Band (Fred, where you at? You actually had skills homey), that grubby group of non-working, smokin’ and drankin’misfits, but the show was entertaining. Then he hit that proverbial home run with Making the Band 3 which produced the platinum selling group Danity Kane.

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Oh yes, we loves the ladies, and did enjoy that slim down of D. Woods, even if her stage name is inexplicable. Now Diddy is at it again with Making the Band 4, and dammit it might be the best yet.

At first I was skeptical. Expecting an American Idol, like parade of mens that like them mens. Instead we see a parade of young artistic black men. Sensitive? Sure. Way too many du rags in the house? Definitely. Is there a closet full of wife-beaters? Probably. Anyway, these cats really set up a “You Got Served” style sangin’ BATTLE! Seriously? This was crazy!

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I mean that cat Brian was strugglin’ until his boys backed him up. I haven’t seen a team stick together like that since the latino cat from NY Undercover was almost stabbed in the Beat It video.

On a side note. Ankh Ra looks like a Ferengi.

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Just sayin’.

Now back to the seeeensitive side of things. This cat Dre really went out like a cat. I mean he can’t like what he saw on Monday night. If I hear that damn “End of the Road” one more time. I’m gonna hurt somebody.

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Here are some other things I never want to see or hear again:

Anyone say “Making the Band 4, we in the door”.

Julius say “Can I sang my own song?”

Laurie Ann in that Blue leotard. She gets immediate admission into the “I think I’m hotter than I am” club.

Big Mike say “all I’m gonna eat is fruit and Cheerios.”

Anyone say, “music is my life”.

I will tell you the best part of the show….no matter how hard these cats are working. How hard they are singing. If they are crying talking about how they never had a chance. People dancing their ass off. Diddy has the same damn slack jawed, I don’t give a damn look on his face:

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I mean that shit is priceless. More next week. Laurie Ann fights Diddy? (By the way, Diddy’s gotta be hittin that right?) Can’t wait.

-Brock