Who The Hell is Flo-Rida?

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I’ll be straight out with you. When I saw him launch his first single with T-Pain, I knew two things. First, I didn’t trust him. Second, no matter what I think, the song is going to be ridiculously popular.

“Low” is one of those songs that get’s stuck in your head all day. “Shawty had those Apple Bottom Jeeeeanns, and dem boots wit da furrrrrrr.” DAMN YOU T-PAIN. I wish I could quit you! The song is hot, those damn “Step Up 2 Da Streets” clips in that video are completely off key and unnecessary by the way. By the way, how many times are they going to make that movie? Step Up, Honey, You’ve Been Served, Stomp the Yard, hell even Drumline. Lake said it best, we know how all these movies go. A hot headed dancer from “da skreets” shows up with his “mad skillz”, but needs to understand “real/old school/classic” in order to take his “Ill Crizzew” to a “Whole nudda level”. Of course the climax of the movie is some sort of “throwdown crew battle dance/step/play your instrument while looking mad”-off. Seriously, that shit ain’t hard, you aren’t a gangster…you’re still a dancer.

Back to Flo-Rida. I was ready to write him off as a one-hit wonder until I heard this:

I mean my goodness. Listen to that joint with some good speakers too. Timbaland laid some naaaaasty bass underneath that thing. Timbo’s wild “ficky-ficky errr-errr-errr” hasn’t sounded that hot over a beat since Aaliyah’s second album. He flipped Rihanna’s Umbrella-ella-ella into an Ella-Ella-Elevator, but I’m not mad at him for that.

Look, Flo Rida is never going to be in the discussion for “Top 5, Dead or Alive” with lyrics like these:

“Hey
My first flo stopped on a gold digging woman
Money cash flow all big faced hundreds
Frontin’ on the pole got them d-boys running
Shorty got both broke can’t see what’s comin’
Wear them apple bottoms, wear them apple bottoms honey
Dolce and Gabbana and she get it from her mommy
Louie, Von D ,Gucci, Fendi and Armani
See the carrots on her wrist now she pimps bugs bunny
Used to date Kanye now she want me
While I got my juice wanna take my OJ
It ain’t her birthday with her name on a cake
If I ever pay for pu**y, grade A”

Bottom line. It bumps in the truck. Check it out.

-Brock

===============Update=============

Damn, I didn’t know T-Pain was on “Low”… I thought for sure that was Nelly on the hook. Terrible. But like all things T-Pain, it’s literally good and terrible all at once. Let me tell you when you hear that “Apple bottom Jeaaaaan, boots with da fuuuuur” things get poppin in the club. Perfect club banger.  And what about that Travis Barker remix?

I hate to admit it, but T-Pain is a hit maker…dead up.

– Lake

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One Response to “Who The Hell is Flo-Rida?”

  1. Dilan P. Says:

    Hilarious blog. This is one of the best kept secrets on the net. Usversusthem is dead up hilarious. Keep up the great great work..

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