Maaaaaaang. I don’t know if I can take it anymore. Look, I know politicians are powerful people. I know that power means you can get away with a lot of things, but politicians are having affairs like they hand out mistresses when they give you your first flag pin.
I thought John Edwards was supposed to be one of the good guys. I guess it is a good thing that he didn’t win the primary. The Republicans would have it in the bag right now.
Sorry Johnny. Not this time.
So John Edwards had a jump off back in 2006. So let’s check out the chick. She’s got to be bad right?
Ohhh! Will Smith, can I get a quick opinion?
Was this picture taken right after a special session? After Edwards laid down a filibuster? You know, introduced her to the Ways and Means committee? She looks like a cross between Nick Nolte’s mugshot and your forth grade social studies teacher. John Edwards and this woman are making Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky look like Hugh Hefner and his flock of blonde chicks.
With all of the politicians getting caught with the mistress we know one thing. They must have been doing this for a very long time. Now apparently they all have to admit it. What is that all about by the way?
Look, fellas, bring it in for a second. Let Uncle Brock tell ya something. First of all, don’t cheat. But if ya gotta cheat go hard. Make sure she’s worth it. If your gonna go down make it count! John just took the fall for this woman? Did he think he needed a Slumpbuster after the loss in 2004? If I go down, you best believe Christina Milian is going to be the chick you see in the pictures. I mean she’s gotta be bad. You can’t blow your political career for that right there John. Here’s the kicker. National Enquirer (I know. I know) is reporting that this chick had a kid with John Edwards too.
How unlucky do you have to be to unintentionally get a 42 year old woman pregnant. Oh, rule number two. Strap up. Why are all these people hitting their side jump offs raw dog? Anyway, most 42 year old women trying to get pregnant need a year of fertility drugs and bed rest to get pregnant. You’re telling me Johnny boy was hittin it like that?
Meanwhile the chick is now saying she doesn’t want a paternity test. When you are on Maury, that shit is okay. But when you are trying to clear your name, and said you didn’t do it, you really want that test to close the door. Otherwise, this is going to keep coming up forever. You know John wants the test too. So he can go out like my man in this video.
Oh man, that is so good. I wonder if John’s got his two step tight?
John Edwards…You. Are………. NOT THE FATHER!
I need one more.
This is all horrible. The way politicians are going down, before you know it we’ll be getting the Newt Gingrich sex tape on a camera phone. Damn, that tape would never make UvT.