MTB4, Season 2, Episodes 5: Aubrey gets pimped

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Ok, so I know all our loyal readers were pissed at me last week when I failed to deliver the goods on that Episode 5 of Making the Band 4, Season 2. Hey, what can I say, I should have come through and didn’t. Even perfection takes a day off from time to time. Anyway, though I should be writing a book about lasts week’s show because it was that good, I’ll just give it minor love and keep the thang moving with Episode 6 dropping in about 8 hours or so.

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Clearly last week’s show was all about that damn Den Mother nonsense. It was pretty funny how Puff hit him with those critical questions:

“Do you know Danity Kane?”

“Does your gaydar tell you Q is gay or is not gay?”

“Hmm, well you know who I am though, right?”….. LOL. The only thing that would have made it better would be if he hit him with that “Of course, you starred in Ray, you’re Will Smith.”

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But he didn’t. What can you do? I liked what Big Mike showed me in reaction to that whole thing.

“This guy is A MAN, and he wants to be called Den Mother…I don’t git dat..ut uh.”

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See, that was believable. Now the other cats talking all loud about how “he has to go” and showing out in the van ride that one time, I ooown know. To be honest, they kind of pushed me the other way on it. It’s always that semi suspect cat who is talking the most shit about an innocuous gay cat who just happens to be in his presence.

I can’t lie though, that pool trick they pulled was pretty much what the Dr. ordered.

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Mike played it masterfully, it’s just too bad homey was in a shallow pool… I wanted to see him ass submerged and flailing like the cat he is…but what can you do?

Meanwhile, we got that little flashback from the ladies and their “Den Mother” incident… Now I watched Making the Band 3 and I don’t remember that Her-cu-les level clown causing a ruckus, banging out pots and pans and such. What I did make note of, however, was how hot Aubrey looked in those flashback pictures..

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Yes, I know that’s airbrushed, but this one aint:

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Dammit, now that’s what I’m talking about. I loved that young, fresh Aubrey… Many cocaine bumps and far too many weaves later, I feel like I don’t even know this Aubrey.

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Baby girl, take those ridiculous headbands off, cut out that weave (you don’t need it), get some easy breezy cover girl natural looking face paint and get off them carbs!

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You were looking less than tight during that run. I mean, what’s Aubrey without the smooth stomach? That’s her trademark. Just because you’ve got the Roger Clemens enhanced rack that doesn’t mean you need to go with the Rocket inspired enhanced stomach to boot. Appearance matters in your business, tighten it up.

Then of course, we had this week in “What the fuck is Aubrey talking about?”

This time it was her crazy rhetoric about how the songs they got weren’t right. I did love how that cat was hitting her with that low music industry level rhetoric as he reclined on that wild pool chair and basically gave her no burn.

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Please note the bullshit sunglasses rocked at night. Ha. I really appreciate a solid dick move and this guy has it down. I liked that “do you know how many artists have made this mistake?” rhetoric he came with later. “You went platinum, you can’t complain about nothing”…..sure. They did go plat, but where’s the guap my man? On your wrist because it sure as hell aint going to Aubrey’s weave fund.

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Dammit can that wig piece get any more ridiculous looking? Anybody ever wonder what happens to the women who actually grow these weaves out? Anyway…

Then Aubrey came with the classic, “I feel like this is a pimp and hoe relationship, I’m the hoe and I feel like I just got pimped.” Well, that will tend to happen when you project this:

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I know, I know, this is empowering. It’s not about men, it was for YOU… your sexuality and embracing who you really are on the inside…uh huh.. If I call Playboy up will you move the hands?

Dude, the best thing about her “I’m a hoe” epiphany is that Aubrey unlocked the basic premise for all these fledgling groups. Puff is a pimp and no question, all yall cats are his hoes. You think you’re getting over when he puts you up in that Miami mansion, gets that studio time and flies in all those producers, only he’s not paying for that shit ultimately, YOU ARE….HOE. I’m just glad yall finally got around to figuring that shit out. I mean when the cat rolls up to you and says, “let’s get this money,” he’s talking about YOU getting HIS money, not him putting you in a position to make your own. Don’t believe me, go ask the Lox, Mary J., 112 and Ma$e…

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– Lake

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3 Responses to “MTB4, Season 2, Episodes 5: Aubrey gets pimped”

  1. tuff_fish Says:

    You forgot to mention the funniest part of the episode. D-Kane were whining the whole time about wanting some “heat” from Diddy. The end of the episode, they get this whack ass track that sounds awful and they’re all celebrating about this new found “heat” Diddy finally sent them like it’s a hit song. It sounded like complete trash! lol!

  2. jessica Says:

    wow…just read ur article (not tuff fish), and i dont get why ur so hell bent on cussing aubrey out? and u call danity kabe a buncha hoes but at the end of the day look at them, they r young, beautiful, travelling the world, having hit songs and living their dreams, im sure if u had the chance to be one of diddys ‘hos’ u would unless u already hav the same amount of money and fame they do…which i doubt sumhow. and why call them hos, wat about the boyband? their situation is exactly the same, diddy is there boss, its just tht their men not women like danity kane. well neway perhaps u should remember its just a tv show, u talk about it like its ur life…there r more interesting and important things u kno…well at least for most of us
    ps. white girls can have weaves too u kno, i dnt hear u saying anything about the black girls hair…u kno theirs aint real either

  3. Lake Arlington Says:

    Jessica, read the rest of the blog and what will quickly come to you is that A. I talk about a lot of topics and my criticism are hardly for DK alone and B. That I specifically call the boy band out for their shortcomings. As for your silly statement about white girls and weaves, first, I’m white and know good and well about your chicks and your need for weaves, ok? If you want equal time for the “black girls” jump into the tv and have them talk like an idiot like Aubrey does, then I’ll give you what you want. Your message is hardly worth replying to, but do me a favor, stay in school. Thx.

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