Archive for the ‘Lake’s a Muuhfu*ka!’ Category

It’s still a problem: Negative Arse Part 2

November 14, 2007

I took a lot of shit for my hard-hitting negative ass exposé from back in the day. Still, I pushed on because I really believe that it was and still is an important issue that has been largely ignored by the mainstream media.

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(Negative arse syndrome, has it hurt you or someone you love(d)?)

Still, some of these babes I run with, they just weren’t feeling it.

“But Lake” they said. “It’s bad enough that society sexually objectifies the female body as if women are objects to be evaluated, critiqued and even treated like currency. Your observations of the female form only complicates the issue as you further perpetuate these prevailing sociocultural attitudes themselves!!!!” My response: AS THEY SHOULD BE!!! My people have suffered far too long with these no ass having chicks.

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Bone on bone crime is as serious as any other crime and it should be treated as such! What these chicks should be doing is working with conscientious people like myself to eradicate skeletal butt…for the children. Take Demi Moore for instance. She’s generally regarded as an very attractive, albeit, older woman.

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Now see, it’s all good until she turns around and then:

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Boom, no ass at home!

I know, I know, some dudes don’t need ass. I’ve heard it all before. My boy told me… He doesn’t work with the ass so the negative ass doesn’t bother him. Nonsense. If you don’t work with the ass, there’s probably something wrong with it…but more importantly, you’ve got something wrong with yourself. THIS is what you’re missing:

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(My favorite part of this pic is the hat…Tasena, hip hop model if you need her)

Now that’s a tailpiece. This too..

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(Best part of this pic is the intense look in her eyes and that ring on her right pinky finger)

Dats azz.. Ok, just one more…

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(My word!)

It’s like Kanye said, “Dog, are yall fuckin kidding?” Forget “shoulders, chest, pants, shoes.” The new mantra needs to be “squat, thrust, lunge, cool…” Do all these thangs and you too can have and enjoy…DAT AZZ. Peace.

– Lake n Bake

Dirty Harry: Prince’s sex tape exposed?

October 28, 2007

You all probably heard about the plot to blackmail a member of the Royal family with an alleged sex tape that shows a Royal receiving oral sex and doing cocaine.

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(Look at Harry with a handful of tittays)

Let’s just call this one straight, we all know it was Harry. Who else would be banging out on tape?

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You know Harry was dranking that Chrissy, snorting that cocaine and getting after several hoes on camera. That’s what Harry does. He’s a wild boy, known to be the “naughty one”…

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It should be hilarious when the tape actually does come out because as with all things, there’s never just one copy. Especially if they were trying to sell it back to Harry and his fam. If there is one thing I learned in my Brit Lit class it’s that Harry loves the hoes and hoes love Harry!!!!

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(Party like a rockstar H)

Gotta be the red headed bandit, right?

– Lake

==========Update===========

As a bonus for all you low cats out there, I was looking for a copy of the Prince Harry tape and ran across this. Now normally, my moral code wouldn’t allow me to post this.

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But the deleterious effect you crazy readers are having on me is beginning to take hold. Here you go, a sex tape of a 19 year old Argentinian actress, Maria Fernanda Telesco (aka “Chachi”), who starred in their version of High School Musical. If Prince Harry’s tape is this hot, maybe he should change his profession. Uh, did anyone else know these Argentinian babes were this hot? Wow.

Lake’s Breakfast Menu

October 7, 2007

When Lake wakes up in the morning, he can’t figure out what he likes best for breakfast:

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Pancakes…

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Or  Muffin Tops…

Personally, I like thick legs and ham.

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I do like them, Sam I Am.

-Brock

Kraft Recalls White Chocolate

October 6, 2007

Lake, your people need you back.

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My bad, you still my nilla though.

Hilarious how White people who play like brothers immediately get the “White Chocolate” pseudonym.

There’s Jason (not shotgun, not “smiles like he’s smelling sh*t” Jay) Williams:

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White Strippers built like this:

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And this phone by Verizon Wireless:

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They do need to recall Lake though. He’s been out of control lately. A lady has got to bust out a sex tape to even hit his radar these days. I think if there was an Allison Stokke sex tape he might just completely lose his mind.

-Brock