Every kid knows there are three great days when you are in school. First, movie day. I’m old school so I remember when they used to roll that projector into the center of the room. You walk and and you know it is on. Do they even have movies on reels anymore? Do kids now just get that VCR tape or DVD? I guess they look for the TV on the rolling rack, then they know it is all good. Second, Field day. Recess all day long? I’ll take it. The third and greatest day? Field Trip. You know it’s coming. You line up your permission slip, convince your mom not to chaperone, and roll out to the science museum, a factory, a sports event, whatever.

They could have taken me to the backroom of a Foot Locker and 12 year old Brock would have been like “This is Great!”. But field trips were never like this.

Randolph College in Virginia took a class to freaking Vegas for a field trip. Where did they go when they got there? Shows? Nah. Gambling? Math class maybe? Not even. They took their “American Consumption” class to the Chicken Ranch…a legal brothel. For those who don’t recognize the technical term, that’s a ho house. A place where pimpin’ IS easy. Where even the biggest loser, the fattest, ugliest, greasiest cat gets a shot at the tail if he’s got enough cash.

That means that you can hit this:

Attractive-ish-esque, young lady if your paper is right. Hey, I’m sure at 2am she slicks that baby hair down and looks like a real winner. Plus, she’s like Burger King you can have it your way…that’s gotta count for a few points.

But I digress, back to the field trip. A group of college students went to interview these chicks. What the hell did they go talk about?

The ladies failed porn career? How the woman is always in control and strong because she is making the decisions? Asking for a clean place to sit down? I bet ol’ girl in the jean jacket here didn’t take her hands out of her pockets the entire time.

When asked “why do you do this”?, Peaches, or Alexis, or Jesse or whatever this chicks name is said, and I quote, “I enjoy giving back what some people don’t get in their lives, as far as companionship, time, just the touch of a woman”. Wow. That’s just like community service. Where do you sign up? Habitat for Homanity? The Red Draws? Teats for America? Titty Year? Stop me anytime, I can do this forever.

Everyone wears feather boas to community service by the way.

Honestly, what is the take away from this cross-country trip? This school better have the biggest endowment ever to be investing in this trip. The owner of the Chicken Ranch said she thought it was important to educate people about legal prostitution, but admitted that no one had ever come to interview her pros before. Sometimes when you are first you are a pioneer…other times you are just the first person to try something really dumb. I’ll go ahead and say this is the latter. Let’s check out the class.

Impressive, taking notes and everything. I actually feel sorry for the guy who drove all the way out to the Chicken Ranch with a G in his pocket trying to get some action and walked in to see a bunch of chicks taking notes in front of camera crews and photographers. Let me tell you (not from experience) the last thing you want to see when you want to get your paid cut on is a camera man. That’s gotta ruin the mood.

Here’s some more class in session.

Is it just me or do you also get the feeling the the two guys on the far right missed the bus back to the hotel?

Randolph College admissions just got tighter. Their AV club is going to have their choice of members for a long time coming.


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2 Responses to “Best…Fieldtrip…Ever…”

  1. KIR in NV Says:

    There are PLENTY of college students making field trips to the Chicken Ranch, Pussycat Ranch, Sheri’s Ranch, etc. Believe that. They just aren’t necessarily writing papers about it later. And BTW, most of these “ranches” are just a few double-wides pushed together on a dirt lot surrounding by a rusted, half-falling down wire fence and a sign with about three bulbs still working advertising “Hizzoes For Rent”, but w/e.

    I’m not sure why the madam (boss lady) at the Chicken Ranch claimed that her hizzoes had never been interviewed before because these chicks are in the paper, on TV, in magazines and generally getting their pub on all the time. Sundance Channel was just out there filming a series about the “sometimes tense relations among the prostitutes working there”. I’m sure.

    Line up college frat boys, married conventioneers, losers who still live with your Moms, dudes who dig the freaky life – Kandi, Starr, Angel and the rest of her crew are here to make all your dreams come true. Just make sure you bring stacks (all major credit cards accepted too).

  2. otis Says:

    i didnt have yalls email lake or brock but check this outs

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