Down Goes Floyd Mayweather!


Aw Hail Naw. I’m out trying to get my drink right on Friday night when I see the information come through on the UvT hotline that Floyd “Money May” Mayweather has retired from boxing.

That’s right, Floyd threw them deuces to his entire career and said that hes not coming back.  Why, Floyd, why?  First, we find out that you were making it rain in a club with fake $100’s, now you are quitting the game altogether?

Look there are only a few reasons why Floyd would stop now:

1.  Floyd is scared of Oscar De La Hoya.

I’m hoping that isn’t it.  Oscar is way past his prime, Floyd always dominates him, and the payoff is worth $20 Million plus.  In addition we’d get another great season of 24/7 on HBO.  Always entertaining.

2. He’s worried about ending up punch drunk.

I actually hear this argument.  If you are a boxer, you don’t want to go out after you’ve slowed down, started taking too many hits and really begin to lose your faculties.  Besides, Floyd has seen the effects of staying in the game too long up close.  His dad took so many hits he thinks this haircut is acceptable.

My bad, that is mean.  The cut is acceptable if you are a predator or a klingon.

3. Money May plans to go UFC.

I hope this isn’t the case because I like Money May.  In boxing welterweight is 147 pounds…right that would be the average weight of a dude in high school…if you count the freshmen in the average.  That is not grown man size.  In the UFC a welterweight is 170.  Now I don’t know what weight Floyd “walks around” at, but he doesn’t seem like the biggest dude out there to me.  Let me be the first to say this.  Floyd might be the baddest, quickest dude in the division with the fastest hands, but no one is ever going to stand up with him.  They would have to be crazy.  Floyd will catch a kick to the leg and and takedown before the bell is done ringing.

4. Money May just needs a vacation.

This is where Lake shakes out.  He doesn’t believe Money May is going anywhere.  Floyd just needs a little time off, the right opponent, and the right payday.  So Floyd just needs a little R&R.  Where you ask?

Mexico of course.

And no Floyd.  We don’t want to hear about how you plan to follow your passion and release a rap album, or start acting, or any of that. We don’t care, you are a boxer and if you aren’t going to box we don’t need to see you do anything else.  Okay?  Thanks.


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2 Responses to “Down Goes Floyd Mayweather!”

  1. RosyF Says:

    “The cut is acceptable if you are a predator or a klingon.” Did yall see the accompanying pics? Too funny…mark that as a Brock classic…ya dig.

  2. Triple_B Says:

    Yeah i was dyin on that one. People at the office were looking at me funny.

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