What Ever Happened to Brandy?

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Dude, is it just me or is Brandy one of the biggest flame out “stars” ever? Remember back in the day when Brandy was the next big thing?

I Wanna Be Down, era? I mean, Brandy was on the short list of the artists that would be around for a long time. It was like her, Monica (who also entered into the artist protection program) and Aaliyah.

Where is she now? I mean, the babe is good for a terrible ass red carpet picture or a “Brandy killed a mofo in a benzo” story or “Brandy’s lil brother is making porn” story, but that’s it. I mean, it’s embarrassing because any of my friends will tell you that I predicted that Brandy was going to be a big star back in the day. I figured that once she took that little good girl persona and made it freaky, that coupled with some extra added thickness brought on by age and getting banged out, it would give her that extra star power bump.

Yikes. Boy was I wrong. I mean, if ever there was a “that was then and this is now” moment, it’s with Brandy. No, she’s not a big recording star as I predicted, but sadly as I was rolling through a Harlem beauty supply store (don’t ask), I saw that Brandy line of home weave products and I was instantly disgusted.

Jesus. First off, I HATE WEAVE. OK, no need for a “Lake uses juices and berries” disclaimer here, I’m just saying I hate fake hair. If you can’t flow it down the back, get that old school Halle cut.

But whatever you do, don’t bring a fucking weave around me. So you know I was extra disturbed when I saw that Brandy was like the face of the modern weave culture.

“And if you just buy my shit for $15.95, you too can have hair like me….”

or me….

or me…

Dude, it’s all just fucking awful. Forget outlawing drugs, they need to outlaw weaves. In fact, I’m less down with those weaves than I am the gelly butt. Scratching the head and the whole thing moves. Tracks coming out when you’re doing the deed…. Fucking wild undergrowth nests rising from the dead ashes while the fake stuff is holding down the top? It’s all just too much. I don’t endorse it. I can’t take it… Hell, I won’t stand for it. I mean, that’s an automatic disqualification over here. And Brandy is the Queen of All Weaves…..?

And I thought she was going to be the next big thing. Ugly for Lakey the predictor.

– Lake

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4 Responses to “What Ever Happened to Brandy?”

  1. Will Says:

    Damn Lake I’m halfway wit u on this one!
    I’ll keep the young, ‘I wanna be down’ Brandy in that special place in my heart – shared with the rest of ’90s RnB/hiphop (Jodeci, Silk, Biggie, etc)
    I gotta give her props for cranking out certified gems, at least a decade of hits, along with Aaliyah, who stayed on fiya til the very tragic end (R.I.P. angel)
    I don’t think I could see going at Brandy so hard tho, bruh. I mean damn she’s BRANDY. She can always make a comeback dawg. She’s not totally lost.

    I mean…it coulda been worse. She coulda went out like this: (URL please)

    see what i mean?

  2. Vanessa Says:

    Send me an email address and i’ll shoot you a pic

  3. Jaida Says:

    I dont understand this blog. You talk about her as if you know her. And what do you have against weave everyone wears weave. (White and black alike) and your comments seem a little racist to me. Talking about jelly butts? What do you know about that? Your just bored what nothing to do. Plus I bet she is making alot of money on that weave endorsement

  4. Lake Arlington Says:

    Jaida, you may not know this, but not everybody wears weave.. Just you, The gelly butt refers to ass implants, not fat asses, we love those.

    Brandy, Paris Hilton and the rest of these fake chicks out here. I don’t like weave and I won’t apologize for it, ok? Now go untie that rat’s nest off your head, thanks.

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