ARod’s Wife: I Gotta Quit You


Cynthia Rodriguez just filed for divorce in Miami, citing infidelity as the main cause.  Ya think?  What tipped you off CRod?  Is the the fact that 78% of all women would bang him out on site for a shot at that quarter billion dollar contract while asking “how many licks will it take ’till I get to shop“?  Or the fact that he cavorts with known strippers and Playboy Playmates?  Or is it the fact that Madonna has been kicking at his NY crib for the last week and a half?  This is not yet confirmed, but I think she also mailed him this shirt as part of her initial settlement offer.

She’s filing in Miami, so I’m assuming that the crib on Star Island is going to be high on the list of “shit I want to keep” along with as much of that $250 Million that 6 years of marriage and two kids can buy you.  I have to imagine that we’re going to hear that the three year old and the three month old are used to a very high quality of life, which for kids that young means that they have two tricycles and all the milk they can drink, which of course requires about $65,000 per month to maintain that kind of lifestyle.

Meanwhile, A Rod has already moved on.

A Rod has had the not quite confirmed for divorce Madonna coming in and out of his crib.  Both are still denying it, but hey…why not?  We already know that Madonna hooked up with a brother of another color a decade ago because he had the right “bone structure” for her future child.

Wow, look at that dude.  What?  Prince wasn’t available at the time?  I remember that Dennis Rodman was also on the short list, so maybe ARod shouldn’t be too honored to be on Madonna’s short list.

I’m sure A Rod will come out of this fine.  Like Chris Rock said, if you’ve got 200 Million and she take’s half, you can still eat…If you make $10,000 and she takes half, you might have to kill the chick.  A Rod won’t have to resort to murder, but he might want to kill the chick by time all of this is done.  Maybe Cynthia Rodriguez can hook up with Shaunie O’Neal and have a divorce party.

New Rule:  Any athlete in the modern era who is due to be on the 50 greatest players of all time list in their respective sport just shouldn’t get married.  It never works out.  Ever.  Why try?


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3 Responses to “ARod’s Wife: I Gotta Quit You”

  1. Will Says:

    Any hi-paid athlete – period. Why bother? They already get mo ass than a lil bit. The Wifs dont stand a chance

  2. Dan Marjele Says:

    Despite how many people have been there before, a visit to Madonna’s box is still a visit to Madonna’s box 🙂

  3. soctjr Says:

    Everybody Hates Madonna

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