R. Kelly Trial: The Most Unshocking “GOTCHA” in Legal History


Prosecutors in the R. Kelly trial launched their Law & Order style attack on aRa today in court. In trying to prove that he likes young girls, they are whipping out…gasp!…evidence that he married a 15 year old Aaliyah when he was 27. Shocker!

That’s not exactly Columbo type material there. It is actual fact. I think the papers are filed in the state of Illinois. If there was an official marriage, then it was probably legal…dontchathink? Sure, R. Kelly seems to be a sick, sick dude. You know the saying where there’s smoke, there’s fire? Well, right now it is smokier than four weed heads getting their smoke on in a car that is billowing black smoke, with a smoked ham in the trunk, with Smokey Robinson on the radio. The problem is…R. Kelly is fanning the flames with stuff like this:

Yeah, the female tongue belt buckle probably isn’t going to help.

The mask probably wasn’t a good idea either.

Also, if you are going to use the “wadden’t me” defense it is probably a good idea to make your sex tape in a regular room in front of a white wall. Getting it on in your freaking “log cabin” bonus room when you actually have a log cabin bonus room at your house probably isn’t the best idea in the world. I know…I know it was photoshopped, or a doppelganger, or your cousin Brock was at your house that day. Whatever.

Well R. finally figured out that he needs to lay low. So now he is wearing a disguise everywhere he goes.

Niiiice. Real inconspicuous. Dress like Goldylocks before your child exploitation trial. Dammit aRa. You are a musical genius…leave teh young girls alone. I know, you didn’t do it. Jigga – Kelly, not guilteeeee!


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4 Responses to “R. Kelly Trial: The Most Unshocking “GOTCHA” in Legal History”

  1. Everyone is Interested in the R. Kelly Trial « Us Versus Them Says:

    […] is Interested in the R. Kelly Trial Brock Hardon isn’t the only one who is taking a keen interest in the R. Kelly sex with a fast ass little girl trial. No sir. In […]

  2. chantee Says:

    got him ! yeh right . before peolple say anything i don’t think anyone has a right to judge him. come on did he force the girl ……i dont think so and the woman testifying what exactly is she expecting to get. i am a girl and i know that there are people out there who are really sick but Kelly ain’t one of them. how do i know – because he has made it pretty obvious that he doesn’t mind young girls so when girls go and throw themselves at him what do they really expect. in this case i ask “why did the woman and the so called “girl” wait all this long before speaking up. the only people who know the truth are R. Kelly , the “girl” and the woman and someone is definately not telling the truth. All i can say is don’t try to ruin a man’s life for nothing!

  3. john Says:

    GIRLS THROWING THEMSELVES AT HIM!??? The girl in question was 13 years old!!! Chantee, I hope you don’t have a 13 y/o girl that you allow out with boys – she’ll be eaten alive! “Dont try to ruin a man’s life for nothing”??? Is taking advantage of a child sexually nothing?? Wow, your sense of morality is shocking. We have laws to protect kids and, unfortunately, no laws to offer moral help for the Chantee’s of the world. Abuse and neglect of children is criminal. Period.

  4. Aintgonnabe Says:

    What’s a crime?
    Isn’t here a victim in a crime ? When the alleged victim won’t come forward and identify themselves in the absence of threats or coercion, has there been a crime?
    Sex with children is both sick and illegal. But there is something patently Anti American in the way this trial has been pursued.
    Until the so called victim (I’ve seen the video and can’t swear yeah or nay as to the age of the young lady) come forward… Why isn’t the woman who has come forward testifying to a 3some with a minor, being prosecuted….
    In forming the concept of innocent until proven guilty, John Addams wrote,…”better ten guilty go free, than one innocent…”
    Yet we give amnesty to the confessed criminal, to convict another who maintains their innocence???
    If i were guilty and needed only name another to walk free, you can bet your ass I would name whomever I was asked to name. And I suspect I am not the only one who would.
    Frustrated Prosecutors with political mandates and agendas, are just as unscrupulous as their much higher paid adversaries on the defense.
    A victim/accuser is requisite to a fair trial… Prosecutors ensure that the laws of the land and the rights of it’s citizens remain inviolate. Without victims, the prosecutor should never become accuser. Never. To allow this, to sanction this is simply Anti-American.
    When if victims come forward, then let’s nail R Kelly to the Cross if the Law permits…Til the, the prosecutors in this case, the media and other promoters of this circus need to find a more worthy cause…
    I am offended by adult -child sex acts, but that does not make me a victim of such behavior …. Nor does my personal revulsion justify my joining witch hunts…
    Let the young lady in the video come forward or let rkelly go. he can escape us … he can’t escape the judgment of the Almighty…

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