American Idol’s Gay Stripper Scandal

by

Here is a real conversation earlier today at Us Versus Them headquarters.

Brock: Did you hear that the Hispanic cat on American Idol was a stripper in a gay male strip club?

Lake: Nooooooo. The little guy with the lipstick?

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B: Nah, not him…the other dude. Taller guy.

L: Ohhhhh, true. The crazy flamboyant cat who talks all that shit and gyrates all over the stage?

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B: Good guess. But nah, not him either. The other…seemingly gay, Hispanic cat.

L: Who?

B: (*getting my Google search on*) uhhhhhhhhhhh, David Hernandez.

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L: Who?

B: You ain’t lied. I didn’t know who the hell he is either.

Shoulda known. Ol’ D. Hernandez is rocking the stripper pose in that damn picture. Hell, all three of them look like they are breaking out the stripper moves.

And no David, we don’t want to hear any parts of your “I worked in a gay club, but I’m not gay” argument. If you get butt naked for men stuffing cash in your g-string that is gay.

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That no shirt, bowtie combo you are rocking right now is gay. Sitting next to those two drag queens is gay. The way you’re holding that beer is gay. This picture coming up:

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It’s gay. Lord Jesus…We aint seen cuts in a garment like that since, well, Nathaniel Golden, Jr. David, I hate to do this to you, but you knew it was coming:

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There, I said it.

I know, I know at first you were just working behind the bar with no shirt on and before you knew it you were ahem “sliding down a pole” while “What is Love” by Haddaway pumped over the sound system.

Don’t hurt me…no mo.

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-Brock

=================Update================

Dude, as if this couldn’t get any worse, I just read that this cat still claims that he’s straight and used to work at this strip club…

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It was called ahem “Dick’s Cabaret”.. Haa Lordy! And the owner didn’t let David off easy, he remembered the boy as a good earner (low!).

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errrrrr

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According to a report by the Associated Press, David Hernandez appeared fully nude and performed lap dances for the club’s “mostly male” clientele, club manager Gordy Bryan told the news wire service. “He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here,” Bryan said. Bryan claims Hernandez – who hails from Glendale, Arizona – worked at the strip club, Dick’s Cabaret, for three years until the end of September 2007.

Jeez.. I was much happier and more comfortable when American Idol Scandals looked like this:

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What is the world coming to?

– Lake

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7 Responses to “American Idol’s Gay Stripper Scandal”

  1. RosyF Says:

    LMAO each time I read this post. This is a UvT classic! You’re gay should be trademarked.

  2. Big Brother 9: Josh Is Out Of Control! « Us Versus Them Says:

    […] also a gay porn actor (literally and NO I will not provide that link). I know, I know, according to David Hernandez, American Idol top 12 contestant, having sex for money with other men errrr dancing at a gay strip club doesn’t necessarily […]

  3. Corey Ingvartsen Says:

    YOU PEOPLE ALL SUCK!!! Making fun of some ones life style isn’t funny and news… Your just jealous cause he has had the chance to do American Idol and you suck!

  4. Lake Arlington Says:

    Corey, let me guess, “you’re gay”.. right? lol

    Lifestyle? What? Homey was a gay stripper.. that aint a “lifestyle” that’s selling yourself because you can’t make money doing anything else. Funny, I watched American idol tonight and he said something about working at a “barista” is that what they’re calling whore houses these days?

  5. Will Says:

    Great post! But I was actually stuck on the Idol contestant – the tall one – second pic, and his gay version of Anton Chigur hairdo!!!! lmao!

    (‘No Country For Old Men’ … finally – a movie for GUYS that Hollywood didnt fuck up. classic)

  6. Corey Ingvartsen Says:

    Well its funny how you judge people for what they do he came to sing and show his talent doing that which doesnt have anything to do with his past… Like i said its the common idiot to make fun of someone for there past and not what they have in there future.

  7. Corey Ingvartsen Says:

    And whats wrong with me being gay and out about it? At least im not afraid to hide who i am … ARE YOU?

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