Mariah Carey has a new album coming out and this is how she decided to promote it. A few weeks ago she let people know her breast implants were still in full effect.
Shirt tight, chain disappearing into the dark abyss of her cleavage, hands actually pulling the shirt OPEN. Real subtle Mariah. Wait, those aren’t implants you say? Please.
Well I guess that wasn’t moving spins on the radio because she went on and broke out the full monty with a well placed magazine and wine glass.
Well hold on a damn minute now. That is the stomach of a damn 22 year old. Hold on while I google something right quick…
..and I’m back. Mariah was born in March 1970, which means she is hitting 38 in a few weeks. What the hell? Now I know Mariah was not that tight a few years ago. I mean this picture looks candid, but does she have a personal photoshop paparazzo that follows her around? Well she needs to keep them around because she is looking great. Intern, can we dial up another angle?
Damn, it is tight over here too. Come on man, something ain’t right. Those lines are too clean. Is my mind playing tricks on me? Whatever is going on, Mariah is still out there working hard. I don’t know if it is in the gym, under the knife, or in the retouchers computer, but she’s working somewhere.
She’s bad alright, but it’s bad meaning bad not bad meaning good, ya dig? I can’t lie though, she’s kinda CrazySexyCougarlicious in that white blouse. I don’t know, there’s something about some large Js in a tight button down, it kind of trumps everything else for me. Man, Mariah really fucked herself up. I like Vision of Love Mariah.
That Mariah gave you everything you needed, but not too much. I don’t know, there’s just something about the fake J game that isn’t right. I mean, it’s literally like the steroid era in Major League Baseball, it’s just fucked up the UvT pastime. Hell, she aint been right since she made that remix with ODB. In fact, let’s go ahead and run that joint for kicks.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a hot song, but everything was down hill from there on out.
Damn Lake. Do we need to have a staff meeting? First you give Mario a pass for banging out that video chick, now this. Hey it was a question. Mariah’s stomach is as tight as Beyonce’s in those pictures so I threw it on in the lab. I don’t understand what is happening. Show me that ass and I’ll tell you the real deal, but stomach and J game is your area of expertise. The bottom line is this…is it real, or is it Mammorex?