Making the Band 4 Update: June & Robert Make It Official!

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Mayne, I haven’t been this excited since I heard Duke landed Mason Plumlee. Since my little hiatus, I’ve had a number of readers hollering at me: “Lake, you a mufucka, where are the posts?” pretty much sums them up. But then my girl Jabz in DC hit me with this, “Did you hear about Rob and Junebug?” Junebug? My first thought was, “who in the hell–”

Ohhh, that June-bug! Wow, so it was true all along, “The Real Mrs. Curry” was fixing to be the real Mrs. Curry… Makes sense. Looks like a lovely affair too, Miami perhaps?

What do yall think Robert said at this very moment? Nobody can be sure, but I bet you it bore an eerie resemblance to this:

See first of all
I know these so-called playas wouldn’t tell you this
But I’m gonna be real and say what’s heart
Let’s take this chance and make this love feel relevant
Didn’t you know I loved you from the start, yeah

When I think about all these years we put in this relationship
Who knew we’d make it this far?
When I think about where we would be if we were to just fall apart
And I just can’t stand the thought of leaving you

Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain’t getting no younger, we might as well do it
Been feeling all the while girl I must confess
Girl let’s just get marriieeeeeeed

Ohhh weee. Dude, that is one of those classic ‘Good n Terrible’ moments in R&B history. I mean, “Let’s Get Married” is so good. Soo soo good. Isn’t that what a young lady wants to hear during the best moment of her life? “We aint git’n no younga, we might ass well do dis…let’s get murried.” Kind of reminds me of that classic Kanye line “and I don’t want a girl that will answer to ‘a-yo'”. I mean, if a chick accepts that marriage proposal, she deserves whatever she gets in that 4 year stint errr life long commitment.

But did she say yes?

Hell, yes she did! I don’t care how much you’ve been through with a dude, you aint going to put your hand up in the jheri curl juiceunless you’ve got real love for ’em… And not that bullshit, “I got love for you so come git your clock, it the club with 20 broads like Flaaaavor” kind of love neither. I’m talking real good lovin.

Awww, that’s sweet. And I see my man kept that engagement ring ahem “artistic” on this first go round. See, when you’re an artist, it’s about doing something original, you know? Then once that tour pops off and my man is getting one-fifth of the adjusted gross proceeds from those concert tours, then it’ll be like mo money, mo money, new ringy, new ringy.

That’s cool. I guess we know the deal on that “ice” Robert’s got on that wrist though. Actually, what’s really going on with this picture?

Now I done told yall about tattos outside where a golf shirt would cover. Now I did make an excpetion for entertainers, athletes and thugs, but what happens when Rob’s voice gets tight like K-Ci from Jodeci, but he’s sittin on Fred from Da Band money instead of that Jo Jo and K-Ci money? I mean, an inkless hand might be what the doctor ordered in this recession people. And did Rob and June just go ahead and get married right on the spot? I mean, is this that super speedy, “will you marry me, no I mean, RIGHT NOW, MARRY ME!!!” type deal because homey has a wedding band on that finger already, right? Oh well. We can’t speculate about too many things.

Except that see-through dress and them non-matching drawls up underneath. June, you my girl, but WTF? And don’t tell me you didn’t know. You knew you had on a see-through dress when you saw that thing hanging next to the beach towels in that post card shop you purchased it from. Come on now. And what’s with that wild booted shoe just hanging out to the left of the shot? Maybe it’s just me, but that joint looks like the shoe Dave Chappelle put on Mos Def during that first drug warskit on the Chappelle show. Haa Just laid them joints up under his feet.. Too funny. Just damn. June is an attractive enough young lady, but I can’t support the crazy attire on one of the most memorable days on your life. Keep it classy.

Like this little set up my man Rob has. That’s classy. Homey’s got all the necessities.

1. Smoove Detroit playa, mustard yeller might-be-gators
2. Lobster for two, Steak N Eggs to share in the middle
3. Solid A1 – now see, that’s why I like my man Rob. Say what you want, but EVERYTHING tastes better with some A1 sprankled on top. A1 is like the crack of condiments. Once you go there, nothing else really compares. Ok, worcestershire sauce has it’s place too. I won’t lie. Lakey done gotten some work done with those two.
4. Some bubbly, can’t argue with that
5. Fresh fruit…. nice touch.
6. Perfunctory rose pedals under their feet

Anyway, I’m happy for the couple. Just one thing. What’s the liklihood that Rob sang to June when they got engaged, like, 75%? Who knows, maybe June will hit us with that information. Remember, she’s the only person, aside from Brock and me, to have posted something on this blog. Remember how she was writing that book?

Anyway, congrats to the couple. Yellow is the color of love. I also appreciate Rob’s hand placement there. Definitely “you are my lady” style there. Dammit, I just can’t shake those pink draws though. Normally, I wouldn’t go there, but it’s just wild to me. First off, ladies, you can’t ever have more than one inch of material on the side band of your drawls. I don’t care, that’s a Lake rule starting now. Nobody wants extra thickness up around the hip, this aint huggies. Ok, Ok… no more suspect commentary. Congrats to the “Exclusive” couple. I’ll be waiting for my Evite with baited breath.

– Lake

————UPDATE—————

This is high quality right here. I’ve always wondered why people garnish up a plate with random pieces of lettuce, parsley, a lemon slice…now I know. Those lobsters up there look lonely as hell. I mean they went from the water to the plate. Not a pat of butter was melted, no shell crackers, no little ass fork, no bib, nada.

Who brought the film crew by the way?

I also disagree on the lyrics Robert dropped. It had to be:

Baby girl I want you excluuuuusive, baby we should just doooooo this, cause the feeling’s so strong, how can we go on? Which lyrically is exactly the same as “Let’s get married”. Hopefully he rocked the real version instead of that off-key slow version.

By the way, I’m going to agree with Be On It from the comment board. There are some wide-side draws that get the job done. A sister in some boy shorts gets it done. If I’m not mistaken, Lady June may also be rocking the hanky pankys in which case she is fully thonged out in the back. In which case she’s really giving it to cats on the lo back there.

I told you fools that Diddy made June and Robert deny that relationship on national TV. Junebug, where you at?

-Brock

—————UPDATE 2—————–

Oh shit.  I missed the plastic on the chairs.  They must have gotten engaged at grandma’s house.  Great.

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10 Responses to “Making the Band 4 Update: June & Robert Make It Official!”

  1. Be On It Says:

    Hey! Your one inch on the side of the drawers rules out boyshorts, bantangs (the lacy precursor to boy shorts made famous by vicki secrets), ultra low rise hipsters, and, if you happen to be a supa tight lingerie collector, the sexy teddies and garters that you hook to your lace trimmed thigh highs. Damn Lake, surely a playa like yourself has seen more than bikini briefs, thongs, and g-strings!

  2. RosyF Says:

    Lake and Brock, yall came out swinging on this one. Wow. I guess the vacation errr…hiatus brought out Liu Kang cuz I felt the flying kick on this post.

  3. Lake Arlington Says:

    Be,

    I’ve sampled all of the above. I agree, the boy shorts have their place, but not up under the dress piece. Never was much of a fan of the garters though, too much material. I’ve come to appreciate the commando era of ladies’ fashion. Junebug would have really been on fire had she flowed drawless…

  4. Kaye Says:

    Why is Robert on here denying the “rumored engagement”????
    http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid607767144/bctid1507870924

  5. SHARA BOO Says:

    ARD FIRST OF ALL LIKE I SAID DEY AINT MARRIED….CUZ I HEARD ROBERT HIMSELF SAY IT WHEN I WAS ON HIS HOME PG….SECOND OF ALL DAT BITCH UGLY…HE WANT D.WOODS….AND THIRD OF ALL WAT DA FUC KIND OF NAME IS JUNEBUG…AND 4 OF ALL DAT BITCH IS UGLY

  6. jnme2u Says:

    Not sure what the real deal is !…Maybe it’s just a publicity thing going on to sell more CDs. (regarding Junebug and Robert Curry)… But hey.. I want spend a lot of time trying to find out !… If it’s true Congrats to the happy couple… ! Some of us need to find some business and leave this relationship to workout between the two people involved.. and Not be a bunch of busy bodies who lean towards gossip and rumors !

  7. ericka Says:

    I think robert lost his mind because first of all he said on the show that him and june bug wasn’t together second I hope him asnd that trick he with get a divorce

  8. denishea Says:

    i cant believe robert is with such a golddigging slut robert you idiot i cant you like sluts like junebug iam so sorry but your wife is such a trashy slut and i hope you realize that and if you got a problem email me my name is Denishea and i am serious on that player slut!

  9. ... Says:

    This is the 1st time I ever spoke out on the whole Robert and June thing or whatever you wanna call it… I know Robert and his family personaly. I have also met June. I know how both families feel about them being together. But that’s not my place to say. But what I will say is I wish them the best… But if he gets hurt… MM I’m jus go leave it at that… Bye

  10. Justice Says:

    He gave D. Woods up for her. LMAO!! SHE UGLY AS HELL!!

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