Archive for August, 2008

Knocked the F- Out! Crazy Jodeci Video

August 26, 2008

Damn, I remember back when Jodeci was the best shit out and you’d basically trade your life right on the spot to walk in their shoes….well, not anymore.  Those mufuckers are cracked the fucked out and just down right awful.  Peep the shit at the 1:40 mark.

Holy shit!  Yall tell me what’s crazier, the fact that they’re using that weak ass stage smoke (and nothing else), that big man immediately rolled out to pick up the mic (but not JoJo) or that KCi kept on singing?!  haaaa.   I actually appreciated that he kept singing.  Rocks or not, a dude has to keep shit professional, right?

Lord Jesus and baby Jesus, please help these dudes.  Somewhere Mary J. Blige is shaking her head.

– Lake

Minnie Driver Looking Good

August 26, 2008

It’s pretty terrible and corny, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Minnie Driver.

And let’s face it, she’s been hot since Good Will Hunting:

Now?  Well, how do ya like them apples?

ARRRRGGGGGHHH.  Now see, I’ll never understand why you ladies insist on rocking bikinis when you’re preggers.  And those big mama draws you got on the bottom, just terrible dude.  You can stop that anytime, celebrity or not.  Yuck.

I said it.

– Lake

Coach K did the damn thing

August 26, 2008

I don’t have much to say about this.  All I can express is that if K had not gotten the gold, it would have been a debacle.  But guess what?

It’s lovely and I love it.  Now it’s time for those recruits to come on in so the rest of the basketball world can come and get some. Oh and by the way, what do yall think Gary Williams and those Murrland terps were doing while Kobe, LeBron and Coach K were getting that gold?

Zactly…

– Lake

Sexy Olympian of the Day: Lolo Jones

August 26, 2008

That’s right, it is time for another post with theme music.  Feel free to watch the video, but this isn’t all about the music.

This is about Lolo Jones.  First of all, I just love the name.

She also runs the hurdles. So she’s unusually in shape and flexible.  Sure, she had to gold wrapped up until the 90m when she clipped that hurdle, but Lolo, I want to know you are still all good with me.  Once you’ve recovered, call your boy Brock and I’ll help you work on through the pain.  Of course we’ll keep it on the lo lo.

Anyone not down with Lolo Jones?  Check this out.

Yeah.  Let me tell you, I don’t need anymore than that right there.  Angle 2?

Like Rick James said in my all time favorite song, Fire and Desire it was paaaaaaain be. fore. pleasuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrre.  She’s giving the eyes right there.

You can’t complete the analysis without street clothes.  Now this looks like the kind of girl who makes all gear look like athletic gear.  But that thigh work is impressive.  I’d like to see some jeans here, but I’ll take it.  I don’t know why she’s getting her Beastmaster on with that squirrel, but I’ll let it slide.

As a parting shot, just to go with the theme music.

Next thing you know, shawty got lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo.

Shout to H8torade…I’d hit it.

-Brock.

My eyes must be fooling me

August 26, 2008

…because Rihanna looks thick in these pictures.

Interesting because I always thought she was crazy skinny.  Maybe it’s my new age, mtv distorted eyes.

I like it. But like that “didn’t get it” face she’s got going even better.

– Lake

I Just Watched Michelle Obama’s Speech

August 25, 2008

Very impressive.

Michelle is the real article and those daughters are truly adorable.  You might want to keep the mic out of little Sasha’s hand.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s cute and it’s all good, but Barack had that “what is this girl gonna say next” look to him when he came up on that tv screen.  I like it though.  Yes We Can.  F*ck McCain W. Bush.

– Lake

Man Up Monday: Olympic Recap

August 25, 2008

While I didn’t stay up until 2:30am EST (although I guess the start time of that game could have made some sense on the west coast) when Espana had it at four at the two and a half minute mark, I thought Man Up Monday was about to be for the “Redeem Team” and all of USA Basketball.

Then the Black Mamba took over.  (Did he give himself that nickname?  Seriously, where did that come from?)  It does answer my question of whether Kobe can switch on him dominance like a switch  The answer is apparently yes.  That three at the three minute mark with nothing but a jab step from twenty something feet was craaaaazy.  I do like how they just call him “Mamba” now.  Which is not only a deadly snake, but also a delicious candy.  Chew, Chew, Chew chew Mamba!

This time I’ve got a whole bunch of man up moments.  The first goes to German Sprinter Tobais Unger.  Check out this bitchin’ and moanin’.

Unger voiced his complaints about the Jamaican sprinter to BILD sport, saying: “Bolt didn’t even warm up for the semi final. He showed up in shorts and jogging shoes, did his pickups and practice starts, put on his spikes and then ran the 100m in 9.92 seconds.

“Bolt ran a time of 9.8 seconds in May and again at the end of September. He showed no tiredness during training,” an annoyed Unger added.

“They do whatever they want on their island. Nothing happens to them. I’m the only one here at the Olympics who is registering with the doping controllers.”

Bolt apparently didn’t even know how to fill out the doping forms. The American sprinters’ coaches actually laughed when they heard about German doping controls.

Unger, who was cut in the semi-finals, threatened to quit: “I just don’t have the desire anymore.”

And by, “I don’t have the desire anymore”, he means, “I can’t beat any of these people and get into the finals”.  Come on Tobias, we’ve already established that the melanin challenged can’t make the finals of the 100m dash.  Give it up.

Oh, and Usain Bolt just called Us Versus Them HQ with a message for you.  Here’s where you can take that shit.

I also need whoever decides which sports make the Olympic games to man up.  After swimming ended it all went downhill from there.  I was looking for Olympic Hoops and ended up catching…uhhhh Mountain Biking.  This shit was crazy.  It looked like someone ran some tape around some trees and had cats just ride around in the woods.  Up a hill, down a hill around a corner, not enough room to pass each other.  Stupid.  Not to mention the fact that X Games BMX biking in a half pipe makes the cut now too.  How about Badminton?  Why?  Handball?  Seriously, where is that popular?  If you going to do that, why can’t Jai Alai get in there?

That guy wants a gold medal too.  He’s got a helmet and a hook thingy attached on his arm.  He’s a badass.  What about football?  (and the first asshole that points out that the Olympics has “Futbol” gets kicked in the teeth)  Let’s get Ultimate Fighting in there too.  They’ve already got wrestling, boxing, and tae kwon do in there, why not kick it up and drop em in the Octagon?  Anderson Silva needs a gold medal too.  Oh and China, I don’t want to hear about how you “won” the Olympics either.  You won on table tennis, air rifle and the aforementioned badminton.  Just stop.

Oh and a final man up to this dude.

Yes I’m talking about the guy on the right.  My man Matos did not like that disqualification, ok?

So all of the above.  MAN UP!

-Brock

Are You Ready For Some (Fantasy) Football?

August 22, 2008

That’s right people, the drought is almost over.  I’m not talking about the lakes in Georgia and North Carolina.  I’m not talking about tropical storm Fay working over Florida.  I’m talking about the fact that Football season is coming to improve Sportscenter so we don’t have to suffer through baseball highlights every night, and I can’t wait.  In fact, I’ve already been watching preseason.  Side note, if you have HBO, you’ve got to peep that Dallas Cowboys “Hard Knocks”.  Here’s the best part of Episode 1.

You gotta love that T.O.  He blazes Pacman errrr Adam Jones on a double move and Pacman starts complaining.  T.O. just hits him with “Hell, I’m working on my shit”.  That is why you gotta love T.O.  Sure it has been two years so he is due to try to blow up the Cowboys any day now, but as long as Wade Phillips is smart enough to keep T.O. as a central part of the offense, maybe eveything will be fine.

Anyway, back to the subject, the Us Versus Them fantasy football draft was last night.  It is a 12 man league, most cats come to the table prepared, we even ran the big board.

(white woman not included)

but of course we have all the fantasy football stereotypes.

Not Prepared Guy:  This is the asshole that shows up with a list with the top 50 players on it, some pocket lint, a pack of twizzlers and no fuckin clue what he is doing.  You gotta love and hate this guy.  You love him because it means he’s going to clear out some bullshit players and you are going to come up on some cats you might not have had a shot on.  Then you hate him because he ends up trying to jack your resources once he realizes he doesn’t know anyone who plays football other than Tom Brady, Randy Moss, T.O. and Ladanian Tomlinson.

Best Player Available Guy: You always feel bad for this dude.  There is always one cat drafting in a position where he never really gets to player he wants so he ends up settling for a player that isn’t quite as good.  Then suddenly he looks up and his entire squad ain’t shit.  You know, waiting for Drew Brees and ends up with Derek Anderson.  Wants Marion Barber and ends up with Willis McGahee.  This guy actually knows what he’s doing, he just can’t catch a break.

The “Is Adrian Peterson Available?” in the fifth round Guy:  No.  No he’s not.

2006 All-Star team guy:  This is the cat who is semi-prepared but always falls for the big name.  Unfortunately he ends up taking cats who were hot two years ago.  You know Matt Hasselbeck, Rudi Johnson, Marvin Harrison, takes Adam Vinatieri in the 8th round.  Just generally messing up.

Overprepared Guy:  This dude is running algorythms and peeping bye weeks for the entire 15 rounds.  Listen player, it is round 13.  It isn’t going to make or break you if you are going to pick up your handcuff RB or a shitty backup TE mmmkay?  Just pick.  You aren’t a damn clairvoyant, and fantasy football is 50% luck and alchemy anyway.  Just order another beer and have a good time.  Thanks.

Always Fucking Up Guy:  This is usually Lake, although he put together a strong run this year.  This is the cat who’s computer can’t connect.  His phone drops.  Slow to pick.  HIlarious.

Drafting Last Guy:  This year this was me.  I don’t care what anyone says, there is no advantage.  It sucks.  Ok?  It sucks.

Anyway here’s my squad:

Peyton Manning

Randy Moss

Michael Turner

Ronnie Brown

Vincent Jackson

Chris Chambers

Bears Defense…awwwwwwwwwww I’m fucked.  I don’t even want to go any further.  I told you it sucks to draft last.

I’ll be watching my NFL Sunday Ticket in the man cave.  So I can watch my downfall in HD with all the games on simultaneously.  At least I’ll enjoy myself.  Can’t wait for the first big hit.

Football season baby, let’s go.

-Brock

Remember the Last Time You Had Your Wind Knocked Out of You?

August 21, 2008

Did it go a little something like this?

That Ooooooh ooooohh owwwwww ohhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhh it great.  Just can’t catch her breath.  Hilarious.

She looks like she was drinking wine, not making wine.  That’s what she gets for getting too fancy up there on that grape stompin’.  Can’t have jokes when you’re standing in a bucket on a four foot tall stage.

-Brock

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

August 21, 2008

You know we love Mike Tyson, and you know we love Lil Wayne.  Here’s the best of both worlds.

Shout to Grande Smooth in ATL for putting us down with it.  (like two weeks ago, I’m early and still late)

Oh, and I was about to hit you cats with the official UvT “Hot shit but not to futuristic for the simple minded suckers muxtape” but Muxtape.com just got gripped up by the RIAA.  I owe you one if the site ever comes back.

-Brock