Michael Phelps is great, but he aint the best ever


Michael Phelps has definitely earned all the accolades he’s received.  Sure, you can say he’s the best swimmer of all time and I’ll even hear arguments that he’s the best Olympian, but the best athlete?  Hells no.  Look, if I’m not mistaken, Phelps is from Baltimore, which means dude probably isn’t even the best athlete in his own area code.  First off, I will admit, homey is sittin on more gold than Chad Johnson’s dentist.

And he certainly eats like the best ever.  But let’s not trick ourselves.  The reason why Phelps has gold medals in his pockets like so many nickles and dimes is because 1.  they have so many swimming events to begin with and 2. a very small sample size of the world’s athletes actually get a chance to compete in organized swimming to begin with.

It’s not quite the same as in track and field where you just know there aren’t that many cats who can step into the blocks and run a sub 10 second 100 meters.  No, when those dudes step up, we KNOW they’re the world’s best because everybody has been racing since they were 6 years old on a playground.

So when Jesse Owens or Carl Lewis win 4 gold medals in a single games, that’s real.  When Phelps does it, if you’re like me, you just sit back and wonder what these events would be like if Deion Sanders, Randy Moss, Michael Vick or Allen Iverson knew how to swim.

I mean, come on, does ANYBODY actually think that Phelps is a better athlete than A-Rod, Jordan or Kobe?  Come on now.  If you gave Randy Moss 24 months, a West Virginia inspired above ground pool (keep it classy), some more weave (sad) and a Bally’s Total Health & Fitness membership, he’d turn half of Phelps gold medals into Bronze.   Best ever?  Right.  And next you’ll be saying Lance Armstrong is the best ever.  Oh, I forgot, fools ALREADY say that.  AHNT.  Pleaz.

By the way, is it just me or is something not quite right with my man’s mouth piece?  Anyway, Phelps is good, but compared to Jesse Owens, Jim Thorpe, and hell, I don’t know, Vince Young, Phelps aint shit.

I said it!  So until they start having the following list of Basketball derivative Olympic events:

1.  Olympic 5 on 5 Men’s Basketball

2.  Olympic Street Basketball

3.  Olympic Horse

4.  Olympic Freestyle Slam Dunk Medley

5.  Olympic 1 on 1 Come Git Some Especial-lay

6.  Olympic Two Handed Dribbling

7.  Olympic Three- Point Shooting

8.  Olympic 3 v 3 Ass-tappitties Floor Exercise, and

9.  Olymypic Synchronized, ball in hand jumping

I don’t want to hear about how Miguelito Phelps is a better athlete than LeBronze James.

– Lake

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22 Responses to “Michael Phelps is great, but he aint the best ever”

  1. what the fuck Says:

    no way around it, you can throw the entire fucking NFL and NBA into the swimming pool, phelps will take a shit on them all. until they have the irregular armspan, torso, and double-jointed ankles as well as the skill, they won’t touch him. james, thorpe, you name them, they would be lucky to lick the chlorine from his balls, he is the best, and no i’m not positive, i’m definite. he knows the game like he’s reffin it.

  2. jkay Says:

    I’m getting a strong whiff of hateration and a lack of appreciation for the beast that Micheal Phelps is in the water. Swimming is different from baseball, football, and basketball. Kobe wouldn’t be Kobe without his teammates. T.O. wouldn’t be T.O. if he wasn’t receiving passes from a skilled QB. Those dudes can’t play the game by themselves or carry a team without talent. Peep Micheal Jordan trying to save the Wizards.

    Phelps is a lone soldier. Killing mofo’s left and right that are just as tall and have the same body type. He is practically part dolphin. He lives his life around swimming for one championship that comes every 4 years. Kobe n dem are in the league. They could care less about the Olympics b/c they get paid ALL TIME and got endorsements ect… all year long. Phelps came and conquered all of his opponents. He only gets overexposure around this time anyway and at least he has gold metals to show for it.

    You also can’t compare swimming and running. They are both lone soldier sports and take the same amount of training but swimming fast and dominating isn’t something just anybody can do. The only other athlete to dominate like this during the Olympics has been Mark Spitz and even Micheal passed him with all of his gold medals.

  3. Lake Arlington Says:

    Damn, tell em why you mad son! Tell em why you mad. LOL

  4. Lake Arlington Says:

    Jkay, phelps didn’t have teammates in the relays? And if “lone soldiering” is the main criterion, does that mean that Tiger Woods is the best athlete ever? I think not. Mike Phelps isn’t even a better athlete than Bruce Jenner. I’m not hating, but this “best athlete ever” talk is a joke.

  5. KIR in NV Says:

    You can’t compare Phelps to Thorpe or Owens because the eras in which each competed are just too different.

    I’m not buying Phelps as the best athlete of all time. It’s too difficult to evaluate all of the variables and I haven’t had my coffee yet this morning. I’ll leave that debate for my UvT peeps.

    Make no mistake though, Michael Phelps put on a clinic this Olympics. 8 golds? 7 world records? That is manly and I ain’t gonna hate. Enjoy the moment Mike, you earned it.

  6. Swimming? Says:

    Anybody with half a brain knows Phelps is not the best athlete to ever walk this earth. Come on. He swims, something maybe 3% of the world’s athletes have attempted to do competitively. Phelps is the greatest within his sport, but he’s probably sitting at home, watching the games with the rest of us if he truly had to compete with our best athletes. Best athlete ever? That’s like saying I’m the best commenter ever because I’m making the most sense in this string. Don’t get me wrong, I am the best ever, but you can’t tell with this small sample size. The blog is correct, Phelps is great, but the second you place him next to all time greats in popular and highly competitive sports, the glimmer starts to fade. And if you took all of the NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB American athletes and trained them to swim from age 8, Phelps would be Mikey P., washing lettuce at Arby’s…trust me. J

    esse Owens? Right, because we’ll never know if EVERYONE else in the world could actually run fast. Next topic.

  7. Derek P Says:

    This is a joke right? Michael Phelps IS NOT A BETTER ATHLETE THAN LEBRON JAMES, KOBE BRYANT, A-ROD, DEION SANDERS or ever Pacman Jones. Pleez. Bigger, faster, stronger… not better form in a pool full of a bunch of half gay Euro dudes who couldn’t excel at sports that would actually pay their bills.

    Go to any NBA game and you see a host of things nearly nobody else in the world can do athletically. Go to a Phelps “meet” or whatever and you’ll see a fish zipping through the water, accomplishing something that hardly any of us can understand or benchmark against our own abilities. I just wish they paid the dude in teeth caps, dude looks like Jabber Jaws right about now.

  8. SMH Says:

    Swimming is still a rich mans/nations sport. Many people cannot afford to train swimmers and dont have the facilities to do so. He is a great athelete but the fact that Marc Spitz did almost the exact same thing says everything. I had never heard of Spitz until Phelps decided to break his record. People will forget Phelps until someone eventually breaks his record.
    Something like 26 world records have been broken in the pool in Bejing. Did people not try before now? Great athlete but Swimming aint shit

  9. Maurice Says:

    Long time reader, first time poster.

    I agree with you about swimming having like, 100 events. Let’s look at his golds:

    400 m individual medley
    4 x 100 m freestyle relay
    200 m freestyle
    200 m butterfly
    4 x 200 m freestyle relay
    200 m individual medley
    100 m butterfly
    4 x 100 m medley relay

    No doubt dude is a freak of nature, with his 6″4 frame, 7″ wingspan, double jointed ankles, fishfin feet, membrane laced eyeballs (did you see him win like, two events with water in his goggles???) and gills (those ain’t ribs, my friend).

    But look at these events, and these are the ones he just competed in. There were other swimming “stroke styles” that Phelps skipped out on. The number of swimming events is absurd. Look at this stuff!

    From a Track & Field fan’s point of view, I see three 200m events. Three. In T&F, you have the 200m and the 4 X 200, and it’s the same with the 100mm 4 X 100, 400m, and 4 X 400 (we call it the 4×4 for short). Phelps is gaining an extra event every time you change a stroke! Don’t forget about the medleys, where it’s just a combination of different strokes in a single race.

    Swimming is swimming, I don’t care if you’re doggie paddling or doing a butterfly.

    For a Track & Field guy/gal to do the same thing, they would have to run

    4 X 100
    4 X 200
    4X 400
    100m Hurdles
    400m Hurdles

    You would have to toss in a field event or two as well, such as long/high/triple jump.

    Greatest swimmer ever, no doubt. Nobody is going to beat his eight medals , especially because two are in relays. But he’s still not the greatest Olympian.

  10. Ian M. Summers Says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again: You’re all fucking crazy. Boy is nice. He swims and he does it better than anyone else in the world. Period. Bar none. Thats it. And you’re not going to convince me basketball is any less arbitrary a form of physical activity or somehow more legitimate than swimming. I mean if dude was kicking ass at stacking cups, you’d have a point. But he’s not, and you don’t. And trying to compare athletes across eras and sports is absolutely retarded. I never understood sports fans obsession with ranking everything. Hes better than him, shes faster than her, my dad can beat up your dad, blah blah blah.

  11. Lake Arlington Says:

    Ian M. Summers:

    Your stacking cups reference was mildly amusing. Had that “ok, we’ll give you a shot, you’re going to Hollywood” feel to it. The only reason why we’re even having this conversation is because Mr. Phelps is actually eligible to win a record 8 golds. My point is that just because those accomplishments are stacked up for him to knock down, doesn’t mean he’s the best. Again, swimming has derivative sports that other sports just don’t have. Phelps played soccer, lax and baseball growing up. He makes dough in exactly none of them, ok? Deion Sanders played in the World Series AND the Superbowl AND he had world class sprinting speed. Do you honestly think Phelps is a better athlete than Deion? Come on. It’s a joke. Phelps is the best swimmer until the next guy does the same. Why can’t you just be happy with the “best swimmer alive” title? You’re just like the Lance Armstrong clowns. Ok, dude is a great cyclist, but who cycles? Please.

  12. Will Says:

    Phelps is ONE of the best athletes ever, but in terms of better all-around athletes you gotta consider the DECATHLETES – competing in TEN, count em, TEN events! Remember that Dan vs Dave shit yrs ago? lol

    1992, roll it please…

  13. Stizzo Says:

    You guys are all wrong. Is Phelps one of the greatest athletes ever? He makes a convincing statement, but I think we’ll see for sure another four years from now.

    I think in order to be one of the greatest athletes, across different sports (which still isn’t technically comparable) you need to, firstly, be playing in a sport with multiple aspects, so sprinting and other unidirectional sports are out of the question. It needs to be a sport of mind and body. Secondly, you need be one of the best from the time you start until the time you put the football/basketball/bat/driver/javelin/shot put/anabolic needle down.

    So I’m sorry Derek, you need to expand your horizons… think Jim Brown, or Walter Payton. Think Lance Armstrong, who stopped playing against a bunch of steroid junkies because it was child’s play, even with only one testicle and that oversized heart. Think Tiger Woods, who carries the sport on his back. Think Roger Federer, who may not be in the best-athlete-ever conversation soon if he keeps messing up this year.

  14. Lake Arlington Says:

    In case you guys forgot, IT’S SWIMMING!!!!! Homey aint the best ANYTHING but a swimmer. In fact, I’ve been retired for years now, but that sucker could eat a brontosaurus burger with extra mayo and 30 pounds of fries and I’d still bust his ass in some one-on-one freestyle, git in dat azz, small sided soccer! Fuck a Phelps. I said it! lol.

    The cats that are talking this mess are doing so for one reason, Mike Phelps gives then a reason to get up in the morning and actually believe they’re athletically relevant. That’s right, you identify with Phelps, so it somehow makes you feel better to trick yourself into thinking he’s a better athlete than dudes who are clearly the BEST athletes in the entire world.

    You silly dudes are the aquatic version of the weekend warrior softball guy. I can see you chumps now during your lunch break. Got your synthetic seal skinned boxer brief trunks on, then you slap that cat ass beanie/shower cap to keep your hair product in line and then you dive on in for your “look up at the clock so you’re not late getting back to your cubicle, free medley” workout on. Oh, how exhilarating it is to know that a guy like Miguel Phelps, a mug you have NOTHING in common with, has set the world ablaze, right? Now everything will be different. Suddenly, swimmers will be paid like real professional athletes, which somehow validates you, huh? Oh and I know, I know, it’s not an Olympic sized pool like you’re used to so you couldn’t show that 16 year old life guard what you could really do, right?

    Dude, Mike Phelps aint anybody’s best athlete (except swimming!) and he aint better than Kobe, LeBron, Mike Vick, Allen Iverson, Eli Manning, Adrian Peterson, Jeremy Shockey, TO, A-Rod or anybody else who is tops at truly competitive sports. All those people I just mentioned were three sport athletes that probably could have played professional ball in any other major game, INCLUDING SWIMMING!!!!

    Those athletes are just better, period. Look at Phelps competition, a bunch of Euros with man-unitards on. You clowns probably thought Bob Cousy was the best ever, too. Pleez. I’ll say it again, Aaron Rodgers would bust Phelps ass in EVERY SINGLE athletic endeavor EXCEPT swimming and he’s an unproven NFL QB. You know it and Phelps knows it. THE END.

  15. Will Says:


  16. Todd Says:

    Damn! People hating on a nilla…just because he’s a swimmer. Take Phelps’ 8 gold medals, switch out the sport from swimming to say….8 track medals or 8 NBA rings….and see if he gets hated on this hard. Give the YT his due. Phelps is that dude right now.

  17. Ian M. Summers Says:

    Oh man Lake, you’re clearly not listening to me here. In fact I tend to agree with you that the best athlete ever has to come from a sport that requires not only strength and endurance, but coordination, a degree of intelligence and probably physical contact to succeed. Tiger Woods is a bad mother fucker, but he can dominate his sport with out ever breaking out into a jog. Not the best athlete ever.

    I never said Phelps was the best athlete ever. What I said was that you shouldn’t even try to decide who is, and that to do so is stupid for two reasons:

    It is impossible. You can’t objectively compare apples and oranges.

    It is also irrelevant. Sports aren’t about whos the best, sports are about who wins, and all the cliche inspirational shit and resulting drama from the struggle to do so. Thats all this cat knows how to do, win and do it with class and in dramatic fashion. Is that good enough?

    I don’t understand the obsession with ranking everything. People could get a whole lot more from sports if they shifted their focus away from being fans of predominantly athletes/athleticism and start being fans of sports/competition.

  18. andge Says:

    best olympian is michael phelps. It isn’t open for discussion. Pure gold. All the time. Any time. Most ever. He competes in an enduring sport against tons of competitive people. Look he may not be the best ath, but in his sport, and the olympics, he is king. You can talk about the suits. You can talk about the depth, and Mark Spitz was good. But as far olympics go. It is gymnastics, swimming, track and field. Those are were you can make the most of individual impressive medals. Nastia luikin can’t win every event. Phelps can. He can swim every stroke. He is an absolute athletic genetic freak. You know Jordan was, you know kobe is, and we DEFINITELY can see that lebron is a freak. Randy Moss is too. They have them of all sports. We have those people who define the sports. Football has Rice, Moss, Dieon. Basetball Jordan Kobe Lebron. Sprinting Michael johnson shattered people and jesse owns was a beast. Tiger, Lance. The list goes on. Swimming now has that name, someone who pulled out all the stops and has that freak strength and span. Phelps will be here on out synonymous with the olympics and swimming.

  19. Matt Says:

    Clearly, you are not a swimmer. If you were, you might have a little better respect showing here.

    You shouldn’t compare sports like that. How about: “That Lamborghini sucks, it can’t tow half the weight my F250 can.”? Yeah, cross-sectional comparisons aren’t very useful.

  20. Maurice Says:

    “Damn! People hating on a nilla…just because he’s a swimmer. Take Phelps’ 8 gold medals, switch out the sport from swimming to say….8 track medals or 8 NBA rings….and see if he gets hated on this hard. Give the YT his due. Phelps is that dude right now.”

    I’ll give you the track medals. The problem is that swimming isn’t accessible to everyone. Everyone has at some point in their lives ran and jumped. Not everyone can swim, and even for those who can, it takes a special forum to do so. This is not the case with Track&Field, so it’s more palatable to us. I mean, people knock China for winning gold in random events like handball. They still kicked our asses in the gold medal category. A gold is a gold, and Phelps racked them up.

    But it’s still not impressive to people who don’t respect the sport. For me, the best athletes begin and end in Track and Field. Phelps could have won Team, Individual all around, and all of the golds in each apparatus if he were a gymnastic, and he would still get all the accolades that he’s getting now. But guess what, we would still be having this conversation because Track and Field is the “NFL” of all the Olympic games.

    As for the 8 NBA championships, Robbert Horray came close, but who’s going to remember him?

  21. Ralph Says:

    This is thinly disguised, bizarro racism. The author of this piece can’t fathom a white person who has the athletic ability to equal or surpass an african american, so Lake denigrates swimming as a pseudo sport.

    Funny how the rhetoric works just as effectively in reverse.

  22. Lake Arlington Says:

    The author of this piece is a white guy, dickhead. A white guy who has played competitive sports with black and white athletes alike. Just beacuse you lost the genes war, don’t make all of us out to be some quivering, reverse racism (a misnomer by the way) claiming beeyatches, who cry every time someone speaks obvious truths.

    Where does it say that I can’t fathom a white athlete surpassing a black one? Maybe the same place where it says that you’re a jackass. I didn’t denigrate it, though it is a fringe sport. I simply said that it’s a sport that happens to have multiple events, due solely to it’s evolution, such that a guy like Phelps can get 8 medals. Do you think Usain Bolt is the best athlete ever because he can sprint faster than anyone else? No, that would be ridiculous, but then again, nobody says that. But they do say it about Phelps. I wonder why that is?

    Only clowns like you, people who have a chip on their shoulder and probably an inferiority complex based in race, do that. No, alternatively, I tell it like it is. You don’t. Your views are outcome determinative. You read between lines, attribute race based bias where there is none, because you know that in your world, that’s how you and other under qualified losers have made your lot in life. To say he’s the best athlete is a joke. To say he’s “surpassed African Americans,” in a sport with virtually none participate, is asinine.

    You’re the same kind of dude who bitches and complains when a black dude gets a job and you don’t. Because every job they get, in your eyes, is an affirmative action hire. And the thousands of slugs all feel like “that was my job”. You’re the kind of dude, who complains about lady’s night, all women’s health clubs and hate crime laws. That’s you. And you do it because you lack intellect and nuts and you know you’re weak. Not good enough. I know dudes like you, can sniff you out inside of 4 sentences. Get your shit together, then come back. Thanks.

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