Someone Needs To Tell Mariah That She’s 38

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Is it just me?

Or does Mariah dress like she’s 15?  First off, all women need to dress for their body.  If you’ve got 38 double Deez, you may not be able to pull off that little halter that a more moderately proportioned woman can.  Which is fine, because she can’t look as good in that evening dress (unless she’s murdering you and ME with that tail).  It all balances off.  But generally speaking, Mariah bucks all the rules and suffers as a result.  The older she gets, the less gear she rocks.  Hey, just because you’ve got the dough to get meals prepared, have that erryday personal trainer, liposuction and all kind of tummy tucks doesn’t mean you should roll around half-naked.

And that stomach piece is NOT right.  Sure, those abs may look like they’re 25 but the belly button looks like it’s 56.  Every time I see it, it’s just crying out to me for help, shivering in the cold.  It’s just awful and it knows it.  The thing is, Mariah would be a hot middle-aged woman if she just dressed right.  But now she’s just a myopic cougar who clearly doesn’t have a lot of honest people around her.  Basically, she’s the coug version of Peter Pan.  Clearly Nick doesn’t have his lady in check?

I know, I know.

– Lake

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3 Responses to “Someone Needs To Tell Mariah That She’s 38”

  1. SMH Says:

    I think she got that gel in her stomach area

  2. Slick Jefferson Says:

    I believe Zohan said it best, “I beg your cleavage’s pardon.” MC was looking right in that scene, btw, and pretty funny to boot.

  3. Ian M. Summers Says:

    You’re all fuckin crazy.

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