Freaks, skeezers and Hoes: It’s Big Brother 9 time

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Ha, I know some of you loved that old school “Skeezer’ blast I just laid on you. Oh, there’s more where that came from. Originally, this post was called, Racism (Ryan), Drama (Amanda and Joshuah) and Hoes: It’s Big Brother Time, but it just got too long. Hey, hoes take time, attention and commitment. So here I give you a fully dedicated post about the Hoes of Big Brother 9. What’s crazy is that it’s literally impossible to get all the crazy pics of these chicks into one post. I mean, Big Brother Casting did a phenomenal job this time. Take a bow people.

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Dude, where do I begin? Are yall watching this season of Big Brother? I know it was designed more as a stop gap to offset against the writer’s strike, but this is just top shelf on the melodrama scale. Let’s see what we’ve learned thus far:

1. Sluts rule

A. Ho Number 1 – Natalie

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In my first post on this season I talked about how hyped I was on this chick Natalie. She gives a whole new meaning to the term Jesus Freak.

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I loved how she invoked Jesus’ name immediately, while flaunting her ample enhancements for all to see.

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Turns out, the chick has a bunch of nice pics for us to look at, in fact, I’ll need to give her a separate post. In the meantime though, check her out hooking up the freaky massage to her Big Brother appointed “soulmate” Matt.

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Anyway, it’s hard to top the blatant and very appreciated hypocrisy she’s brought to the table, that was, until she gave her partner and Handjob and Blowjob within 2 days of knowing him and before the second episode was aired! Peep how she got started (actually this is the long version with everything).

Vodpod videos no longer available.Now see how she ahem finished him off (if you want to cut to the uhh chase, here’s the ending).

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Aww what the hell, here is another reverse angle complete with slurping and gargling (I’m not kidding):

Dude, she did it right too. She woke homey up, got him all revved up and then really finished the thing as evidenced by his expression when it was over.

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I especially appreciate how Matt turned his head away when she tried to kiss him. HA.. Full on pimp. By my count, that makes 3 mic checks and it hasn’t even been a full week in the house! I love this girl and boy does she love to take pictures of her half-naked body.

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Seriously, THIS CHICK IS AWESOME. Just look at her! LOL. I mean, buck ass naked in yet another picture and believe, there are literally hundreds where that came from. I’m still interested in this Jesus angle, though. I mean, what congregation does this broad belong to, Church of the Righteous Cutlery?

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Ok, I admit it, I just wanted to post a picture of God touching her boob.. You got me. I think I’m in love.

B. Ho Number 2 – Sheila

Not only did this chick do Penthouse and fuck with all kinds of D list celebs including Chachi from Happy Days, she also did soft core porn.

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This shot is classic!!! Oh yes, she is a dead up porn star in the filthy skin rag and on what I assume was the little screen.

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I can’t decide if this is terrible or awesome. I can’t lie thought, “ma” was attractive back in the day. Is there any doubt that she’d be hooking up righteous cut sessions and microphone checkers if she wasn’t paired with THIS dude?

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Ha, if these not safe for work pics (found HERE) are accurate..ha…and clearly they are, I think we can all safely assume that we know the answer to that question. Damn, I can’t lie, Sheila was sexy back in the day, DAMN!

C. Ho Number 3 – Jen

Well, it’s not totally fair to call Jen a ho. She’s more annoying than anything else. The bottom line, however, is that she really sucks at this game. The chick entered into the house with a major advantage, the fact that she had her boyfriend, Ryan, right there with her.

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Sure, the twist made everything harder, but only because they couldn’t keep it together. Jen should have stayed cool and kept her relationship a secret when the TMZ paparazzo, Parker, wanted to vote Ryan off.

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Then they’d still be in the running for the half mil rather getting what I assume will be the collar tonight. Whatever problems they had as a result of Allison’s crazy ass and I agree, she is pretty unstable and crazy, were self-induced.

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No matter how you slice it, Jen is a classic butter face with a flair for the dramatic. I can’t lie, her body is on-point right now, so I’ll give her some respect for that. But baby girl really needs to work on that personality. I mean, self-promotion, flat-stomach and sex drive aside, what do you have with that chick?

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Oh and Ryan, watch out for that girl. She doesn’t strike me as the faithful type. After all, she did dime you out for being a racist. Now why would Ryan be a racist, oh, that’s right, he banged his girl for all of 90 seconds and you allegedly have a problem with some black boyfriend she used to have that to quote one of my favorite readers in Nevada was “laying the pipe”…

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No wonder you don’t like interracial relationships, if my lady had been hittin off brothers and I couldn’t fuck, I wouldn’t like them either. But it’s got to make you wonder, what is it about Parker they thought she’d like… think long and hard on that one player…

Anyway, I think Jen was actually ready to tell the whole house that she and Ryan were together because they wanted to get their open cut on. And cut they did, Peep it.

That “Just bend me over (said TWICE)” was pretty aggressive. I like it.

D. Ho Number 4, Amanda

I actually like Amanda a lot. Not because of her personality or anything, but she’s got a hot body.

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She’s also sporting the New Day white woman ass.

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Not the best angle, but trust me, it’s there. I also appreicated how the other chicks in the house were hating on her for rocking the booty shorts all the time. I can’t lie, they were literally up past her ass piece, showing full cheek. Nice. Big Brother casting really got this one right this time. She’s hella annoying, but I like her for that solid new day tail piece. And boy, does she ever show it too. If the blogs have it right, she’s crazy with some wild disorder and is trying to sex up Parker.

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Pimpulate my player…

Hey, I’ve got a lot more to write on the Hoes of Big Brother 9, but I just can’t do it anymore. I mean, for real, there actually might be too much sexual eye candy and tension in this household. It’s so obviously coming, but I just can’t wait for the “Big twist” which allows people to swap soulmates, so these hoes can get their freak on with other cats…Should be good.

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Thank you CBS…thank you.

– Lake

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2 Responses to “Freaks, skeezers and Hoes: It’s Big Brother 9 time”

  1. Big Brother 9: ‘Til Death Do You Part « Us Versus Them Says:

    […] Big Brother 9: ‘Til Death Do You Part Update: Check out my latest post on the women of Big Brother 9  […]

  2. Lisa S Says:

    This girl is WAAAAAY out in left field! Cant make a wife out of a Ho…if ya know what I mean? Poor Girl! Who knows…maybe one day she’ll catch on!

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