Big Brother 9: Josh Is Out Of Control!

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So I’m a pretty big fan of Big Brother and this season has been pretty decent.

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I mean, they went with a fairly compelling plot twist with the whole couples thing, but what really makes the show are the individuals, right? Which brings us to this mad man Joshuah (now was that extra H really necessary?).

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Homey is off his damn rocker and quite frankly, I like it. First off, dude comes into the house trying to front on some ole, “I feel good…I’m surrounded by beautiful women…” only one problem, homey is as gayER than a B2K slumber party.

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I know, I know, Big Brother freaks, Josh’s myspace or facebook or some other foolishness says that he’s a Bi-Sexual. Well, I can’t lie, I have seen homey taking a long and hard look at Sharon so maybe there’s something to it.

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And quietly, Sharon aint like tv hot, but she’s definitely “trapped in a house 3 months with no outside contact, I may be gay but I wasn’t last night” hot.

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Oh yes, she is that.

You wonder if Josh forgot that they paired him with the other gay dude in the house, no not James a dude who is one base away from closing the deal with his “soul mate,” Chelsia.

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Though he is also a gay porn actor (literally and NO I will not provide that link). I know, I know, according to David Hernandez, American Idol top 12 contestant, having sex for money with other men errrr dancing at a gay strip club doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay. It doesn’t? Then what exactly does it mean? I don’t about you, but watching and participating in gay male porn is gay to me. I don’t think it’s all that complex really. But Lakey, they say, what about men in jail? Are you willing to say that’s gay? Hell yes I’m willing to say it’ss gay!! Shit, I’ll write it down, take a picture, get it notarized, then put in triplicate, in fact, I can’t think of anything more gay than jail house thug passion.

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Gay as shit. If you voluntarily fuck with men and you’re a man, then I have a little message for ya:

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Ok? I think we’re pretty much done with the issue of what is gay and what is not. Back to Josh. He had no problem saying he was gay. So they originally paired him up with the other clearly gay dude in the house and all was good.

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Then that dude had to leave the house, so I think the whole experience kind of drove Josh a little crazy.

Josh’s Pink Bible Beating

For instance there was the Pink Bible incident that occurred after the house guests learned that there was a couple inside the house masquerading as regular participants.

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Ok, that’s a bit shocking I guess, but not completely unforeseeable. But instead of kind of holding his mouth open for a 4 count and then getting his mind right, Josh goes off on some crazy tirade about how everyone needs to swear on the Bible that they don’t know anyone in the house.

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Now that’s already a bit nutso. First off, if someone is hell bent on lying, your Bible aint going to change that. Second, you running around with a Bible trimmed in PINK, talking about “If you put your hand on this and lie, then you’re going to hell” is just waaaaaay too ironic for a cat like me. Uhh, Josh, you’re an openly gay man from Texas!!! Maybe you haven’t noticed but most folks from around your parts aren’t too keen on PANK Bibles or your lifestyle, so why are you running around like Ted Haggard Jr. Jr. challenging people to put their eternal souls at stake because you were duped for 3 days in the Big Brother house?

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And Bro? Please add a shirt to you flow. Your shirtless swagger aint that hot.

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Not exactly what I was looking for, but it’s progress. Anyway, I can only assume that Josh rocks the Pink Bible as a political statement. That’s fine, just don’t hit other cats like all of a sudden you’re qualified to dictate what will or will not be sending them to hell, least of all, some bullshit about who knows who in Big Brother..Terrible.

Bout To Be A What? Girl Fight, Part 1.
It’s not like gay cats aren’t known for sometimes showing a little flair for the dramatic. But Josh takes his flow to a whole different level. It’s like her summons up the hate from the days of yore and fixates it like Mumrah the Ever Living or someone. I mean, this cat truly gets after people he doesn’t like. Now, we haven’t seen him get crunk with another dude, because quite frankly, homey would probably catch a swift and quick arse whupping if he did. But just look at how he came at this chick Amanda, wow.

That, “If I was a girl, I’d slap you” and “you’ve got a horse face.. you’re too ugly Amanda, giddie up” was crazy..

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LOL..This cat’s rhetoric is pretty outstanding. Deplorable and borderline cruel, but definitely noteworthy and ice cold.

Bout To Be A What? Girl Fight, Part 2.
Josh’s hate for Allison is just on a nuclear level. Homey told her that she was ugly, flat chested (why does he care?), scheming, had no sense of style and just all around terrible. And he’s saying this to a chick who is probably the most arrogant chick in the entire house. He did it 1. because she legitimately was the worst person in the entire house from what I could see and 2. because she lied and said she was a lesbian.

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Now I’m not sure why she thought it would be cool to lie to a gay man and say that she was a lesbian, but she did. Judging from her derogatory remarks about gays, I would guess that she has little respect for gay people generally. Well, anyway, as a result of that and her general terribleness, Josh was INTO this chick. I mean, he really got after her…I call it poetic justice. Peep it.

Then, when she’s getting her ass kicked and can’t take it, she starts lashing out at the dudes, as if it’s their problem that she lied about the lesbian thing and was a raging beeyatch for two weeks in the house..

You can’t win with a rabid gay man. All the previous rules go out the window. Bottom line is that you were fucking terrible, you sucked and now your candy ass went home, done deal.

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Seriously, Allison is a nut job… Completely delusional and the worst. All this talk about “I can get any guy I want….I have no problems with men,” and her repeated statement tht everyone in the house is “intimidated by her.” And then this talk about her “education”… what? Josh went to the University of Texas, a school I’ve actually heard of. She went to some random school in Florida that I’ve NEVER heard of, but she’s talking shit about her education? Talk about delusional, this chick is on another planet.

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The truth of the matter is that Josh was right. There’s nothing about Allison that’s hype, hot or exceptional. She’s not all that hot, she’s not all that educated and she’s not a nice person, so why not put her in her place? That thinly veiled pretense about “what Josh said doesn’t bother me” is so obviously a lie that it’s just laughable. I mean, if you aren’t upset about his comments, which is silly because anybody would be, then why are you continuously going back at Josh, talking shit and making cracks about how his boyfriend is probably “butt fucking” someone.. veeeery cosmopolitan.. Veeeery educated.

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Let’s see, basic homophobic digs levied at a dude you claim to be scared of. Ha.. And is there anything worse than some chick who talks hella shit and then goes to the “wait until my daddy comes and gets you?”

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If you can’t handle the shit situations you put yourself in, don’t put yourself in them. Don’t start getting pissed at the other dudes in the house for not coming to your defense, they don’t like you. Quietly, they like that you’re getting dissed and crying your eyes out. You need to look at the woman in the mirror, ask her to make a change. Wait until you brother and dad come, why? So that they can catch a swift ass kicking too? I don’t think so. Face it, you fucked with everyone in that house, everyone hated you, dissed you, then voted you out of the house and Josh kicked you in your candy ass on your way out the door. Karma baby.

– Lake

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