I’m Rich Biiiyatch!

by

Damn, this isn’t even about stupid criminals, this is just plain sad.

Charles Ray Fuller, a young man from Texas walked into a bank last week and tried to cash, not deposit, cash a check for $360,000,000,000 dollars. Count those zeros, that is not 360 Million, that is 360 Billion…with a B.

Chuckie, do you even know how much cash that is? How much that would weigh? Did you know it would make you the richest man in the world?

You see where he scratched it out? Like he was about to go for 340 Billion dollars and was like…naaaaaaahhhhhh, I’m gonna need an extra 20 billion to really do this thing right.

That reminds me of that Chappelle’s Show skit where Tron became the richest man in the world by shooting dice. “Clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Come sit on the lap of the richest main in the world”

Hey homey, watch as Money May counts out One Million Dollars in cash:

That is a million dollars in hundreds. Just ONE million. Do you see that big ass duffel bag he needed? You need 360,000 of those duffel bags to get all your cash home. Did you pull up with two tractor trailers?

When police tracked Charles Ray down, they asked him how he got the check and he replied “my grandma gave it to me to start a record label”. I don’t know if all the record companies in the world have ever made $360 Billion.

Hey Charles, I got money…and I don’t jack people for their shit, but even I’d whoop your ass for loot like that. I asked Lake and he said you might end up buried under the bleachers in the new Yankees stadium like that Big Papi jersey. You were probably better off without the money.

-Brock

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6 Responses to “I’m Rich Biiiyatch!”

  1. Will Says:

    luv that muggshot. that nicca hiiiigh as hell! lmao

  2. RosyF Says:

    When I was a kid I used to watch Duck Tales. I always wanted to swim in gold coins like Uncle Scrooge. If I had thought that through, I would have realized it wasn’t practical. I have settled for just making it rain.

  3. Lake Arlington Says:

    Hey Rosy, I didn’t know they had Duck Tails in Jamaica. Technology sure is great.

  4. RosyF Says:

    Jamaica? Nah..playa. Not at all. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy some reggae gold and oxtail…just not my peeps. One love : )

  5. KIR in NV Says:

    I loved this story too, especially the part where they also dropped MJ possession charges on his azz on top of the forgery they hit him with. I was thinking how in the hell could dude even have any MJ left in his possession after trying to run this scheme? He obviously smoked it all up before he went to the bank and based on his actions while at the bank, it must have been pretty good stuff.

  6. ODB Says:

    Duck Tails was a great cartoon, brought back good memories. This guy is an asshole. He’s smiling in his mugshot.

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