Yo, I’ve been out of pocket over the last couple of days. I know, it’s because I was tending to my ailing Auntie, right? Uhh, nah. The only thing that was being tended to were those plentiful bottles of Grecian Geese I was imbibing by the liter full.
And just so you know, that Grey Goose Gimlet is the perfect weapon for that weekend long bender. Anyway, it’s just a great time to be living in Beantown because this sports culture out here is just fire! Things are happening so fast that I can’t even catch up.
I mean, no sooner than Manny Ramirez jacks out that 500th homer, thereby securing his place in the Baseball Hall of Fame and Red Sox lore forever, he runs off and hits one again. Dude, Manny is a MONSTER at the plate. And while he hasn’t passed my favorite all time baseball player Pedro Martinez yet, homey is truly knocking at that door.
At this point, the only way a cat can keep Manny in the ball park is to go ahead and pitch him a Mariah Carey-Cannon special:
HA! That was terrible. I mean, first off, who does she think she is with that gear? Is this chick a fast ass, facebook happy 17 year old teenie bopper or a 38 year old cougar with a substandard pre nup game? Put some damn clothes on, take them stripper heels off and put some damn umph behind that first pitch. Then again, I guess you’d have a hard time getting that ball all the way over home plate too if your diet consisted of yeyo, Cannon balls and celery sticks. I mean, just imagine how skinny she’d look if she didn’t have 8 pounds of silicone sittin’ on high to fill out that extra medium pink top.
Anyway, moving on.. big up to the Celtics for putting away those Pistons, too!
You gotta be happy for Paul Pierce because that fool has struggled in Boston. Sheeyut, I knew the C’s were gonna win after game 5 when I saw Bill Belicheat sitting in those floor seats with that wild woman.
Lol… Dude, I know some cats are breast man, but Bill is taking the thing a bit too far. So much for the perception that all these guys do is work. Clearly Bill’s been working all right….working them J’s. Damn. You know Belichick had a microphone in the Piston’s locker room, bought off a ref or three and put that stone-faced hoody hex on Chaucey’s ahem groin.
Anyway, though I’m not a fan of all the teams, the Sox, Celts and Patriots do make for year ’round sports bliss in the Bean. Out.