Man Up Monday: Fantasy Football “Geniuses”


I just want to start off by saying I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.  I could barely sleep last night, stayed in all day.  Only instead of toys, turkey and Christmas lights, I broke out the mini keg of Bell’s Oberon and rocked the homemade wings (buffalo and lemon pepper with a side of blue cheese) and fired up this HD NFL Sunday Ticket (rocking the main game on the projector with the “game mix” on the side with all the other games running simultaneously.)  My man cave is real.  The NFL is back.

And it is already great.  My Falcons and Michael Turner drug the hell out of the Detroit Lions.  Carolina came down to the wire.  T.O. had a crazy almost lost it behind his back catch, and my fantasy squad just broke the 100 point barrier to lead all teams.  Oh! Bears defensive TD!  Killing these fools.  Anyway, for those of you who follow Fantasy Football, the big prediction this year was that the traditional running back era was over and the the QB gives the best value in this years draft.  You see, normally running backs are the best fantasy players, they score the most touchdowns, they get the ball 25-30 times a game, and they end up being pretty durable.  This year, because Tom Brady and Randy Moss went wild, everyone said Brady was an early first rounder, as high as 3, he went 5 in my league.  They were also pumping Romo and Moss as other first rounders.  Well, here’s the risk with taking an early QB:

Brady may be out for the entire season with a knee injury which will kill the Patriots season.  Did I mention I picked last?  That means that although I didn’t want to, I ended up with Randy Moss and Peyton Manning in the first two rounds?  Who were my running backs?  Well for one, I got Michael Turner in the 3rd round…and he killed it today.  Oh and to the rest of the cats in my league, don’t even bother looking for Matt Cassel on Wednesday, my #1 waiver wire position puts him on my squad.  Thanks.

So now the Patriots season, and all those fantasy geniuses who just killed thousands of fantasy squads probably feel a lot like this:

So all the pros need to go back to the drawing board on trying to break out of tradition.  Oh, and everyone in my league better watch out.  I’m picking up right where I left off last year, dominating.

So to all the Fantasy prognosticators, to the New England Patriots, to Matt Cassel, to my man H. Larry who somehow inexplicably ended up with Tom Brady, Rudi Johnson and Vince Young, to the squad who would have beat every team in the league this week other than mine…MAN UP!  HAAAAAAAA!

-Brock the Week One Champ

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5 Responses to “Man Up Monday: Fantasy Football “Geniuses””

  1. otis Says:

    mannn what the hell first week not so much for me i have brady on a team and i just seen that one come crashing down with him being down i got him like 9th in the first round. thats why i hate taking qbs high but i got garrard as a backup so i guess ill just find a bye week filler so i bid adieu to tom terriffic little did i know ye.

  2. KIR in NV Says:

    On a semi-related note, can we all agree that dudes should NOT be spelling their first names ending with an “i” ala Rudi Johnson, Torii Hunter (double i – WTF? You still hot though), Eli Manning (this explains everything)? If your parents screwed up the spelling of your first name when you were born, go on ahead and fix that mess as soon as you turn 18.

  3. Slick Jefferson Says:

    @KIR: I’ll go ahead and add “and sometimes y” to that rule. And, yes, I’m talking to you Joey Harrington.

    What’s great is that the Y rule is so devious, it can even be extended to people like Brady Quinn.

  4. KIR in NV Says:

    @Slick: I second your motion. No grown ass man should be adding a “y” to his name in regular conversation. There is a notable exception to this rule: I may opt to add a “y” or “ie” to refer to any man I am particularly fond of as a term of endearment (i.e. “Lakey”), but I will pick my spots and not do it in situations where it could cause embarrassment.

  5. jared Says:

    Great McSame-Plain picture:

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