Bristol to Sarah Palin: “I Learned It By Watching YOU Mom”?


Who knows if Mrs. Palin is slaying more than “the good ole boys” (did anybody bother to tell her what party she’s in?) up in her little store front “City Hall” in Wasilla.

Look, my high school principal’s office looks more official than this shit.

All I know is that when someone holds themselves out as a “Champion of Moral Values” they’re usually not. I know, I know, she’s only mortal…right.  Of course, the moralizers always want to take that uppity high road (until people fuck up and then it’s all about “errybody makes mistakes” and “we’re all sinners”), talk all their shit about family values and the “good ole days of yore” when grandpappy and grandmama worked the land, said their prayers, refused to sit next to blacks errrr helped their neighbors and loved Amurica.   Sure.  Only, back in those days, grandpappy often had a family the next town over and grandmama was getting more than milk for the milkman, which is why your Uncle Jr. is the only one in the family to have red hair.  But that was the “greatest generation.”  Sure.  And it’s the same with this tabaccy spittin’, moose killin’, gun tottin’, unrecognizable accent havin’, Obama disparagin’, Tina Fey lookin’, ‘bridge to nowhere’ financial facts misrepresentin’, hair placed in several up positions rockin’, plane ebay sellin’, 4 errr 5 kids havin’, shotgun wedding endorsin’, Nature’s Valley Granola Bar kid namin’, running the point b-ballin’, not to mention yes yallin’ chick right here.

Awwww, who woulda thunk it.  A country girl, with a bad attitude, decent proportions (for 44) and kick ass reputation is under investigation for living out a real life “Somebody’s Sleeping In My Bed” scenario behind the back of her woefully less impressive Hubby.

And my man on the left doesn’t look too confident either. ha

Shoot, now I see how she got so cross-eyed, she’s over here trying to check out every Tom, Brick and Berry in town.  And I hate to say it, but it’s really freak 101 and anyone who has dealt with a freak and somehow gotten the history knows this to be true, but freak nasty runs in the family yall.  And if you don’t know, you better ax somebody.

Now we’re hearing that the fam was all up in arms when Bristol finally told them she was preggers.  I can imagine how that conversation went.

A true classic.  Not saying she banged out ole Not Mr. Palin either….I’m just saying, this is how she rolled in the 80’s.

And, no, I don’t think this is a photoshop.  ha

– Lake

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11 Responses to “Bristol to Sarah Palin: “I Learned It By Watching YOU Mom”?”

  1. Will Says:



    Woah she’s definitely rockin her hizzoe uniform to the fullest. I cant even front… her body is tight for a woman of her age… lol

  3. M Dog Says:

    She definitely looks like she hits after the whistle. Her husband might want to check all those kids’ DNA…

  4. otis Says:

    man its a wrap its funny to see people gettin excited bout her speech last night and today at the start of the day it was all happy but as people analyze her speech are like whoa whoa whoa wait a minute shawty u fudged that up

  5. Triple_B Says:

    3B’s in the house! I said 3B’s in the HOUSE! I say 3B’S in the HOU…WATCH YA MOUTH!

    Now i finally understand why Johnny Mac (not you John ) picked this one. Her politics are all wrong, her arguments are hypocrytical, and her hair is doin it’s own thang. This was a pure cuttability choice. Late nights in the White house, husbands at home with the kids and the kids’s kid. Maybe three buttons get unbuttoned instead of two. Then an all too close lean over to check on one of those bills on the veto block. KABLOOM!!! It’s on like donkey kong in a thong! I ain’t mad at him tho. Go head and get yours Johnny!

    See John knew that her family life was in shambles. According to the Enquirer she’s already strayed once. He’s counting on the stress of the VP job and the power of the HOval Office to put on the back-slide.

    “Can’t happen” you say? Let ask original White House thickey, Monica Lewinsky.

    Yeah my thoughts exactly Mon.

    And yall know W was getting down with Condi, right? Look at that body language! Legs crossed toward him. Bushes ever-so-sublte but too far lean in. Just one more then i’ll move on. You see that LOOK?!!! Guy’s you know what that far off look is, when you’re starin at your slam-piece from behind. Dub-ya is clearly thinking about dat azz.

    So now seeing that Bush has had experience in this area and McCain and his knew found friendship; I’m sure GWB and Johnny are havin some very important strategy meetings.

    McCain: Mr. President I need your advice.

    Dubya: Call me G Dubby.

    McCain: I…..don’t want to.

    Dubya: Cmon! Everybody’s doin it.

    McCain: Alright…..*sigh* G Dubby, I need your help.

    Dubya: Atta boy! What can i do ya for?

    McCain: Well it’s this Vice President thing.

    Dubya: You picked a real looker, there boy. Let me tell you ain’t nothing like some thick thighs wrapped around ya. I remember when Condi wore those go-go boots! WOOOOO..

    McCain: G DUBBY!!

    Dubya: I’m sorry. Where were we?

    McCain: Well that kinda goes right to my point…. I mean how did you pull Condolezza Rice.

    Dubya: Oh that was easy. Bombed Baghdad, brought out my best Chappelle Show lines, put on some Jodeci and i was in the house like punishment.

    McCain: What?!

    Dubya: Well that wasn’t the only reason I bombed Baghdad, but it was up there. Having trouble with the lady Johnny?

    McCain: Just can’t seem to get over that last objection.

    Dubya: Hell man! all you gotta do is something presidential! Veto something, invade a small country, play some Prince (she looks like prince girl)a and you got it.

    McCain: that’s it?

    Dubya: That’s it i promise. Now let me show you Condi’s Myspace.

    I imagine it went something like that. Just remember John you gotta get in the White House first.


  6. Pe. Riche. Says:

    If your daughter is screwing boys at 17 and popping out babies, at least be woman enough to admit that you are not a good parent.

    And are there not people hired for both parties that does research into the backgrounds of the potential candidates to see if in fact they are actually QUALIFIED candidates? I guess someone took John McCains Valium pills by mistake.

  7. Will Says:

    and Rich – its not even so much about her being a good or bad parent…

    its the fact that her azz is such a diehard pusher for FAMILY VALUES, PRO LIFE, Bible Thumping and all that other shit….and mini-she is steady stabbin’! Thats the killer.

  8. chris paul Says:

    Like your average American, she went to six colleges around america in six years, including two different schools in hawaii, one of which she left mid semester because “There was too much rain”

  9. RosyF Says:

    I have no kids that I know of ; )…but I don’t think just because a 17 year old has had sex and pregancy occurs does not mean s/he had bad parents or wasn’t taught better. We were all 16-17 at one point and we all know no matter how good or bad are parents were some stuff we were going to get into regardless.

    Btw – I am pro-choice, pro-contraception, and pro-responsible consensual hit.

  10. jasper garcia Says:

    mommmie!!! Pailn for vp


    I think sometimes the reason why people are quick to point out Palin’s “fault” as a parent is because so many of this new wave of conservative republicans try to FORCE they’re I’m so wholesome perfect belief on everyone. Palin tries to put sanctions on everyone else’s kids and reforms on every individual but by the looks of it can’t use those same reforms and beliefs when it comes to her own child.

    I personally consider myself to be a conservative democrat. Pro-Life Evangelical Christian…. However…. You cannot put sanctions on an entire nation that has free well. You can’t force people by making laws built on those personal beliefs and expect everyone to go along with it. I would rather someone keep their child but being the medical professional that I am I couldn’t stand to see women dying due to unclean back alley abortions.

    Republicans are one sided only for their one framed mind tracks… Where as the Democrats try to make it equal for EVERYONE!

    OBAMA 08!!!!

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