Ricky Ross…Biggest Loss

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Everyday I’m Hustlin, hustlin, hustle, hustlin.  Rick Ross hit the scene slangin’ Coca and talking about how he didn’t need the rap game because he was still moving weight.

I see you baller.  Hand Tattoos.  Blacked out shades, straight baldie and signature beard.  Look, we all know rappers need to be exagerating at least a little bit, otherwise the hip-hop cops would be sitting outside with the CD on repeat waiting for “a lotta drug dealin’ around me, going down in Dade County”.  Like Frank Lucas, one of the “biggest bosses” said, you can’t flaunt it when you’re really doing dirt.  “Listen to me, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room”.  All of that said, I’ve never seen anyone get ripped for their street cred like this.

Oh no.  “The biggest Boss that you seen thus far” is doing the straight graduation day handshake at Corrections officer school.  That isn’t a diploma she’s handing him either.  What do you get when you graduate from CO School?  A Flashlight?  A can of mace?  No, I know, a walkie-talkie.  He’s also rocking the exact opposite of the trademark baldie and beard, instead he’s got the shave and fade.  As Lake says, let’s get angle 2.

Aw man, he looks really happy to graduate too.  I’m thinking the hand tatts and yayo slinging must be new huh?  I’m guessing they run a little background check to make sure you weren’t moving weight through the Port of Miami.  Maybe Rick thinks this is what everyone means when they say snorting Coke.

What’s next Rick?  You’re not really from Miami?  You don’t write your own rhymes?  You probably aren’t really fat are you?

Actually, I hope you are really fat, otherwise you’re just punishing the rest of us for no reason.

Time to change up your style Ricky Ross.  I can’t wait for the “Just Another Day in the Life of a God Damn Cop” featuring T-Pain of course.  “I’m the biggest fraud that you seen thus far, I’m the, I’m the biggest fraud that you seen thus far.”

Hell, we should have known he was a fake once he properly used the word “thus”.

-Brock

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8 Responses to “Ricky Ross…Biggest Loss”

  1. KIR in NV Says:

    In this day of the internets and all, how in the hell do any posers expect to keep their game on lock, especially those keeping a high profile? You ain’t gonna invent a back story and call it good. People be checking…haters and the like…it’s what they do.

    BONUS => Here’s another bit of advice for the uninitiated: employers may also check those degrees and references you put on that resume.

  2. Manny B. Says:

    Ross brought this on himself. I said before that this whole thing would’ve been a non-issue if he would’ve done one of two things:

    The first is fess up. Aint shit wrong with having had a day job. Say “yea, I was a C.O., and?”

    Then flip the bird to your haters on camera, and bam, you kill this story instantly keeping some of your cred intact.

    The second is don’t say anything. He could take a few tips from Jay-Z on this one. Just let the people talk. What they say about you shouldn’t matter anyway unless you’re the insecure type.

    Every other week there’s going to be somebody coming after you on a DVD or whatever saying you aren’t real anyway, so why even entertain it?

    My take (shameless plug alert):
    http://oaight.blogspot.com/2008/07/rick-ross-was-ceo-but-do-we-care.html

    Big shouts up to the UvT staff too. I read everyday, and yall keep me rolling.

  3. Brock Hardon Says:

    Manny B. Compliments are a great way to get your shameless plugs through the mod filter. Nicely done! As long as you don’t start pushing Viagra (don’t need it), penis enlargement (definitely don’t need it), or mail order brides (how does that work again?) come back anytime.

  4. Slick Jefferson Says:

    To be fair, ol’ Rick was probably moving weight inside the hoosegow. You know, like your boy Tilghman.

  5. Lake Arlington Says:

    Slick, even if that were true, I’m not sure Crooked Cop earns a cat any real street cred..

  6. Triple_B Says:

    Oh little Ricky Ross. What have you done? Does this prove that “Gangsta” Rap is truly dead. When the hardest slangin’ cat in Miami turns out to be working for the man, you gotta ask these questions. Maybe Ricky was telling the truth. Maybe the biggest boss was referring to this boss. Whom he is definitely bigger than. All I’m sayin is only 1/4 of N.W.A ever did any real crime, and Ice T (of Law and Order fame, for the new generation) and of course Snoop Dog “I’m Innocent” “Innocent” “innocent” (yes i did my own echo) are truly confirmed criminals. We know how P (uuunnnhhhh) got started but then there also the conflicting story of Percy Miller. How did you get into college with all that on your record, P? But beyond that, it seems like the game is to build up this persona and then try to live up to it. Even Biggie was a nice kid. Why?

    I say everybody loves a bad guy. They get to do all the stuff you wanna do but you’d feel bad about. I admit it I love villains, Darth Vader, Tony Montana, Cobra Commander (read GENIUS!), and The Wicked Witch of the West (the lady had moxy, you gotta give her that), just to name a few. But these are all movie villains and the actors who play them aren’t expected to live up to the role. If i meet Anthony Hopkins I don’t expect him to eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. However it’s a different story for rap artists and pretty much anybody in the music industry.

    Musicians are expected to live their art for better or for worse (Amy Whinehouse case in point). I have no idea why this is and I lost my point somewhere in this rambling post. I really just wanted to make you guys remember the Big Boss Man. I will say this i don’t think Rick is a failure nor has he failed his fans, but if he goes down because of this psssh what are really advocating people?

    END

  7. Slick Jefferson Says:

    Agreed. Stringer Bell probably puts a hit out on his ass. But it’s within the realm. Truth is, the only thing I like about Rick Ross is that l’il rick chain he’s got, and that pic of him and this guy.

  8. RosyF Says:

    @Triple B, I’ve missed your comments and old school reference. I’m down w/ the Wicked Witch of the West and loved the book Wicked. And yes I remember the Big Boss man and now that I think about it (not that I was a fan of his) he is the archetype for wild COs terrorizing inmates all over. Wow.

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