Archive for the ‘Basketball’ Category

This Just In: NIT Bound Terps Still Suck

March 13, 2008

To all my loyal Terp fan readers, I’m sorry this post took me four days to complete.

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It’s not that I wanted to neglect you, it’s just that every time I tried to write it, I ended up laughing so hysterically that I couldn’t complete it.

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Now, unlike others, I love to be the one to say, “I told you so.” So let me go ahead and say it, I TOLD YOU SO! LOL. Contrary to the rhetoric so many of you hit me with this entire season, clearly your team wasn’t all that good and obviously you were a completely inferior squad when compared to those Duke Blue Devils.

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Just look at you, you’ve got ONE win against a top 50 team when you stole that game from UNC. Otherwise, you haven’t done shit to deserve an at large bid. I know, I know, you guys can still win the ACC Tournament. Sure and I can still play striker for AC Milan. You guys are lucky ESPN is still calling you a bubble team. In all truth, you cats aren’t on the bubble, you’re under the bubble only that bubble is deez nuts!

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Anyway, I’ll certainly be tuned in Thursday night when Boston College puts that final bullet in your coffin. And it don’t look much better for next year either. How are you guys going to have any better chance of making the Tournament in 2009? You’ll lose Osby and Gist and replace them with two Junior College players, a post grad guy and one decent 4 star recruit. Sure, Vasquez is solid, but he’s just that, solid. He’s not a guy who can kill anyone by himself and Hayes is barely an ACC level talent. Just face it Maryland fans, your coach can’t and doesn’t want to recruit.

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I enjoyed watching you guys blow a 20 point second half lead to Clemson the other day, the looks on the faces of your fans were priceless.

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“To riot or not to riot, that is the question.”

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And then that swift and stiff ass kicking you took from bottom feeding UVa on the road, how very Terp of you to not show up when you needed to most. Anyway, enjoy that first round tap out in the NIT. It’s not like I didn’t tell you fools that you’d be there. Now if I can only get you clowns to discontinue any and all discussion about the “competitive academics” at Murrland. Maryland is a fine school, but when I was applying to Colleges, my list included Stanford, Brown, Princeton and Penn, not Virginia Tech, Florida State and Murrland, ya dig? There is no comparison, kind of like basketball this year. Now you guys just sit there and deal with it. LOL Oh and get ready to hear me run my mouth allllll summer and allllll next year too. Haaaaaa Terps suck.

– Lake

Moonshine & Muskrat Soup All Around: UNC beats Duke

March 10, 2008

Not enough sack at the end of the game and poor execution sent the Blue Devils packing against the boyz in Baby Blue from down the road in NC. You best believe those hicks on Franklin street were having a humdinger good hootin’ time once that final buzzer sounded.

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Oh yes, it was moonshine, tabaccy chew and musrat soup for erryone over there at Safety School University and I must admit, it was well earned. Now on to the ACC Tourney were hopefully the Good Guys can right the ship and take the tie-breaker en route to an ACC Championship. But before we move on to that, I must ax this one question again:

What exactly do you think this chick “wants” from Gerald Henderson again?

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Exactly.

– Lake (Still givin’ em what they want from Hinton James to BW3 stockrooms)

UvT Sports: This Is How You Man Up on D

March 5, 2008

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Correction. This is how not to man up on D.

Kyle, what the hell is that. Rashad McCants isn’t even dunking. That looks like a pull up floater. You can’t duck out of the way of a pull up floater. And who is that lo ass cat standing behind them? Is he a midget?

Kyle Korver looks like all those old school voters in Ohio did when they got in that booth and seriously thought about actually voting for Barack Obama for President.

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I know Hillary. You aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

-Brock

Yao-zers: Mr. Ming is out for the season

February 26, 2008

Damn, after a great 12 or so games down the stretch, Yao is now out for the SEASON with a broken foot!

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And yes, I am a bit uncomfortable with this shot and no I won’t be making any KFC jokes any time soon. Guess what Houston, your season is OVA.. Tough. Look at it this way, you can always bring some of the homies up from your D-League squad.

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Ok, I admit it.. I have no interest in this story and just posted this because I wanted to use this picture.  And yes, I know that “Mr. Ming” is wrong, blah, blah, blah because his surname is actually Yao, so don’t even put that in the comments.  When will yall figure out, I know cultural differences, I just choose to ignore them for the benefit of my own ignorant bliss.

– Lake, an asshole according to some Duke Lax players who now read UvT (good to have you guys)

Super Ugly: Duke drops second straight

February 21, 2008

I know that it’s tough to win on the road in the ACC, but, Dammit, Duke shouldn’t be losing two straight to unranked teams. So I’m flipping through my tivo “To Do” list, looking for this Duke game against Miami tonight and I notice that it’s just not there. Aww hells no, is the Comcast questioning my Fanhood? So I hop in the whip and head over to Game On outside of Fenway to find a few other Duke fans checking out the game.

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Immediately I saw more of the same foolishness that I saw against Wake Forest. First, they were hitting everything. They were banking it, slamming it, J’ing us from three, pulling it up, this cat McClinton was lacing the runner, I mean, you name it, they were doing it.

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That was bad enough and we looked slugglish in the first half, but what about that patented Duke effort to start the second half? You know, that same courage and character that won the Carolina game and both Maryland games?

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It just never came. Instead, we had the scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion special going on as Miami just thrashed us. I mean, they pushed the lead out to 15 and I was pissed. Then they pushed it out to 20 and I was literally ordering IPA drafts, and I don’t drink beer!!!

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It was ridiculous. Sure, if you look at the score, you’ll see that Duke came back and made a game of it and yes, I was encouraged by the heart they showed to do that, but believe me, this was NOT a close game. Miami whupped up on Duke from pillar to post. I mean, literally, in all phases of the game. I just don’t get it.

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Even JJ couldn’t believe it. Sure, Miami came out and gave us trouble with their match up zone. But Duke looked like they had never seen a zone before. I mean, we were throwing up off balanced threes like there were 50 seconds left in the game and this was at the 15:00 minute mark in the second half!! Our team defense was deplorable.

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Gerald Henderson was INVISIBLE. Yes, he sacked up and hit a big three down the stretch, but this guy just can’t be right physically. I don’t get it, he looks like an NBA first rounded for 2/3 of the season and next thing you know, he’s channeling Mike Chappelle out there.

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Hey, G.. If you’re not good to play, then just don’t. I mean, heal up and come back when you’re ready. But I feel like Andre 3000 when he was writing Elevators, “this shit here must stop, like freeze.” My word. I mean, I’m just at a loss. The freshmen suddenly looked like Freshmen. Yes, Scheyer ended up playing well in the second half, but homey’s play for the first 35 minutes was relatively incongruous, off-key and out of sync.

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Duke loses, 95-96 and suddenly that supposed locked up No. 1 seed and ACC regular season title looks about as guran-damn-teed as that Central Campus bus picking you up on-time. Lordy… IPA fueled rant over.

– Lake

Superman Dat Dunk: The Dunk Contest is Back!

February 18, 2008

Dwight Howard really took it to another level last night.  For the first time since Vince Carter, someone actually thought of some dunks that have not been seen before.  First of all, he threw it off the backboard and caught it for a windmill dunk.  You’ve seen it before, right?  Naaaaaaah meng.  He threw it off the back of the backboard.

That was the first dunk of the night.  Then he broke out this one:

That was the best piece of dunk contest theater since Dee Brown pumped up his Reeboks back in 1991.  He really threw that joint in the rim though, it looked extra aggressive.

This is still the best dunk of all time though.

When Vince broke that joint out, it was really the craziest thing I had ever seen.

-Brock

Yawn: Duke whips Maryland again

February 14, 2008

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I think this bum Cliff Tucker pretty much sums up the dynamic between Maryland and our stalkers in a half shell, those idiot Murrland Terps:

“I cannot stand Duke.” Tucker said. “I tell people all the time, if they gave me a scholarship (yeah right) and that was my only Division I scholarship, I’d go Division II or something like that. I would never, ever go there (no kidding, you’d never ever get in). I don’t know what it is (I do, you’re on “Dook’s” nut sack). I can’t stand Duke.”

Hey, I hear the legendary Cliff Tucker.

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If I scored 4 and 2 points in each of my first two, double digit loss, games against Duke, I’d hate them too. I know, I know, he said that BEFORE he took those two ass whippings and sucked up the place with inferior play, but clearly Duke is on his mind so much that he was bound to that that L.  Hey Cliff, get your game up before you start talking shit.

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Even Herm Edwards things you should tone it down some until you actually do something in this league.  But did you enjoy Kyle Singler dropping 3 after 3 on your hapless ass defense?

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Did you like how well you’re team played only to take yet another double digit beat down?   Your team is not good.  Sure you can get up and challenge Duke or even beat a lazy ass Carolina team, but what about American and Ohio?  You know when we see results like that, we feel very much like Greg Paulus did during the game.

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It’s just hilarious.  Oh and enjoy this little run you’re making in the ACC, save for the Duke losses of course, because as soon as Osby and Gist don’t graduate and leave your team, for the NBDL, your going to get even worse.  I know, I know, you’ll have some new Juco thug come in to play in the post.  Yes, I know that’s true.  Gary is a beauty.

– Lake

UNC shows little heart as Duke rolls 89-78

February 7, 2008

The way I see it the difference in the game was that Duke came out with Kurt Angle’s three I’s: Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence, three adjectives most UNC fans are likely unfamiliar with.

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But seriously, this game was a relative snoozer from the middle of the first half. You knew Duke was going to win, it was just a matter of waiting for UNC to die that slow, uninspired death. With the exception of Tyler Hansbrough (and possibly Ty Lawson) does anybody on that squad have any heart?

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I mean, where was the pride? Where was the commitment to protect that home court? After these cats lost their Point Guard it just looked like someone came in and stole their lunch money but their big brother happened to be out of town and couldn’t protect them anymore. What a joke.

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Believe me, this was NOT a close game. Duke was the superior team, really from start to finish, but most striking was how much tougher Duke was that the Tar Heels. There’s no doubt that things would have been different had Lawson played and it’s unfortunate that UNC lost him to that ankle sprain.

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Is that an ankle brace or a gobment electronic monitoring device? My bad. But on the real, if the Refs weren’t under the delusion that Tyler Hansbrough can play a tough, physical brand of basketball and virtually NEVER foul, this would have been a legitimate blow out.

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What is this cat doing? Seriously, how many times does Hansbrough just run into his defender where it’s automatically a foul on the defense? How often does he wrestle for a rebound and then suddenly it’s against the other guy? I’ve watched him in other games and it’s the same story, hell, in my broadcast, Packer called him “A Great White Shark.” Well, that’s close to what he is, but I’ll just leave that be (for now).

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Anyway, it was a solid Duke win with more than a few gut checks from the fellas and plenty of balanced scoring across the team.

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GREG PAULUS WAS NAILS from three and just played an overall great game. He feasted on Thomas, who apparently didn’t get the memo that Greg is water from deep. Not only did he shoot 6-8 behind the arch, but they were clutch shots to boot. The UvT game ball definitely goes to the Syracuse brawler, Gregory P.

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He really sacked up. It’s kind of hilarious to say it, but UNC really had no answer for him. The rest of the fellas just played smart and within themselves with six guys scoring in double figures. I can’t lie, it was good to see Scheyer get going too.

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He was all over the court tonight, making plays and just letting the play come to him.

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That crowd full of hicks, most of whom were more consumed with their placement on Gerald Henderson’s nut sack than on the actual play in the game, got just what they deserved.

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No seriously, tell me exactly what these two chicks “wanted” from Gerald?

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Exactly. I guess those UNC guys just aint hittin it right.

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Definitely not. Those inbreds “wanted” Gerald and that’s exactly what they got.

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Happy? Now go vote for Mike Huckabee, strum that ukulele with your underfed hound howling in the background and just remember not to take 2 girls and a dude home with you after you drawn your sorrows in your best batch of Carolina Blue moonshine you undoubtedly prepared for tonight’s game..yall hear? Next... (literally).

Duke Blue Devils
STARTERS MIN FGM-A FTM-A OFF REB AST PF PTS
K. Singler, F 37 5-11 1-2 2 10 2 3 14
L. Thomas, F 25 5-7 0-2 2 5 0 4 10
G. Henderson, G-F 29 5-10 2-6 3 7 3 3 12
D. Nelson, G 23 3-9 6-7 1 4 5 4 13
G. Paulus, G 31 6-9 0-2 0 3 3 4 18
BENCH MIN FGM-A FTM-A OFF REB AST PF PTS
J. Scheyer, G 33 4-11 7-8 2 6 3 1 17
N. Smith, G 13 2-5 0-0 0 0 0 3 5
D. McClure, F 7 0-2 0-0 1 2 0 2 0
T. King, F 2 0-2 0-0 0 0 0 0 0
TOTALS FGM-A FTM-A OFF REB AST PF PTS
  30-66 16-27 11 37 16 24 89
  45.5% 59.3%  
North Carolina Tar Heels
STARTERS MIN FGM-A FTM-A OFF REB AST PF PTS
D. Thompson, F 18 5-6 2-3 3 5 0 5 12
T. Hansbrough, F 38 12-21 4-9 5 18 0 4 28
M. Ginyard, G-F 33 3-10 8-8 3 5 3 1 16
W. Ellington, G 34 3-14 2-2 2 5 2 4 8
Q. Thomas, G 35 4-8 2-4 0 3 7 4 10
BENCH MIN FGM-A FTM-A OFF REB AST PF PTS
D. Green, G-F 23 1-10 0-0 2 3 4 3 3
A. Stepheson, F 13 0-0 0-2 2 4 0 2 0
W. Graves, G-F 6 0-0 1-2 1 1 1 3 1
TOTALS FGM-A FTM-A OFF REB AST PF PTS
  28-69 19-30 18 44 17 26 78
  40.6% 63.3%  
TEAM REBS: 5

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Stay down!

Go Duke.

– Lake

Duke Versus UNC: The REAL Biggest Rivalry In Sports

February 6, 2008

Well is is sweeps Rivalry Week on ESPN, so it must be time for the greatest rivalry of all time, Duke Versus UNC. Before I get started, how the hell did ESPN think they could stretch the Duke/UNC game into an entire week of games? Kentucky v. Florida? Sure I guess… Missouri v. Kansas? That isn’t making the top ten best rivalry list. Nova v. St. Joe’s? Nah player. Anyway, I digress.

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And I know you all hate it, but as far as UvT is concerned, Duke will always be Us and Carolina will always be Them. Does it get better than this? Duke is #2, Carolina is #3, these are two of the best teams in the nation, they have a history of putting on a great game, oh yeah, and starting point guard Ty Lawson is hurt…

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Go Duke.

Just kidding, we’d rather beat them at full strength just to remove all the excuses. We need Paulus, Demarcus, and Henderson to bring their “A” game tonight if we are going to win this one. This is going to be a true battle of backcourt versus front court as the Duke guards are going to be scrapping with the big boys all night.

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You know Psycho T is going to try to be the hero. Last time he tried that, he ended up looking like this:

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Then he ended up looking like this:

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Oh yeah, you know that the Dean Dome faithful are supposed to be a “wine and cheese” crowd. Why do they call that crowd “wine and cheese”? Well, Sam Cassell said it and he meant that the crowd was usually more full of ex-cotton and tobbacy growers and big time boosters than it is real College hoops fans. I can’t lie, they usually have their students up in the nose bleeds. At any rate, you got to remember that this is UNC, so if the crowd is wine and cheese, it’s gotta be Velveeta and Boones Farm because these people aren’t the most cultured folks you’ll ever see.

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I mean, until the North came down and liberated them from themselves, their idea of a restaurant was the local Waffle House.

In the spirit of Super Tuesday, let’s count up the votes to figure out who is down with Us.

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You know the Duke Blue Devil is down with us.

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Duke Nukem is down with us.

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Dukie from “The Wire”. Ok, I’m not trying to clown, but why does this cat look exactly like Lance Thomas in this picture? LOL….damn.

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The Dukes of Hazzard. With Daisy Duke on top of that car UvT might have to do a throwback ladies post in the near future.

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Finally, The Duke, John Wayne is always in our corner. In fact The Duke once said, “Life is tough, but tougher when you’re stupid”. No wonder it is so hard to be a Carolina fan.

-Brock

I just noticed, Vitale is gone

February 5, 2008

Yeah, I read about Dick Vitale’s voice issue. It didn’t phase me that much to be honest. Ultimately, I’m luke warm to Mr. Vitale.

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Yeah, he brought some excitement to college hoops back in the day, but truth be told, the game sells itself nowadays. This aint the 80s. We don’t need all that foolishness. And in a world of over the top wildness in general, Dick’s shtick, like that of those damn Cameron Crazies by the way, is really just played out. Back in the day it was cool because everyone else was so stogy. But now in the era of Booyaaaaw-esque catch phrases, wild ESPN commercials and mass media, Dick’s game is relatively weak. Truth be told, I don’t miss him. I don’t miss his over exuberance, his terrible and often incorrect analysis, the incessant dack riding of coaches he likes and most of all, I don’t miss hearing him talk about how much he loves Duke hoops.

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That dude is a major reason why we get shitted on by refs, ignorant fans and other coaches. Sheeyut, we’d be winning games without his tomfoolery, so that’s but no thanks. Give me Sean Dockerty, Clark Kellogg, hell, even Jay Bilas.

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Just give me the basics, I don’t need all that yelling, self dealing and other assorted foolishness.. Dick, I’d never wish any ill on you and I want you to get well….just not soon and definitely not for the UNC v. Duke game on Wednesday. Terrible.

– Lake