Survivor: Bring back the hotties

Someone on the Survivor production team must be reading Us Versus Them, because not only did the new Survivor bite our style, they also followed our advice. First of all it is called “Fans Versus Favorites” FvF doesn’t ring like UvT, but there is definitely going to be an Us Versus Them element this year. After Survivor: China having a severe hottie shortage, Survivor: Micronesia – Fans versus Favorites is coming on February 9th, and they are bringing the heat in 2008. Let’s keep this simple and meet a few old favorites and some welcome new additions.

The Old School Favorites:

Parvati:

Parvati (who knew her last name was Shallow?) from Survivor: Cook Islands is back boys and girls. We already highlighted her as one of our favorites last season, before we even knew she was coming back. She’s a welcome addition. Plus we get another season of listening to Jeff Probst murder her name (Poverty, Proverty, etc.).

Eliza:

Lake and I disagree on this one, but I’m down with Eliza. She’s quietly a dark horse to win. She’s been doing analysis and commentary on Survivor since Survivor: Vanuatu with the infamous Murtz. She gets the game and has paid attention to all of the changes in the game. She knows what she did wrong last time and will be gunning to fix it.

Amanda:

Our favorite blurred out chick from Survivor: China is back. With Parvati and Eliza in the mix, you will see exactly what I’m talking about with Amanda Kimmel. She’s not really that tight. Wait…you don’t recognize her?

How’s that? This was the angle the camera men preferred. I wonder if she had time between seasons to realize she needs more appropriate clothing so she doesn’t spend this entire season behind the blur.

Let’s check out the new chicks of Survivor…they brought some winners here too:

Mary:

Damn, I see Mary Sartain went to the Vida Guerra school of dipping yourself in sand for pictures. She’s a pro in more ways than one. I hope her game is as tight as she looks. We need her to stay around for a while, she…ummmmm…looks entertaining.

Natalie:

Well at least Natalie Bolton thinks Natalie Bolton is sexy. She looks like drama. Why would you make that face in your picture? I bet all her friends have a stack full of pictures that look just like this. Hilarious. She’s out early, I can tell.

Tracy:

Pass Tracy Hughes-Wolf the botox…damn. I wonder if she can express emotion from the nose up? Yikes. Seriously, she either lifts weights with her jaw, or she got one last botox treatment trying to look her best on tv. What’s up with the Wolf in the hyphenated last name? There are real people with the real last name Wolf out there? Or is it this guy?

Alexis:

Here’s the obligatory sweet girl next door. Alexis Jones could go either way. I can’t really tell what she’s working with from this pic. I know before even looking that she’s from the south. Just checked…it’s Texas.

You see Jeff didn’t send his girl Julie Berry back into the fray. Hell, I still need a gratuitous Julie pic.

Well, those are the ladies. The vets also bring back Johnny Fairplay, James from Survivor: China, Ozzy, and my man, your man, the inventor of the fake immunity idol…Yau-Man.

Gonna be a good one. Stay tuned.

-Brock

==============Update=============

Brock you forgot one necessary Survivor Hottie: Jenna Lewis.  I mean, babe was so ill, they brought her back for Survivor All-Stars.

Not bad, but what really puts her over the top is that sex tape that I haven’t seen but which can be viewed on a NSFW basis right HERE.  You be the judge, because now you’ve got the information.  Is it Parvati without the goods or Jenna who you know is willing to go the ahem extra mile.

– Lake

Tags: Alexis Jones, Amanda Kimmel, Eliza Orlins, James Clement, Jeff Probst, Jenna Lewis Sex tape, Johnny Fairplay, Julie Berry, Mary Sartain, Natalie Bolton, Parvati Shallow, Surivor: Fans versus favorites; Yau-Man, Tracy Hughes-Wolf