Archive for the ‘George Bush’ Category

Senator Larry Craig (R) Idaho is still gay…

October 26, 2007

And now his past is coming after him. Meet gay man and half (black bear) about Washington, DC, David Phillips, he’s decided to ahem ‘come out’ and say what he knows about Larry Craig and his underground sexual trysts with men. Only this time it’s not foot positions, drifting fingers, and toe tappitties…nah, this time it’s personal.

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Still no word of denial from Sen. Craig, though you just know it’s coming. Did any of you check out that guy’s act on Matt Lauer’s show?

If you can go on air and try to sell us that bill of goods, you’re capable of anything. And don’t you just love how he tries to laugh off the whole, “you may have had some paper on your foot, whoa ho ho hoooooo”.. LOL.. Nilla please. You’re gay. We know it. You’re a liar. We know that.

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You know what I particularly enjoyed about that interview? His lying wife. You can just look on her face while he’s proffering those asinine explanations and realize A. even she doesn’t believe this fool and B. Notwithstanding that fact, she’ll still lie to the end of time because she realizes that her well-being is inextricably linked to his well-being.

Normally I’d say ‘just go away’, but in this case, I’ll say ‘stick around’. After all, you and all those brazen lies may just have the effect of opening the eyes of some of these voters out here in 2008. I can see it now, “my opponent isn’t being straight with you, he’s a Larry Craig Republican”… Then they flash this picture up on the screen.

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Classic.

– Lake

President Bush Goes to the Dark Side

October 25, 2007

When the Star Wars Prequels came out, we all knew where it was going to end up.  Aniken was going to become Darth Vader, he was going to have twins, Luke and Leia, with Amidala who was going to die in child birth, the Jedi were going to be exterminated, Yoda was going into hiding, and Obi Wan was going to get old (and after J.K. Rowling revealing that Dumbledore from Harry Potter likes wands more than cauldrons, Obi Wan is on the watch list for being a foot tapper).

The thing that always made me laugh about the movies was that they tried to pretend that we didn’t know that Palpatine was Darth Sideous.  Sure his face gets really old, but that is the worst disguise since Superman donned the glasses as Clark Kent.  I say all of that to say, I know a Sith Lord when I see one.

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Pale skin, dark robes.  You always see it coming.  So then I saw this today:

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Now you tell me.  It looks like a conversion to the dark side to me.  So I did a little research, to see what else I could find.

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Okay, is anyone else concerned?  Her eyes are probably yellow under those sunglasses.  Condi Rice better watch her back before Dubya tells Laura to “strike her down” like Aniken did Samuel L. Jackson.

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With a year left before the election and all of this World War III talk that has been floating out there lately, I wouldn’t put it past George Bush to start the war, name himself dictator of all US Americans, amend the constitution to stay in office, rename the United States the North American Empire, build a Death Star, try to kill all the Ewoks, and move the White House to outer space.

I’m just saying.

-Brock.

Belicheat fights back!!!

September 17, 2007

After a week of face slappities and Belichick ego smackities the New England Patriots coach silenced some of his critics on Sunday with a convincing win over the AFC rival San Diego Chargers. As far as we know, Bill didn’t cheat for this win, but then again, you never can tell…

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(Look at Bill in his b-boy stance. Too stylish)

B-Cheat was his usual cheerful self after the game, you know, mumbling, not asnwering quesitons, and taking offense to everything that wasn’t congratulatory. Hell, with an attitude like that perhaps he should join the Bush Administration.

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At least with his tactics, lying and cheating he manages to get things done with is more than I can say for Dubyah and his band of idiots. Anyway, it was a good win for the Pats and you just know they’re all celebrating right now. Belichick would do his typical, sacrifice someone’s relationship by stealing their wife, but he’s waiting for Tom Brady to make it legit with Gisele.

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Ok, I admit it, I just wanted to post another picture of Gisele, but Bill would hit…though, I can’t really blame him.

– Lake

Lil Wayne ON FIRE at the VMAs

September 11, 2007

I’m not a big Fall Out Boy fan, in fact, I couldn’t name a single song of theirs if my life depended on it.

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At least I couldn’t until yesterday. But now I feel like this song, “This Aint a Scene, it’s an Arms Race Remix“, is straight firah!!!! The live version of this song is a punk rock joint featuring Lil Wayne, Tyga and some cat who looks like the grimy love child of that crazy ass Billy Walsh from Entourage and Joakim Noah. No question, this cat:

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Billy Walsh (the crazy director from Entourage)

PLUS a wild Joakim….

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DEFINITELY gives you this wild cat:

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…who “I’ve just been told” is some clown named “Travis” from the “Gym Class Heroes” which I will admit is a hot name for a band, but it goes without saying that I’m not impressed. Moreover, Weezy torched this cat.. I mean, really ripped it after his flow. WOW.

Sorry, but I must digress here…Just back to wild Joakim Noah..when I was looking for a picture of this cat, I unearthed this clip, something I had forgotten. But really doe, who could ever forget his act after that first National Championship:

I mean, I thought for a second that joint was sped up. That was not on fast forward, that cat really did all that in real-time speed.. Yo, run that joint back again.. It’s crazy!

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Yo, this cat has some wild “teef” like an overworked vampire for hire with no dental plan or labor union in site. Isn’t his pops rich and famous? Go get yo’ shit fixed son!!!

At any rate, I saw a piece of that”This aint a Scene” joint on one of the breaks during the MTV VMAs last night and didn’t give it much thought. Again, the best music that night was all as they went to commercial break (which just shows how out of touch MTV is at this point, but whatev), but then a loyal reader in Boston sent me the hot clip. Anyway, if you love Weezy and can find it in your heart to enjoy a decent blend of rock/rap when the occasion calls for it, then this is right up your alley..

Let me attempt to post what I could draw from Weezy’s flow, I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s delivery.. But I love this sh*t:

I am your arms dealer
I’m more like an arm dealer
Litter-really
Really I don’t get this song neither
But I’m gonna figure it out like a palm reader
And since I be on tv
I turn it on to see me
I’m so cool even I wanna be me
But that was totally off the subject
But really who cares when you’re fresh like Dougie
Real long hair
Real long money
And I don’t even care because I’m strapped like a Mummy
Got the (w)rap like a Mummy
Never dress bummy
Paper just stacked, like a stat, like a tummy (ohhh)
You cross my line then you’re flat like a tummy
On the exercise, I don’t know I never tried it
I’m your Highness
Wayne’s world
I’m a fall out boy
Need a stand up girl

Weezy really is a rock star. Even in a room full of real rock cats he stole the show. I used to question Weezy’s versatility, but at this point I do believe Weezy can do anything. I mean, this cat should fly out to Italy to do a spot start for Pavarotti, then roll over to Afghanistan to find Bin Laden since obviously The Worst President Ever or as Weezy calls him, “Georgia Bush”, never will, then come back New Orleans to whip up that last batch of Purple Oil/Syzurp for this party I’m having over at TenJune up in NYC on Friday.

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And ship that UPS Gold Priority Plus Homey, thanks.

– Lake

Alberto Gonzales hits the bricks…

August 27, 2007

Another W flunky is out of the White House. First Rove, now young Al.

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Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finally offered his resignation today, he’ll be leaving on September 17th (ohh, so soon?). I’ll kind of miss the guy. I know it just turned the Republican’s stomachs to have to take up for a Latino dude (I could stop the sentence right there) who was emblematic of the fact that the GOP can’t be trusted to do anything right in government except win elections. Wait, maybe I’m just being too hard on ole ‘Berto. So his horrible decisions with regard to torture, kidnapping and detainment were international scandals that embarrassed our nation and undermined our credibility for the foreseeable future. No biggie right? Hey, at least he didn’t breed and fight dogs (that we know of) then someone might actually have to do something about this dude.

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So he made a fool of himself in front of congress, acting as if he actually could not recall ANYTHING having to do with the fired US Attorneys. That was nothing. Sure, he compromised his integrity and made himself look like a damn idiot, like his boss actually is, when everybody knew better. I mean, if you couldn’t tell he was doing that for Bush and the rest of his flunkies, then you probably thought Jeremy was making the band last night. I know, I know, he “could not recall” just like that mental midget Ronald Regan couldn’t recall how he allowed the CIA to sell drugs in inner city LA so that they could fund the Contras in Nicaragua.

Nah, ole ‘Berto just debased himself for Dubyah and crew. I hope it was worth it. Actually, I know it was worth it. Alberto is about to get paid for showing his loyalty AND there’s no way he can get thrown in jail for his crimes because W will just pardon him.

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Warrantless wiretaps, reduced personal freedoms, and Bush just called him a hero. Go figure. Bush said it was a shame ole Al’s name got “dragged through the mud”.. Indeed it is a shame, but Al’s name got all f*cked up because of all the dirt YOU and that Dick, Cheney, did.

“You’re doing a heckuva job Brownie…” I’ll say it again, WORST PRESIDENT EVER… What a country.

– Lake

PS- I wonder if Jenna Bush’s business partner errr fiance Henry Hagar is up for Attorney General..  Why not, right?

Dubyah flunkies: We don’t die, we multiply

August 19, 2007

We finally learned on Wednesday why Karl Rove retired….Did he suddenly grow a heart and take accountability for his horrible blunderings/strategizing over the lives of Hurricane Katrina victims? Nooo, that’s not it. Was it the realization that he completely F’d up this “little” debacle known as the War in Iraq? Nah, we just need the surge to take root so that freedom can once again go on the march… Oh no, he heard that silly chick Jenna Bush was about to get hitched and just knew it was a sign from above that it was time to hit the damn bricks! Niiiice, what a shocker, somebody is making an honest woman out of drunk girl and bad twin Jenna Bush.

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Meet Henry Hagar, the next gravy trainer errrr member of the proud and meritorious Bush dynasty.

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Hey, I can’t lie… you gotta get that money mayne. I’m not mad at Hank either. Trips to Kennebunkport, sojourns to the Crawford, Texas “ranch”, limitless undeserved jobs and hookups for him and the rest of his family for life… Sounds like a hot deal to me.

The funny thing about the Bush twins is that it’s hard to tell which one looks better. Do you go with superthick Dubyah Jr. Jr. in Jenna (she looks exactly like the worst prez ever) or do you rest with slim shady, Barbara?

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I guess Rule No. 2, “No big girls” dictates I’d have to take Barbara and I guess the fact that she went to Yale helps on some level. So there you have it, Henry Hagar is officially scrapping the bottom on the Bush barrel.

I can’t call it. All I know (and believe me he knows it too) is that Henry is about to get paid.

– Lake

It’s a good start: Good riddance to Rove

August 13, 2007

Karl Rove decided to call it quits from the White House staff to being to steal another election errrrrr get some payback money in the private sector eeerrrrrr teach and write in his twilight years of his life.

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If only that idiot Dubyah would follow in his footsteps. Seriously, how much damage can one man do some of my ignorant and naive friends asked me back in 2000. Well, after 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and Iraq war bumblings, to just name a few — can you idiots finally admit that you were wrong about this guy and his flunkies? I don’t blame Bush (well, that’s a lie, yes I do), I blame all the idiots who ever voted for him. Thanks for nothing.

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Karl, see you in hell….

Bush lets Scooter off the hook

July 3, 2007

In a turn of events that shocked ones of people, George Dubyah Bush aka “Worst President Ever” did the unthinkable and commuted the 30 month sentence of his boy’s boy, Scooter Libby late Monday night. When asked to explain why he choose to hook his accomplice up Bush responded with this:

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Oh yeah, nothing says truth, justice and the American way like pardoning (ok, it was a commutation but ‘pardoning’ sounds better and I’m using the word ‘pardon’ in a colloquial sense rather than a legal one so get off my back…b*tches) your boy, the same cat who lied to federal prosecutors on YOUR BEHALF about YOUR administration’s illegal, immoral and nefarious attempt to punish people who actually were right about the bullshi*t leading up to this catastro-phuck in Iraq.

Anyway, the effects of Bush’s move were felt immediately, especially for Scoot himself. This was Scooter on the way to the court house Monday.

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Homey wasn’t looking too strong. And this is him after he got the news:

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Indeed, the cat was out in the streets, loving life and just actin’ a damn fool… I guess homey is a faster healer than AI because that injured foot just went right away. Anyway, Scooter wasn’t the only one happy, upon hearing of the pardon, Dizzick Cheney reported slaughtered 300 baby seals and clubbed his lesbian daughter about the neck, chest and breast in celebration.

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Oh yes, he was elated. And all this activity right up on the 4th of July… almost brings a tear to my eye. You know, Bush righting the wrongs of our legal system to properly free those political prisoners who never had an advantage in life and just got railroaded by the system. Lowly unconnected cats like Scooter…exactly!

Who knows, maybe next year Bush will free R. Kelly on Juneteenth if it ever comes to that. Naaah, aRa aint never gonna get convicted. It’s like him, Jacko, and the Bush Administration….all untouchable. “Scooter, Kelly not guil-tee”.

God Bless America!

Moni Love goes too far. Another W flunky

May 23, 2007

Hey, usually I keeps my thoughts with my paper and the ladies, but I just had to post on this topic. Today on Capitol Hill, Monica Goodling, a former United States government lawyer and political appointee in the administration of Dubyah had to testify (Eeeeeeye wanna testifyyyy).

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(She sure does have some purrty hair…can’t lie)

Chick was the Director of Public Affairs for the United States Department of Justice, serving under Attorneys General John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales. This idiot juuust got out of law school, a trash one at that, in 1999 and now she’s interviewing top level officials in the Department of Justice?!?! I feel safe.

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Religious Zealot nitwits protecting my fundamental rights… wonderful.

Ole girl asked wild questions of seasoned attorneys like, “have you ever cheated on your wife?” and “who is your favorite President or Supreme Court Justice?” Beeey-err CHICK, you went to Messiah College and Regent University Law School, two faux schools built off the thievery of televangelists like Falwell and Pat Robertson. You are the last person to be asking ANYONE….ANYTHING about their qualifications other than who’s gonna drop those Freedom Fries into the grease at the Messiah University cafeteria!!!

Siddown, shut-up and take your candy a$s back to whatever backwoods, in-breed community you hail from. Today during her testimony she said:

“Nevertheless, I do acknowledge that I may have gone too far in asking political questions of applicants for career positions. And I may have taken inappropriate considerations into account on some occasions.”

Yeah, ya think? Unless you’re asking this question “paper or plastic” I don’t want to hear anything from you. Now see, I was just giving it up to my thick white women the other day and here you go embarrassing our race.

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And though from this picture you may actually have some Thick YT credentials/may in fact be descended from the tribe of Thickney Spears, et al., I still ask you……Put that Cup O Jesus juice down and Please go away(and have a blesseded day of course!)

Get her Bill!

-Lakey the Don