Eliot “Money Pay” Spitzer Hit This

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Dammit, is it just me or is this chick getting better looking with each released photo? I said it. Incidentally, click this link right HERE for the musical accompaniment to this post, Youz A Ho, Ludacris.

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Unless that fool in the back is hiding a G in his Jamz he needs to back up off the merchandise.

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Realistically, what would it have cost him to hit that night. You know she won’t whore in any old dump, so let’s say $350 for the highest end Jersey Shore Hotel. Then you add $200 the hotel would later add to his tab for those stolen minibar snacks and mini liquor bottles. I know, I know, a scrub like this wouldn’t even have a credit card to to put on hold for incidentals, I know, just humor him err me. You know that she’d mark up that cab ride, normally $10, to $50 and then $1,000 for the deed itself. Oh don’t worry, lubrication and condoms are included….What, you thought they wouldn’t be? Come on, she’s a professional.

So let’s summarize:

$ 350
$ 200
$ 50
$1000
____________
$1,600 Subtotal
$ 320 20% Standard Gratuity for Ho Activities

$1,920 Grand total

So there you have it. That’s what it would have taken for this clown to get some tail out of Kristin Ashley Rae Maika Alexandra Youmans Dupree DiPietro that night. Damn, you know a babe is shady when she’s got that many names. Meanwhile, I’ll put any amount of money on this chick having some D list boyfriend before summer starts. Publicity stunt no doubt, but it will make for some decent blogging. My guess right now is Steve-O from Jackass.

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Why not, right? Nobody cares what he does as is, it’s good for headlines and you know she knows how to satisfy…. Go get it brother.

– Lake

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3 Responses to “Eliot “Money Pay” Spitzer Hit This”

  1. KIR in NV Says:

    Hotel room in Jersey…..$350
    Pilfered hotel room amenities…..$200
    Transportation…..$50
    Hizzoe action (materials and labor incl)….$1000
    20% Gratuity…..$320
    Getting your low azz plastered all over the internets….priceless

    Just curious Lake, do professional hizzoes like Ash-lay put the tip jar on the nightstand for the “standard gratuity” or does that just get included on the invoice? Where do they slot that income on the 1040EZ? The world wants to know.

  2. Lake Arlington Says:

    I wouldn’t know. If I had to guess I’d say it’s all performance based… Judging from her little Girls Gone Wild dance moves, I suspect that she’s done pretty well… and it’s definitely 1040 EZ, just not the kind you’re talking about.

  3. KIR in NV Says:

    Well, I knew YOU wouldn’t know personally, Lake, cuz you keep it classy. I just thought maybe you could get some intel from the network and run it back for us.

    I had no idea the hizzoe industry could be quite profitable, especially when you consider the labor pool is so saturated.

    I think I’ll stick with my legit gig though.

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