Worst Idol Season Ever Looks For Subplots

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Maaayne, let me tell you. Brock doesn’t call me the Reality King for nothing. I’m a reality tv kind of guy. It’s for that reason that I just have to say how disappointed I am in this season of American Idol. Sure, per usual you have your no talent blonds:

Unambiguously gay cats:

Ambiguously gay or ultra bitchy “hard core” cats:

Cats who can sing but who will ultimately go double wood in record sales:

A dude who will inevitably be hooking up an island resort half-off-key falsetto and ukulele remix of the bitchy version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, you know the one, “eeeewwww, eeeeeewwww, whoa-oo-ohhhhhh, whooooooaaa, daaaaaaaaahh, daaaaaah, daaaaah, la-la-laaaaaaaah, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, some, where-eeere…” AHNT!!! I hate that shit.

Does anybody doubt that this cat smokes a pound of bud a day? Seriously, you gotta be a wacky dude to forgo your presumption of legitimacy/white privledge and hook up the pink toe dread lock.

I mean, it aint like the white man corn row, which I may or may not have rocked at one time during a hoops tourney, because with that you can just take it out and you’re back where you want to be.

Oh no, not with the white man dreads. You gotta apply soap, dirt, neglect and beeswax just to get into the game. Then you gotta decide which way you’re going to go. Will it be radical white man Al Qaeda dread or Grateful Dead, hippie, Ali G. having fun at your expense dread. Decisions decisions. One direction you won’t be going in is Soul Food (the Movie) dread or conscious Love Jones dread, because neither of those groups will truly accept you. Sure, you might get a piece of arse from some allegedly “down sistah” who really just wants some smooth YT or poetry sistah who is really just a freak like that fine babe from Girlfriends, but neither of those are sustainable. And why? Because the white boy dread who is not a stoner is a fraud and will eventually be exposed as such. But when you’re a pale dreaded fraud running in the legitimate black social world or the entire bullshit poetry slam (“spinning and bouncing I’m feeling yooooou and you’re seeing meeeeeee”) world, a legitimate ass whooping is just seconds around the corner at any given time.

Ok, that was a MAJOR digression. Lake knows a thang or two about integrating “hisself” into different cultures though. I’m well-rounded folks, well-rounded. What was I talking about again? Oh, yes, how terrible American Idol is and how all that’s left are the subplots. Well, the best subplot this year has to be the increased drug use and corresponding decreased brain activity of Paula Abdul. This broad is wacko. Check out her act from the other night.

Jeez. I mean what wild combination of dilznick, prescription drugs, liquor and narcotics is this babe tweaking on? She’s a judge on a show that pays her millions and she can’t remember that each contestant only sang ONE song? Whoa, hey Fox, it’s definitely time for a change for next season. Someone in that middle seat that’s coherent would be a nice start.

– Lake

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One Response to “Worst Idol Season Ever Looks For Subplots”

  1. Will Says:

    lmao@ dilsnick. Yeh Paula is more Spacey than Kevin right neh

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