You Can’t Buy Swagger

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Or maybe you can. Damn, what does Swagger smell like?

We know that Diddy is always talking about swagger. If he uses Proactive to “preserve his sexy and moisturize his situation. Maybe he uses this to protect his swagger.

Diddy’s former manservant, Fonzworth Bentley, wrote a book about swagger.

But as far as I know, he still doesn’t have any either. So maybe he can get a case of this stuff and actually Advance his Swagger.

My favorite part of all this? The product being on the market means that there is some young brother, or Lake style nilla in the marketing department of Old Spice that sold this name through to a room full of old white people. What was that meeting like?

Young Dude: Let’s call the new scent “Swagger”

Brand Manager: What does that mean?

Young Dude: It’s like…being cool, confident, knowing you’ve got it all together.

Brand Manager: Yes. Yes, that’s it. We want people to be cool with their friends and cool in their armpits. I like it! Cool, confident…that’s the old spice way. Let’s do it.

Fellas, it doesn’t translate here. While I’m at it, you also can’t sell a sparkly body wash as “bling” scented, or your next body spray as “fo’ shizzle”. I know your 50 year old brand needs a new market, but this ain’t it. Someone please tell me what this stuff smells like. How do you put swagger in a bottle?

-Brock

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One Response to “You Can’t Buy Swagger”

  1. Will Says:

    Jjust another case of ‘When Whitey Goes Urban!’
    It never works.

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