Bill Belichick Sex Tape? Oh Hail No.

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I know we have a strict never actually watch the sex tape policy here.  Of course we are obligated to report what’s out there.  But this time I’m not going to need any self restraint to avoid this one.  There is a rumor out there that Bill Belichick, coach of the almost undefeated New England Patriots has a sex tape.  Aw naw.

Look we already know Bill is down with the videotape.  No wonder the spygate tapes got destroyed so damn quickly.  Bill wasn’t just taping the other team’s plays, he was also showing how to control the backfield, go long, run the offense through the tight end, use his ball control technique.  My bad, that last one was too much.

Here’s the wild part.  The sextape is alledgedly with the married woman that he had the affair with.  Okay, let’s go over player rule number one.  If you are going to do the double dirty move, cheating on your wife with a married woman…you don’t even roll out to a place that can be traced back to you, much less videotaping the damn thing. I mean you are supposed to be checking into a hotel with a false name, going through the connecting door, climbing out on the balcony and wearing a mask.

Speaking of what he’s wearing, does he rock the hoodie in the tape?

Now we know why he chops off the sleeves.  Although I now wonder what he keeps in the pocket.

Who is the babe anyway.  I don’t want to see it at all, but I certainly don’t want to see old people hunchin’, just rollin’ and foldin’ and awwwwwww.  Let’s peep Sharon Shenocca.

Well damn Bill…you get a hail yeah on that one right there.  My older babe game ain’t too tight, but if I had to guess, that’s gotta be top shelf.

Touchdown.

-Brock

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4 Responses to “Bill Belichick Sex Tape? Oh Hail No.”

  1. Weezy F. Baby Says:

    Belichick is a fucking pimp. It’s one thing to fuck a dude’s wife but it’s entirely different to fuck AND tape it. Holy shit, this cat must have giant balls…

  2. Lake Arlington Says:

    Fucking awesome!!!! I just went from hating Belicheat to loving the sumbitch! Dude definitely has giant nuts. And yes his lady is very attractive, I just wonder if she’s all natural like our girl Kimmy K.. ha

  3. Will Says:

    double ha!

  4. Manuva Says:

    I wonder if Matt Walsh taped it…

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