Archive for the ‘Assology’ Category

Thick White Woman Alert: USC Soccer Star Megan Ohai

July 29, 2008

All I know is that somebody needs to check the post count ‘for he be talking about Lake falling down on the job. Hey, Lake don’t blog unless it’s for a worthy cause. I aint been inspired, so like Oran Juice Jones, “Instead I chilled“. Ya dig? But bumping around the net today, I saw something that did catch my eye. Dats right, another thick white woman gone public. Meet Megan Ohai, an All-American soccer star from Utah (they got thickness in Utah?) who now makes her home at USC:

Pedestrian you say? “Yeah, so what” you quip? Sure, but have you familiarized yourself with angle 2?

And in case you’re wondering, I’m not talking about the emaciated zebra on the left. Nah, we’re hunting big game at usversusthem. And what I love about this chick is that she reminds me so much of babes I grew up with. You know the ones. Back in the day they were dissed for being “boxy” or “bulky”. Basically they were dissed for being that softball girl we all knew.

That’s right, I don’t buy that the new white girl ass is really all that new. Nah, it’s just out, exposed and celebrated now for all to see. Remember our Cheerleader friend from Indiana University (NSFW and ALL)?

One version of the previously underground thick white chick was this same highly coordinated and athletic type who had to do everything she could to keep that fat and unappreciated ass out of harms way lest she be tormented and persecuted for her beneath(s). Consequently, dat ass had to go stealth with a series of button ups, long tees and sweaters. It was hidden, along with the advanced thigh, so that the closest you ever got to seeing the goods was this:

Uh huh. See the KFC thigh? See the arched up back piece and the nebulous wonder twins activating up under the hook? See, if you can’t see it, it’s because you just don’t have an eye for it. I know, I was once like you. I couldn’t appreciate it. I had to have it spelled out for me. But now I see a pic like the one above, engage my Lake-Ray vision and see all the possibilities, namely:

Hello! Hot dammit and yes you do have to take away a quarter point for the excessive lean, but hey, it’s all good. And you know what really hilarious about this pic? Look at ole zebra trying to pull her ass out like she’s sittin on them thangs, poor thing. I think Weezy said it best in A Milli:

You’re like a (chick) with no ass, you aint got shit!

And that bemused look on her face, that’s what happens when you realize that a revolution has started up, but you’re not on board. It’s the same face Ole Mayne McCain had when President Obama was rocking the house in Berlin (incidentally, if cats in Germany have Obama-mania, given their wild history, don’t you pretty much think it’s a wrap for John Boy?).

It’s the look of defeat. She knows she can’t compete. Oh and I know what the true connoisseurs of the lady are thinking, “Ok, she’s got the arse, but what about the rest of her, I mean, I can live with a semi butterface, after all we all have at one point or another, but what about the front Lake, wuz up with THAT?”… I got you homies. But I must say, my findings are mixed. Here we have skrong athletic belly.

Which is very cool, by the way, ole Petra Cotton tail over there looks kinda cute, but that outfit looks like a Spencer’s gifts special, ok? Just terrible dude. But then once you go to that angle 1.5, it starts to get a lil dicey for young Meg.

I know, I know, I just don’t know women’s bodies and every woman has that little pooch. Maybe, but how can I discern the pooch from the suck in?

I own know. I suspect we just caught her in the off season, because this shot right ‘chere is juuust about right if you account for thick white woman arse credentials and a KFC bloodline on them legs:

And I do repeat, if you’re not working but with one thang below the waist, you’re just not living your life right guys. Trust me, you gotta learn to work a chick like this. Now see, I bet some dude named ‘Kirk’ is bullshittin on this babe right now. Cat aint touched a thigh, has yet to tenderize that rump…I mean, just has no clue.

How do I know that, because I was once that way. Us white dudes, we keep it old school until someone shows us the light. It’s pretty basic. You start at the J, then you let her focus on you, then you just go straight in for the smash.

It’s a damn shame too. Now that I’m an old school player, I’d be firing up the Kingsford on some slow roast with this babe. You can’t let that fire burn too hot, gotta let it marinate my nillaz. Don’t worry, stick with me, I’ll learn ya.

– Lake

The Ladies of Summer

July 22, 2008

I’m not feeling very creative, funny or inspired, so I figured I’d hook up a post for the fellas and by fellas I mean for MYSELF. Anyway, our first lady of summer is Jessica Simpson. You how people say someone walks like they’re “butt driven” or “hips driven”? Well, until now I’ve never seen someone who looks “Tits Driven” (incidentally, when you’re talking about an old school chick like Jess, you definitely say “Tits”, ya know. You keep it old school, “I Love the 80s” real… it’s only right):

Lol. That’s a pretty crazy forward lean, right? It seriously looks like the Js are pulling her (and me) forward. Who knows. Apparently she got boo’d at some country concert.

Jeez, her without those boobs out is like me without my money. It just aint right on any level.

Who would have thought, oh 5 years ago, that her sister would be married to a legitimate rock star and on her way to having a baby while Jess and those great breasts would be single, taken for all her damn loot cakes by her no talent ex and getting boo’d at concerts? Tough. She does look good in that dress though, I’ll give her that. Speaking of a chick that looks good who I’m not usually all that excited about, check out Anna Kournikova at fashion week.

“Hello, hello, Dey know, dey know!”

Oh and I remember Will from “The” Ohio State talking about Rosario Dawson’s breasts back in the day. I’m sure you all already peeped it, but oh well, here we go:

Best cat in the entire pic, that little kid who can’t believe Rosario is working that hose so right. Damn, I didn’t know babygirl was packing like that. But what happened to the rest of her? I guess we’re all getting older. NEXT.

Oh, it’s our favorite Governator Ashley Dupre in a Bikini.

Boy that midsection is slick, but with that mini bottom she can’t be packing too much in the back. Anyway, I’m feeling the wild accessories and tat, so I’m going to give her a thumbs up for this pic. I’m also somehow comforted to know that I’m only looking at a 3 diamond level ho on the 7 diamond must scale. I mean, it’s good to know that in this economy, at least something is holding value out here.

And what would a summer post be without UvT fav Christina Millian?

Huh? I like the enthusiasm but something aint right here. Maybe I need a new t shirt printed up with the phrase “No Reduced Ass Ness” etched on the front. Come on now, I can only hope that angle two is better.

Better, yes, but only slightly. I may require a sex tape to clear this one up. Yikes. I hope she doesn’t have Amy Winehouse disease. Babygirl aint looking right at all. I don’t want to have to downgrade her, but this is NOT what I wanted to see for my Summer bunnies post. Terrible.

– Lake

Idiot Bloggers Got This J-Lo Thing All Wrong…

July 10, 2008

Everyone knows I’m about as in tune with the issues of American womanhood as any real man could be. Hell, I’m almost a card carrying feminazi. And that’s why I have to go ahead and call out all these ridiculous blogs talking about how Jennifer Lopez needs to stop rocking her bikini because she’s “fat” now. Fat? This is fat?

Sheeeit, if that’s fat, then I must be broke, water must be dry, up is really down, Duke might really win that National Championship and Bounty really is that quicker picker upper. Fat? The woman just had some wild sperm donor errr Mark Anthony twins like last week or something. I think she bounced back pretty lovely.

Now see. That aint quite Mel B. bounce back. I mean, I heard that chick was doing crunches in the recovery room, but let’s be veeeery clear here: J Lo has the look of a Milf in this very picture we’re looking at right now. How dare you low life bloggers call her fat.. Don’t you know what that can do to the body image of our young American girls. Shame on you. Besides, isn’t it what’s inside that counts? Damn, I’m just disgusted by this utter lack of perspective and focus on the purely superficial.

And besides, if there’s one thing that’s fat on Jennifer, it’s dat ass.

And believe me, it’s been like that for a while and it’s good.

Appreciated too. I feel sorry for a cat who looks at that and just can’t muster up the requisite “got daaaaaamn”… You really aint hittin right. No matter what your lady’s got.

– Lake

Bow Wow Checks Some Video “Vixens”

June 19, 2008

I’m still totally faded right now from the C’s win and the aftermath, but I would be remiss if I didn’t hit up this little tidbit I saw the other day on the net. I guess some video hoez got into a room, talked about the exact topics we all probably expect they speak of in every conversation of every single day, ie. Men with Money, Dack Size, Sex, people who want to have sex with them, their asymmetrically thick bodies, “the Industry” (whatever that means) and their “fame”.. I mean, the only thing missing was a line of coke and a knock off Fendi bag, ya dig? I mean, I don’t expect these chicks to be geniuses, but at least try not to be sooooo stereotypical.

Oh well, I guess that’s what happens to you when you’ve been getting hit off since the 6th grade eeeerrrr men have been trying to have sex with you since you hit puberty at the age of 12 1/2. Anyway, some chicken headz were talking greasy about Bow Wow and Mr. Wow just wasn’t having it. Peep the commentary from Dollicia Bryan and Rita G. that set the Lil Man off:

Wait a second, all the disses are fine (well, not really), but did that chicken Rita G. (NSFW) actually fix her mouth (like Collagen) to say she’s of “Moorish descent”? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Say what? I mean, dude, if that chick is of “Moorish descent”, my extra grand grand grand pappy on my mother’s side was kicking it with the Berbers (alright, that’s probably a bit too esoteric for the homies at UvT) back in Negative 2008 B.C. with Lucy, those Geico Cavemen (back when they were funny), the Missing Link and Mumm-Ra the Ever Living.

Chick, you’re Moorish alright.

Meaning you talk More “ish” that what I can take. (Rita G. NSFW HERE)

And More Ass than anyone could have hoped or dreamed for…damn. But back to the non physical substance. Is this babe serious? Come on.. I mean, dude, why can’t we just let a hoe be a hoe these days. What happened to the days when chicks were black, white, afro centric asian or spanish, done? Was it just me or were things much easier back in those days?

Don’t start in with all this “well, I’m actually Hammurabian on my father’s side, well, my biological father….but I grew up Navajo, so I’m really in touch with the earth, dats were I got deez KFC thighs, from that side and then I was messing with this dude, named Brock las- nite, so I got some black in me too” AHHHHHNT. Ok, that was lo, but what can I say? I’m still drunk from the C’s game.

But listen, and this is my last word on this narrow topic, but if you ever ask someone what race they are (which you probably shouldn’t be doing anyway, but I get it as it relates to video and non video hoes) and they start their answer with “actually”: 1. They’re about to lie to you, 2. They’re bullshit and 3. They’re probably good in bed and do freak nasty shit while rounding third base that will leave you wonder why you even need to slide into home…ummmkay?

Listen to uncle Lake.. ha I ask a hot and legitimately exotic babe where she’s from and I get an answer in 1.85 seconds…I ax a ho where she’s from and suddenly I’m in North Africa, Southern Europe and some short-named wild card spot like oh I don’t know, “Bali” that nobody can really confirm. Meanwhile, you ask the broad “Ok, where did you go to High School” and invariably they’ll tell you Greenbelt, Maryland…. Lord knows I don’t like to curse but:

And I wasn’t the only one who didn’t like Rita G’s Act. Peep what Bow Wow had to say not only about Rita G. but also about his supposedly jump off Dollicia Bryan.

Oh yeah, that Dollicia, peep it:

WOW. I didn’t know Bow Wow had it in him. And yo, that joint was produced and delivered with perfection , too. Damn, dude reaaaaally got at Dollicia. Ha. Man, what is wrong with these video hoes? Keep acting like this and they’ll fail to land that all important paid Baby Daddy angle they’ve been working their whole lives for. Come on. These chicks gotta know they’re one set of stretch marks away from going back on that pole. Sure, they’ll hit up the Client 9 circuit for a bit, but even that is a temporary job. Tell em Bow… These chicks shouldn’t have anything but praise for a dude like you. When will they learn?

– Lake

===================Update===============

Not that we didn’t know the Dollicia chick was a groupie video ho clown, but I came across a few more pics that are fairly hilarious within this context. First, Dollica and her old squeeze Jamie Foxx as he gets a nice squeeze.

Again, perfectly ok without the Bow Wow talk. So Jamie is getting his ‘bag o’ tricks I’m ole st. nick….bitch’ act on. It’s all good and oh, what was that about Dollicia and Bow?

Yeah, sure… Seems like Bow Wow is completely out of his ‘comfort zone’ and you look completely offended. Kind of like in this next pic.

It’s so terrible that it’s good. Ha. Bow Wow has a new fan….BROCK.. ahnt. ha

Beauty and a Beast

June 13, 2008

All this synthetic talk requires me to bring it back to some wholesome goodness that only the lawd could have made and I’m not talking about “the Hugh Heffner on High” either. lol Meagan Good is a Top 5 UvT talent.

And while I’m not a big fan of this dress, even Lake can cut a lady some slack on a Friday.

Yes indeed… Not too much, but definitely enough. I guess “now stop, oh, and wiggle wit it (yeah)” wouldn’t be appropriate. Is that cat “throwing the yo” behind her? Probably….

Now compare that to the Gel Ass we’ve been discussing of late. I don’t mind admitting that it’s been on my mind for a minute. I’m thinking 1. How can I tell if we have a case of “Gel Assness” and 2. Would I give a damn if I suspected or even knew a babe was rolling with a “Gel Bottom”?

Well, we’ve got part one figured out….

It’s too punchy, right? Plus that bedazzling on the thigh told me everything I needed to know. Lock it in, we’ve got a rubber butt. And this time, oddly enough, I don’t like it. UvT is still officially neutral on the fake ass though. I don’t know, we’ll see.

– Lake

Are You Gellin’? The Kardashian Arse Debate Rages On

June 12, 2008

If you’re a loyal reader of UvT you know there has been a crazy debate about Kim K’s ass in the comments section.

A self described and admitted ass geller (lol) “Zsa Zsa Cookie” told us that she knows Kardashian’s ass is not real. She further alleges that Kardashian’s dumper is filled up with the same substance, ass-a-licious love gel, that she put into her very own ass to give herself that synthetic thunder.

I shit you not. And then, she commanded me to google that “Hydrogel Butt Injections” to prove her point. Well, sheeeit, as a committed life long learner, you know her will I did obey and what I learnt astonished me. WOW.. There really is some wild chick flying around the country, selling bagged up ass to the highest bidder! What is this, some kind of bastardized Robin Hood, rob from the lab, give to the needy stripper? And it appears that dat ass is selling like HOE CAKES!!! Dude, I’m like my boy Will from the comments, if the ass gel is so good and so effective in the fight against negative arse-ness, why doesn’t everyone have it? Or do they?

Right and that’s when you start to feel those walls closing in on you. I mean, could you have been hittin gel for all these years and not even know it? If you were running your hands through Barbaro Mane for the better part of your adult life, why not?

Just as an aside, don’t you love how they make the broad so miserable in the “before” pic? I mean, she aint got no lip chap, is in desperate need of Proactiv and from the looks of it just got popped for trying to lift condoms from her local 7-11. I mean, basically they give you a mug shot, right? Then it’s weave time and everything changes. Suddenly our convicted felon has the custom fit and feel of Aubrey from Making the Band. And yes, I’ll resist expounding on Aubrey….this time.

Yo, I’m here to say that I can’t tell you if Kimmy K’s ass is gellin’ like magellean, ok? Lola Luv’s neither.

What I can tell you is that they’re both banging like a benzy and just like Mario Winans, I don’t wanna know. I mean, if you’re gellin, keep it on the lo.

Dude, let’s just try to put that crazy Angel Lola Luv arse into perspective.

I mean, it’s just hilarious to actually think for a microsecond that such an ass could even possibly be “real”. I mean, come on. Has ANYONE seen a body like that? Fine, I’ve seen asses that big, but they’re attached to a regulation sized lower back, a skrong thigh and study calf. I mean, could her shit be any more out of proportion?

I just don’t have that kind of expertise, but the ladies in the comments sections, some that have first ass errr hand knowledge of today’s technology, swear up and down that her ass (and Kimmy K’s) is as phony as a $3 bill.

Man, I hate this shit. It’s like when I first learned that chicks had weaves. Dude, literally, I really didn’t know and I aint been right since! I mean, you can’t trust anything these days. Double D breass-tah-sis have to be looked upon with suspicion, sub prime mortgage backed securities got my 401k actin’ a bitch, Jello allegedly has swine hoof in it (that’s why it’s so good?), and Petro costs $5 a gallon!!! I can’t trust long silky hair without a background check and two witnesses from the hairdressers. 1 in 4 mufuckas in NYC have herpes and now ass aint even ass! Seriously, this is what you call Lake Arlington hell. Forget the culture wars, can a nilla get a honest and wholesome table dance?

Oh yes, it’s all fucked up.

– Lake

New Kind of “Flavor” of Love: Buckeey Sex Tape

May 28, 2008

Wow, new evidence that the Sex Tape Gods are good.

Remember a few weeks ago when I asked for the gods to bring me a new sex tape? Then remember how I professed my guilty admiration for Shay “Buckeey” Johnson, not once, but twice? Sure you do.

Well, once I came back from my crawfish extravaganza over Memorial Day Weekend I woke up to glorious tales of Buckeey Sex Tapes. I did a quick search and *bang* there it was! And oh yes, IT WAS the Buck-meister herself, showing some skills that certainly can pay her billz. And even better, the dirty deeds all went down to some hilarious and appropriate “Jaws” inspired music. I mean, on the rizzeal, peep that NSFW video right HERE or check out the far less inspiring but completely NSFW still shots right here.

Daaaamn. Can I ask, what’s up with women and that “I just got F’d” look yall get. I mean, if I showed you the above pic and you were mildly familiar with getting some arse, you’d know for certain that someone was just getting deep on this broad. Anyway, I appreciate the effort Shay put into this venture, in fact, I think she should quite whatever career she now proclaims to have and just concentrate on big belly dude sex tapes. And don’t get me wrong, I know mostchicks can handle their basic biz in the bedroom, but it’s just nice to get some confirmation that they definitely can (or in Kim Kardashian’s case, can’t) too. I also appreciated the full on post mic check and back-shot “press conference” where she hooked up the completely gratuitous: “Yes, he just nutted all over me” commentary.

Damn, the blog readers may want to rethink their position on chicken headz, baby mamas, video hoes and gold diggers. Now I see why cats kick it with these broads. I mean, that was like watching Miss New Booty, only better.

Now I’ll need to ax the sex tape gods for that Flavor of Love 3 chick “Black’s” sex tape.

Wow, do yall see that hook on picture two? Jeez, she’s got some thangs going on! I mean, baby girl has a body that won’t quit and anyone that dated TO is alright with me as long as she’s a woman (am I the only one who thinks TO might be a bit suspect?).

Also, I mean, come on. A white girl named “Black;” it just doesn’t get any better than that. Sex Tape Gods, I beseech you, bring me more video and reality hizzies unto me: ooooooooohhhhmmmmm…..

– Lake

————UPDATE——————-

Damn Lake. I thought you never watched. All the previous joints were tapes “you heard about from a guy, to said he might have seen it, and said that if you click here you might be able to go see what I’m talking about.” But I guess Buckeey brought you straight to the raw uncut, huh? Hey, I understand. Aside from Hoopz and the new Ms. Black she’s definitely one of the baddest Flavor of Love chicks out there.

Now wasn’t there a rumor that UvT favorite Andre 3000 was hitting that back in the day? I’m sure he knew nothing about this tape. Andre, did you hit it?

You damn right he hit it…and he’d do it again. Don’t let the gear and interpretational singing fool you. Andre is still straight ATL when he needs to be. The best thing about this tape? All the other tapes are always some dumb shit the chick did years ago before they knew they were going to blow up, or from when “they were in love”…this joint looks like it could have been recorded last week. Great.

-Brock

Mini Thunder: Tiny Tail Appreciation Day

May 22, 2008

Sometimes you see something that let’s you remember what the days were like before the Vida Guerra and Angel Lola Luv or even Jessica Biel thunder storms were embraced in mainstream popular culture.  Yep, this chick’s ass has that old school “it’s tiny, it’s tooney” sex appeal and I don’t mind admitting that I do in fact like it.

Now see, I think we’ll need to run this tail through Brock’s assology tests, but seeing this reminds me how these skinny lil chick truly ran shit back in the Hair Band-Heavy Metal days.  Side angle please.

Now see.  This is where you really separate the thunder from the thunderette.  That side view is oh so informative and it doesn’t lie.  There really isn’t much depth there at all, but what’s there is shaped fairly well and as Andre 3000 said, it’s “something that fits well on her body.”  But let’s face it, the thigh is neither here nor nigh and you couldn’t scrape up enough leg meat to make a KFC two piece salad.

My only question is whether this tail is pre or post squats and lunges?  If it’s pre, she might truly be working with a little something en route to moderately thick white woman status.  If it’s post, well, then I can only applaud her for beating back the negative arse virus that so many of my people are susceptible to. 

Yep, that’s the money shot.  Let me just tell you.  To me, this ass is the ultimate compromise.  I mean, I have friends who will tell you that they don’t even care about a woman’s ass at all because “I don’t use it.”  Shocking but true.  And then I have boys like Brock who insist on that thick thunder or they’ll just walk out of the room.  As an advanced white dude I can honestly say that while I don’t think this is a “fucking great ass” like some of these other simple-minded bloggers have called it, I do think it’s objectively respectable and workable.  All in all, this ass is indicative of where we all need to come together as a united people.  Don’t get me wrong, if I had it my way, we’d all stop off at Kardashian’s or Vida’s ass.  But this ass right here, in my view, represents something we can all agree on for now at least, namely, that most of us would hit and use dat ass to the best of it’s ability. 

Am I right or am I right?  And no I didn’t say what her name is because as the Rock used to say, “it doesn’t matter what your name is”…. Ok, Kristen Bell, happy?

– Lake

Bow Wow’s Chick Brings that THUNDER!

May 22, 2008

Hey, if there is one thing that’s for certain, it’s that they will continue to produce ridiculously hot babes.  Take this chick for instance, Dollicia Bryan, she’s basically the next Vida Guerra and I’m happy to have made her acquaintance. 

Wow, say what you want about that King, but they bring the heat more often than they don’t.  I can’t believe Lil Bow Wow bagged this broad, but I guess it’s true.

Sheeeeeeeeeiiiit!  That cat is looking like he’s seeing some things, man.  One more. 

That aint no airbrush neither.  Damn.  Something tells me, we’ll be seeing more of this chick.  I know, I know, Video Hizzie is just like the skrip who is just like the pro and the knee bone is connected to the hip bone.. i know. 

– Lake

Thickness Defined: ASHANTI!!!

May 15, 2008

Dude, maybe it’s just me (it’s not) but has anyone noticed that Ashanti is looking FAN-TABULOUS lately? My word!!! I mean, it’s like every picture of her I see is yet another piece into a tapestry of “GOT DAMN“-ness. So you know I had to ask the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Is Ashanti UvT Quality? We’ll start with “Classy” Ashanti and work our way down:

Very nice. And don’t think that angle on picture one around the middle hip area is lost on me, either…IT’S NOT. In fact, this was the first picture of her that made me let out a Scooby Doo inspired “Zoinks”. Then I saw some more:

Uhhhhhhhhhh, s-s-s-s-say whaaaaaat?!!!! Talk about thick. Fair enough, it’s the JLo gimmick and I get that. But are you fucking serious? Dude, Nelly aint gonna ever need to roll by Popeye’s or KFC again. I mean, I see thigh, breast, fuck, sides and all the damn fixins’!!! BUT DON’T FORGET THE HONEY!!! WOW. Dude, now I know what it’s like to be sippin on that purple stuff because I’ve been in a daze ever since I first laid eyes on this picture. Honestly, where does it start, how can it stop? MY WORD!!! I grudingly move on to exhibit 3, B, IV, shit, who am I?

“I need an around the way girl, that’s the one for meeeeee!!!!!!”

Can I get a J check?

Oh yes indeed. On the real, how many hours per day must this babe put in that gymnasium? 2, 3 or 4? Which brings me back to the question of her UvT Quality status. I say HELL YES. I mean, I believe in a republican (little R) form of blogging and I know I can’t just make unilateral decisions, but do I really have to wait for Brock to scream from the mountain tops: “YES, YES ASHANTI IS UvT QUALITY!!!!!!” I should wait you say?

How about now? That under cheek shot is always a doozy. As my boy “JP” in Manhattan by way of Louisiana would say “she’s very attractive”… yes she is my man, YES. SHE. IS! Angle two on that thigh please:

My goodness!!! With all that leg, she’s about to put KFC out of business. HELP!

– Lake

————-UPDATE——————-

Good eye, Lake.  Good eye.  Ashanti was looking good as hell in that King Magazine spread back in the day, and she definitely looks lovely in that white dress.  You know what’s messed up though?  Ashanti without the personal trainer, dietician, and will to achieve ends up looking like this:

Yup.  That’s Ashanti’s little sister Shia…Shi-Shi what day call her.  If Ashanti has pulled back from one ham sandwich away status to weekend bender with chili cheese fries away status, lil’ Shi-shi here just pushed back from Thanksgiving dinner.  Be aware people, be aware.

-Brock