Lake is Already On His Way to the Barbershop


I tried not to let him see this, but it was already too late. Apparently, the hairstylists of Korea have figured out a way to make normally super-straight Asian hair turn into an afro. Peep this.


Apparently no one has figured out how to give a shape up yet. Any brother who has ever rocked an afro knows that the post pick-out “pat down” is the most crucial step.

Don’t think this dude is the only one. Check this:


This dude looks like he might have gotten tricked into this. He thought he as going to get the Super Saiyan and ended up with the SuperFly. That look in his eyes is like, “This is some bullshit, Ilardo

Don’t worry ladies, they can hook you up too…


She’s keeping it real right here. Looks like some old Lauryn Hill, first album type stuff here. Real bohemian.

Lake is going to want one of those any day now. In fact, he’ll probably try to grow it out long and make me cut my shit into a gumby so we can look like a fake Kid n Play.


He can stop that dream right now.



Quietly I’ve always had a secret desire to hook up a legitimate white man jheri curl and now I can really do it. And no, one of those terrible Weird Al Yankovic/Don Imus specials won’t cut it. I need the real deal.


Now all I gotta do is strap on my cleanest and meanest Bape butter gear, hitch a bird to Japan, get this fro procedure and then presto… I’m Deion, I’m MJ (yes, that MJ), I’m Lando Calrissian (meaning, a pretty muthafucker who aint good for shit, just how I like it), hell, I’m Pedro Martinez!!!! Now that would be HOT!


Sheeyut, I’m already out of control. Can you imagine it? Lake with a legitimate curl? I’m already a complete and utter asshole on the edge of getting my tail kicked erryday, but this would just put me over the top. Lakey the King on steroids. All this love afforded a top shelf white cat like myself with an optional curl for kicks? Shoot, as soon as I get activated, I’ll be like Kanye on fools, “were you saying somfin, uh uhh, you can’t tell me nothin‘.”


My only issue is whether I should get the dry or wet curl. I’d love to tell you that I’d keep it gangster with my Ice Cube inspired mane, but I’m just not sure I can mess up my $5,700 Lynx coat my nilla… And no I’m NOT sure if that pic above with the brother spraying himself with that wild can was the best idea given the ethnic composition of our staff here at UvT. Maybe I’ll call in sick tomorrow..AGAIN until things cool down. Fuck it, just with the possibility of a curl, I’m 150% more gangster than I used to be, I’ll be alright.  I may be pretty, but I aint no punk.


Besides, being a cool white cat that’s close to the culture has it’s risks, but I already took the red pill. Can’t turn back now.

– Lake

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One Response to “Lake is Already On His Way to the Barbershop”

  1. F Says:

    high yellow + curl = bitch-made
    dark + curl = pimpin’

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