Kat DeLuna And Other Horrible National Athems

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Listen, if you’re destined to be an R&B star, an actress or even just a solid citizen, just go ahead and be proud of who you are, but don’t fuck with the Star Spangled Banner.  First of all, it’s not really an easy song to sing.  It starts low, goes high and just has a veritable minefield of dynamics and notes that are challenging for even the most advanced singers.  Still, not surprisingly, plenty of cats want to sing it and can’t.  I especially don’t appreciate a cat who tries to put all kinds of personal freaks on the song.   You know, when they add in that extra soul sauce so they can really nail the joint.  I think that’s where Kat DeLuna aka Tina Marie Jr. Jr. went wrong:

Jeez… Can you be a “Pop Sensation” and have a speech impediment?  A few pitch problems maybe?  Lol  Yooo, that “Land of the Free” was CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, even Simon was speechless after that joint.

And by the way, who in the hell is Kat DeLuna?

Damn, thick in the thigh, light in the eye and jeez, the FIRST and ONLY chick I’ve seen that actually sold those high waist shawt shorts, respek.  But why do that when you can always freak the original shorts?

Damn, I need another angle on this:

Wow, that’s a lot of hip for a young girl.  Interesting.  Let’s just hope she steers clear of the enhanced breast plate.  Anyway, I like that first name, Kat.  Ha.  Aint nothing wrong with that, but is she talented enough, well, musically?

Anyway, Kat’s cat ass performance got my thinking, what’s the worst rendition of the Star Spangled Banner I’ve ever heard, oh yes, Carl Lewis’ for sure:

Hilarious.  And while we’re in the jabbing mood, look how this cat murdered the Anthem words:

My goodness.  Haaaaaaaaa  And all those “Middle Amuricans” were just hating my man killing that song.  Come on people, please get those words right, ok?  And if you get into pitch problems on “Rocket’s Red Glare” pull a Carl Lewis and take that “Land of the Free” an octave down, ok?  Oh fuck it, here’s one more.  This cat just tried to power through it.

Ha, terrible.  Thanks for nothing.  USA, USA, USA….

– Lake

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9 Responses to “Kat DeLuna And Other Horrible National Athems”

  1. KIR in NV Says:

    @Lake: Amen, my brother, on those unnecessary vocal gymnastics performed on the anthem. Why do people insist on flossing with this song?

    Speaking of folks with no business getting near the mic in the first place, ‘memba that time Roseanne Barr tried to get funny with it? I don’t think we’ve heard from her since.

  2. Lake Arlington Says:

    Right, Rosanne was on the Bill Maher show the other night and I literally fast forwarded by her. She’s truly awful. And they did have her rendition available for this post, I iced it. Unfunny and just over all terrible.

  3. Will Says:

    Kat Deluna is a cutie-pie and thik in the thigh! Me likey!

  4. bqc20 Says:

    That police officer might be the funniest rendition of all time. “And the home of the freeeeee”…lol

  5. Killa Kaika Says:

    ok this is sick. You guys are slurping over a 13-year-old girl………or at least that’s how old she looks. :p I’m sure R. Kelly will have her on his next single.

  6. Todd Says:

    Not feeling Kat DeLuna at all. I’ve seen chicks on the street that looked better.

    Oh, and as far as the anthem goes…

    Carl Lewis: And the rockets….RED GLARE

    “Uh oh…”

    LMAO. That kills me everytime.

  7. Lake Arlington Says:

    Killa, she’s 21 homey.. but i think i feel you.

  8. Bookie Says:

    Awful …. they shouldn’t have anything but talented singers who are respectful of the National Anthem perform before games. Someone should supervise their renditions and not allow them to do all those crazy notes that really make the anthem sound like an R&B song

  9. The Lunatic is Running the Asylum « Us Versus Them Says:

    […] young ass […]

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