Speaking of Crazy Eyes…

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Can someone tell me which one of Stuart Scott’s eyes is the “good” one? I don’t know if I can watch another minute of NBA coverage if I don’t know which one to focus on.

See, here’s my problem. As a Black man, and knowing Black people…my automatic reaction is to trust the brown one because you can’t trust the grey one, can you? That joint looks cloudy as hell, and it doesn’t seem to move too often. So that leaves us with the one on the left (my right), but that joint looks unreliable as hell too. I mean it doesn’t even try to engage me when I’m looking at it on TV. It looks like it is trying to figure out what’s going on in my kitchen. I know…I know, that’s fucked up, I’m just saying that’s where it’s looking. I mean, has this dude always had two different colored eyes? I don’t exactly remember that from the early “Booyah!” days.

Apparently the left one was the good one until Stu got caught with a football in the eye-piece during practice with the NY Jets a few years ago. He’s lucky it happened before the YouTube era or it would be living on the internet forever. (and I’d be linking to that joint right now). I just hope he was running routes and wasn’t just walking in front of the wrong automatic throwing machine at the wrong time. Even still, if he was running routes, that means he was aware of, and trying to catch the ball and it made it all the way to his open eyeball. Catch with your hands, not with the body…damn Stu, that’s rule #1.

At least he didn’t go out like Star Jones.

So if anyone out there, knows…let me know.

-Brock

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