Man Up Monday: Rocco Mediate


Or is that Rocco Mightaswellnotevenshowup?

Okay, let’s start with the important stuff.  First of all, you can’t win a major sporting event rocking mom dockers and a peace sign belt.  Look, I want peace too, but at what cost?  The price you are paying is way too high.  Don’t golf courses had dress codes?  You know, collared shirt tucked in, no metal spikes, no denim…all the bases are covered.  They don’t feel the need to get all the way down to the details of “you must wear shoes”, “no tank tops” and “no flip-flops” because all those rules are assumed.  Well, I have to believe the peace sign belt and the extra high rise mom khaki’s have to be on that assumed list.  Which is really bad because this outfit is completely acceptable:

Now Payne (R.I.P) made it look good, but that joint is ridiculous in the streets.

Back to Rocco’s second issue.  Anyone leading a major championship who is within 3 strokes of Tiger Woods always suffers from “The Tiger Effect”.  It means that as they are playing their final round on Sunday they hear the wild cheers and they see Tiger charging up that leaderboard and they start gripping up and losing strokes.  That is if it just happens on the same day.  Rocco got to sleep on it last night.  Talk about pressure.  You are the 157th player in the world and you have an 18 hole playoff against the baddest golfer in the history of the world.

I know how you feel Rocco.  The commentators only had 20 hours or so to whip out all the sports clichés.  “Rocco has nothing to lose”.  “Tiger has a bad wheel”.  “Rocco has the chance of a lifetime”.  “Tiger will be worn out because he is going into the fifth day of his first tournament since his surgery”.  Whatever.  Tiger is coming for blood and he’s a straight killer.  Rocco is going to be paired up with him and watching him play all day too? 

You can’t watch that all day and keep your head.  Does Tiger wear red on playoff day too? 

Rocco, I hope you got a good nights sleep last night (you didn’t), I hope you ate your Wheaties, I hope you’ve got the Rocky theme on repeat on your iPod and you watched the ’04 Red Sox vs. the Yankees, the Giants vs. the Patriots, the Miracle on Ice, and Angel Lola Luv vs. Gravity because you are going to need to serious inspiration.

Man up Rocco.  This is the chance of a lifetime.



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One Response to “Man Up Monday: Rocco Mediate”

  1. Will Says:

    AY Brock, if Rocco had Lola cheering him on the sidelines maybe he WOULD have a decent chance -BUT- this being reality – he gonna get that azz whipped by Tiger.

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