Ms. England Pageant Needs To Step It Up

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I can admit that it’s in my nature to hate. That’s fine, but there’s really something wrong with the Ms. England competition.

Hey. I know what you’re thinking and I’m not trying to fuck with the already ridiculous body image of my lovely ladies, but somebody has to say something. But before I start up, let me just say that it aint just Ms. Surrey over there on the left that’s off key, because I think Ms. Plain Jane-shire on the right looks about as good as the chick that just sold me $4.11 gas and a single pack of fig newtons last night. Damn. And it’s not like these chicks aren’t trying to look good, they’re dipped in body and face paint to look their best. Is this the best this nation has to offer?

Are you serious? I do appreciate the cottage cheese avoiding low slung wrap piece, though. That at least let’s me know that she knows. Now we can safely assume that she’s not one of those “Yeah, AND?! I know I look good” type babes.

And I know that there are dudes out there that love the big girls (And they always say the same thing, “Did you see that ass?”), so I’m not hatin’. But come on. You just gotta know your limits. Ms. Surrey here, she clearly doesn’t know her limits.

I know, I know, she’s “really pretty”…right and why do women always say that about a babe who is bigger and just not ugly. But do you see that amorphous gut piece? That aint big and sexy… That aint, “I have a curves…I don’t look like a little boy,” another big girl on offense favorite. Wowzers, All I’m saying is to keep it tight within the genre. Like most plus sized models, they’re fairly tight within their genre.

And just to let yall know, it took me entirely too long to find a big girl who was tight “within her genre”.. I know they’re out there, but it was HARD, ok? I will say it takes a lot of balls to roll out like ole Ms. Surrey though. And who really choose that babe to represent Surrey to begin with?

I mean, if you’re going to go big girl pageant love, you gotta do it right. Come on now. I don’t see how she got that big to begin with, it’s not like there’s anything to eat over there anyway. The food is awful.

Incidentally, that’s not impressive either and she’s literally Ms. England. I can see the thickness mandate hasn’t made it across the pond yet. “USA, USA, USA…”

– Lake

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