Confirmed: Roger Clemens Likes Young Girls

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I’ve been saying for years that Roger Clemens 1. was a MAJOR ASS, and 2. got a complete pass on all his bullshit from the fans and media.

Well now all those chickens are finally coming home to roost. Even the largest of the large Roger apologists are running and hiding in their little holes and I love it. First we get word that ole Rog was taking the spike, using the juice, roiding it up, along with his wife piece and now we’ve got news that homey is a pedophile? Huh?

Oh yes. A few days back the New York Daily News reported that Roger had a long-term relationship with a country music singer during his marriage to Ms. Roidger Clemens. No problem, right? Eliot got his client 9 on, MJ was buckin’ with pros for years…but but wait it gets worse (Onyx, Slam reference). Roger started up his relationship with Mindy McCready when she was 15 YEARS OLD.

I know, I know, Roger was just trying to keep shit 15 year old artsy like Miley Cyrus… I get it.

Yikes! Now, I don’t know what Miss McCready looked like back then, though I assume she was a FAST grower, but this is what she looked like a few months back.

Awwww naww. Let me tell you. When a woman takes a mug shot with a big ole gash on her face, but still maintains that ice grill, you know she’s a bad mufucka that’s been through some shit in her life. Anyway, I’m quite sure when Roger was slump busting with her, she looked more like this:

(I’ve always appreciated the open mouth, longing eye with the light ‘touch myself’ effect on the shoulder. It does good things for me) Or this:

And this:

I must say. I mostly hate country music, except that classic John Denver Country Roads is the fire, but that concave stomach piece is talking to a nilla and I’m sure it was talking to a Roger back in the day too.

I mean, forget steroids and HGH, whenever Roger was struggling or didn’t have his best “stuff” as they say in Baseball, I’m sure he just got a piece of her best stuff and all was right. Seriously, is there anything more rejuvenating in this world than a piece of young ass? Now, I’d like that young ass to be LEGAL ass, thank you very much, but hey, Roger is the best right hander of our generation (uh, no that would be Pedro Martinez, thanks) right? C’mon, he’s the Rocket….It’s All-American and clean. What strong American buck doesn’t want a piece of illicit country ass? It’s like apple pie.

Damn, maybe Lakey the Smooth needs to take a closer look at this country angle. Then again, that’s old school Mindy, you know, back when Roger had a use for her. It’s not new school Mindy.. let’s not forget what the Roger-less country singer looks like this now:

Damn. Aint nothing country sexy about that. I know, I know, Roger had her on his plane, in his hotel room, alone and all, but he wasn’t hitting that. You Roger lovers can save that talk right now. Let me tell you something, if you’ve got a teenage sanger up on your plane at 20,000 feet, you’re hittin.

If you’ve got a fast ass (sorry player, comment away) 15 year old up in your suite, you’re cuttin. Now, if you’ve got a 15 year old who looks like the above in your suite and you’re NOT hittin…well, then you’re an idiot. Why? Because everybody will assume you’re up to shady shit anyway, so you might as well get after it. Look, if you’re a grown ass man, don’t be alone with 15 year old girls who aren’t your daughter, period. And if she aint your daughter, what are you with her for anyway? I mean, what do you have in common, except this blog, mtv, vh1, reality tv, hip hop and everything else in pop culture. Ok, so you’ve got things in common with young girls. That doesn’t mean you have to be alone with them. Just don’t do it. I don’t give a damn who or what she is. It’s just not worth it on any level. If you have any respect at all in the community, the accusation alone will end you. Which of course is what Roger and his lawyer, corn pone Jenkins aka Rusty Baker are saying.

Ole Rusty says this is all some elaborate plan to sully Roger’s character. Sully his character? Dude is a scumbag already. You can’t dirty up something that’s already a piece of shat. And if it’s not true, if Roger wasn’t hittin them young 15 year old draws while he was 28 years young and married with two kids with K names, then why did Mindy admit that he was slaying it?

I know, I know, you can’t believe her, she’s a druggie who has lied and cheated her whole life. Kind of like her ex-boyfriend, the Rocket Man. I love the Rocket’s defense tactics. I mean, for real, it’s just that classic Eddie Murphy, Shaggy special…

“Caught me bangin a teenager, waddent me, my wife took them steroid, waddent me, Andy Pettitte admitted to HGH, waddent me, Hall of Fame is ova!”

– Lake

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2 Responses to “Confirmed: Roger Clemens Likes Young Girls”

  1. KIR in NV Says:

    I’ll cop to it: I was feeling Roger back in the day. Baseball is my sport and I always liked the way he used to bring it. Except when he signed on with the Evil Empire and then he was dead to me.

    But all this noise about the roids, the mackin on the freshmen, the angry pressers with the legal team, I’m on to you Rog. You dirty and my boy Lake had you marked from jump. Go away, you bother me.

  2. Your Friendly Neighborhood Virgin Says:

    So this is what I’ve been missing by not having TV and newspaper in the last year? WOW. A governor, a baller… Aww man, I suppose this isn’t unusual activity but it makes me really think about staying a V forever! This was a fun read, what happened with Mr. Clemens? Is his head buried in the sands of Coney Island? Are he and the governor in a support group together–has he been diagnosed with accute-I-can’t-help-myselfness yet?
    \^-^/

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