Tatum O’Neal Cracks Up

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Tatum O’Neal was picked up buying crack on Sunday. Yes that is as crazy as it sounds. Sure, it isn’t that interesting that she’s on drugs, but who smokes crack? Also, if you’re famous, can’t you get your crack delivered? Plus, if I had to guess, Tatum would have been a cocaine chick. You know, crackheads are like meth tweakers, they usually end up looking like this:

If you’re on cocaine, you can still look like this:

Seriously, I’m not into drugs, but you gotta go for the clean high right? You don’t go to that crack rock until you hit the bottom. You know, you need to be living in a car and eating crackers and ketchup before you go to the crack rock. Invest in your high. What do rich people get high on these days? Ambien? Oxycontin? Red Bull, Codiene and Viagra? Hell I don’t know. But drop a couple of dollars on the good stuff.

As always, Us Versus Them always tracks down the interviews no one else can get. This time the interns were able to track down Tatum’s ex husband John McEnroe for his exclusive statement on the topic.

You ain’t lied John, you ain’t lied.

-Brock

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3 Responses to “Tatum O’Neal Cracks Up”

  1. KIR in NV Says:

    But she said she was researching a role as a junkie. Doesn’t that get her a Get Out Of Jail card, especially since the “Do you know who I am?” ploy didn’t work? Guess not.

  2. Mr. Cheeseburger 9000 Says:

    I hope she gets the drug treatment she needs.

  3. Will Says:

    Didnt John Mac marry her when she was like, 18?

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