Spitzer’s Hizzie on the Beach

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I guess you can’t expect this babe to keep her clothes on, right? Ashley Alexandra Dupree was sunning it up over the weekend on the prestigious Jersey Shore.

Damn, I wonder what that tattoo says, “I fucked a Gobner and the entire State of New York!!”?

Now I’m not sure what a “Buss it Baby” is, but she’s got to be one, right? I can’t lie though, nobody ever called this chick ugly.

I wonder who “Unidentified Hoe Numba two” is there with her? I know, I know, she’s not necessarily a hoe, she could just be a friend. Right, she could be a friend…a friend who is a hoe. Let me tell you something. In my experience, hoes tend to run together. That’s why dudes often say, “look at them hoes over there.” And when was the last time you had a really good girl who ran with some straight hoes? Nah, heos are like mice. If you see one, there are far more where that came from and if you see two, they’re definitely part of the same crew. They’re hard as hell to get rid of and even when you kill a couple, they’ve just got about 4 or 5 more stepping up to take their place.

Hmmm, let’s see. Relatively thin, Amy Winehouse beak and hollywood cocaine skinny…Sure, I’d bet she’s about a 6 diamond level hoe and definitely hittable by Eliot’s standards.

Of course, Ashley is a full on 7 diamond, but we can’t all be a high priced hooker, ya dig? I’ll take my Ashley Alexandra Dupree sex tape any time now, thanks.

– Lake

—————-UPDATE—————-

Raafman in the comments says that the second chick on the grassy knoll is none other than Ashley Dupree’s moms!  That changes the standard altogether.  She is a 4 Diamond jump off if she is 21, but at an age of at least 45 (okay, let’s be real…Ashley is 23, Mom’s with a body like that is potentially 38 ) Mom’s has to be running through the “mature escort” game.  I mean she stays in the gym, and the gene pool is strong.  I mean talk about born and bred for the streets…

-Brock

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6 Responses to “Spitzer’s Hizzie on the Beach”

  1. raafman Says:

    That other “chick” in the pictures is Ashley’s mom-piece. And the tat reads Tutela Valui, a latin inscription which has been speculated to mean “fair value.” I like the matching Gucci shades myself.

  2. katalack Says:

    so lake was right…they are part of the same crew and ole girl probably was a ho. I hate to say it, but u can usually predict a ho based on moms parenting skills/values… this chick will forever be known as the ho who brought Spitzer down..only Mo Lewinski has a better whore resume for infamy.

    ‘they have ho’d’

    – Mr. Long, Black Sheep

  3. Brock Hardon Says:

    An escort that has the words “fair value” tatted above her moneymaker? Is it like a menu item? Does the market value fluctuate like lobster? Does she run promotions when business is slow?

  4. raafman Says:

    This just in: the nyt queried Latin scholars all over the city for explanations. “I used protection,” is just one of them.

  5. Sarah H. Says:

    Lake’s call stands… Two Hoes. Disgusting on that Tattoo…. shameless.

  6. ASHLEY ALEXANDRA DUPREE….AND HER MOM? « MRod says: Is the crew ready? Like spaghetti. Says:

    […] Read and…uh, view more here. […]

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